“Fucking hell,” I growl, not able to hold it in as I sit up once again and toss my legs over the edge. “I’m going to fucking kill him, Zora. I swear it.”
Zora merely turns her head my way, staring at me through sun-dappled eyes. “Amell’s also the one who took away my pain as soon as the ceremony was over. He taught me and moved me into my own place. He also gave me protection so I could walk the streets of Otaxis with immunity.”
None of that lessens my anger.
“Amell is the one who took me flying,” Zora says softly, and there’s no mistaking the fondness there. “The joy he gave me made up for a lot of the bad.”
“I’m still going to kill him,” I vow, but I know I can’t. That would sadden Zora despite the horrible things he’d done.
“It’s complicated,” Zora replies sadly. “You had asked me once what I feel for Amell, and there are a million different memories of him that provoke contradictory feelings. If I ever tried to really boil it down, I’d probably make myself crazy.”
I try to see it from Amell’s point of view. He was carrying out his queen’s orders. He never expected to start caring for the human. He had to have been greatly conflicted.
I ponder that for a moment.
Nope. Doesn’t change how I feel. I hate the Dark Fae for causing her pain and agony, no matter if he healed her from it.
“He told me I was an orphan,” Zora says, and that jolts me right out of the plans I had started to formulate on how I might cause his demise.
“What?” I whisper.
“I told Carrick when we danced at the wedding,” Zora says quietly. “It’s funny… because I’ve forgiven Amell for so many things that were done to me in the Underworld, but that’s the one lie that I don’t think I can. Up until you contacted me and told me you were my sister, I believed I was plucked off the streets in the Earth realm. That was I nothing more than abandoned trash who would have died, and that I should be grateful to be in the Underworld and have the honor of serving as Kymaris’ vessel. I understand he told me this to save me the pain of wondering about a better life, but still…”
Her words trail off, a clear indication she’s not sure how this makes her feel. I imagine the barrage of emotions that come when she thinks about it must be suffocating.
I decide it’s time to stop this talk. Zora probably has hundreds of horror stories she could tell me, and I want to hear them all. I need to help her bear her pain.
But it’s enough for right now.
On my hit list, right beside Kymaris, I add Amell’s name. I want to make sure Carrick and the crew understand that when the final battle comes, he’s mine to deal with. I don’t know if I can kill him because I’m not sure if Zora would let me, but I do want to cause him pain in some way.
With a clap of my hands, I brighten my voice. “Enough serious talk. Let’s discuss all the things you still have to see and experience. We need to make a bucket list of items to do. We can probably knock a few things off before the ritual, what with Kymaris lying super low until the new moon.”
Smiling, Zora settles back into her chaise. Eyes closing once again, she says, “Do you think we can fly in an actual plane soon?”
CHAPTER 16
Finley
We don’t go back to the Academy this morning to work on Zora’s magical powers, but rather set up in Titus and Priya’s front yard where we first stepped foot from Seattle. The weather is glorious, there’s plenty of room, and the scenery is unparalleled.
Caiden isn’t joining us, so we’ve decided Carrick will be the one to help Zora tap into her powers. Titus, Priya, and I are taking a backseat.
Rather, we are sitting on the steps of their front porch while Carrick takes a moment to explain a few things to Zora out in the middle of the yard.
“We don’t know what you have inside of you,” Carrick says, pointing out our biggest hurdle. “We know it’s born of light magic, and then turned dark. We know Amell taught you how to hold some back, but we don’t know exactly what you have and how much. It’s entirely possible you’ve been able to segregate out some of the light before it got twisted, but it’s just as likely you only have dark magic.”
“Which is a liability,” Zora says with disappointment.
“Not necessarily,” Carrick replies with a shake of his head. “You have a choice in how to wield that magic. For example, you’ve chosen wings and the ability to fly. That doesn’t seem all that dark to me.”