Cock. He’d said it. Out loud. And she loved the boldness, the raw quality of that word. Eagerly, she nuzzled her cheek in the chest hair present in the V of his shirt. “Complicated?”
Tucker’s indecision was obvious. “I can’t, uh…reach completion. Not a real, satisfying one. The pleasure builds and fades to a manageable degree, but it’s nothing like you just had.”
“Why?”
Several seconds passed before he answered. “A vampire can only climax once he finds his mate.”
Mary’s spine stiffened, discomfort racing along her nerve endings and leaving them raw. “So you’ll never be able to…with me?”
“No.”
“Because I’m not your mate.”
A very long pause. “That’s right. It’s, you know…something a vampire can sense immediately.”
Her throat started to throb. “But someone will be your mate one day?”
“Possibly, yes.” Why did his voice sound unnatural? Was he imagining this mate and what she might look like? “If I find her.”
Mary had shoved Tucker away from her before she registered her own movements. Her esophagus—it burned. There were hot nickels pressing in behind her eyes and the whistling sound of her radiance spinning angrily could be heard in the forest. Her fingers curled into fists and her lungs expanded. She knew what was coming. She always did, but nothing could ever stop it. When it came time to let out the scream, nothing mattered but setting the burden free.
It wasn’t quite the same this time, though, was it?
Something did matter.
Tucker was going to meet someone else at some undetermined time in the future and touch them the way he’d just touched her. Kiss this faceless creature. Give her pleasure and worse, worse of all by far, this mate would be able to give Tucker something Mary could not.
“Shit, Mary…” Tucker said cautiously from a short distance away. “I didn’t mean to upset you. If you only knew how much I hate it.”
A strangled sound eked out of her.
“You could feel my rage earlier? Well, feel how bad I want you right now, honey.” It didn’t matter that he sounded miserable. In fact, in her current state, she didn’t mind it at all. “And think about it, Mary. Think of how…hard it would be if you were my mate and I had to watch you marry someone else. This is for the best.”
Logic had no place here. Nor did fairness.
Not yet. Not until she got rid of the scream building in her throat. All it took was imagining Tucker protecting another female and she breathed fire. The high-pitched decibel of the scream was painful even to her own ears, but God, letting it out was glorious. It took up her entire consciousness, turning everything blessedly blank for a few moments, taking away the frustration and jealousy. How had her feelings for Tucker gotten so intense so fast? It was as if they’d started at the top of a roller coaster that didn’t have any valleys and kept climbing to higher peaks.
Distantly, she heard the shattering of glass and the swerving of tires on the nearby road, but once it started, there was no stopping until the burden dwindled—
Tucker’s mouth closed over hers and kissed her hard.
His arms banded around her like steel, holding tight, rocking gently.
“It’s okay,” he breathed into her hair. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not,” she said, voice hitching.
She had growing feelings for this vampire—and he wasn’t the one she’d agreed to marry. Her goals were simple. To regain her sight. Call back the Assembly through the noble act of marriage to Hadrian, thus making amends with Tilda. The things that had been important to her for a lifetime were within her reach. Mary had no right to feel jealous. She was the one who would join herself to another. Not Tucker. At least not yet.
But this pit opening up inside her couldn’t be reasoned with. It just was.
And she didn’t know what, if anything, she could do about it.
Disengaging from Tucker’s hold, she opened the car door and started to climb into the passenger’s side, but Tucker caught her elbow before she could sit down.
“Wait.” His tone was gruff. “There’s glass.”
Mary swallowed. On top of throwing a tantrum, she’d shattered his windows, hadn’t she? He was probably regretting the day he agreed to drive her to Hadrian. “I’m sorry.”
“No, Mary,” Tucker muttered, brushing glass off the seat. “I’m sorry.”
They didn’t speak again until they reached the safe house.
They couldn’t.
The wind coming in through the three busted windows was too loud.
Chapter 8
Tilda ran her middle finger around the rim of the teacup, trying to appear as if she wasn’t intimidated by the vampire sorcerer across the candlelit banquet table. She was used to being the frightening one, but with a fire roaring at his back and ambition making his eyes glow like red coals, he was certainly winning this round.
“My bride is where?”
Tilda sat up straighter, projecting confidence she didn’t necessarily feel. “It’s necessary for Mary to travel by car. Her radiance can’t be subdued.” She lifted the teacup to her smiling mouth. “Airplane travel would have been a bit dicey.”