He must have blocked her number. He might be her dad, and he’d blocked her. It made her stomach drop and her pride hurt, but she told herself that was fine.
She didn’t need him.
She didn’t need anyone.
Maybe she was still drunk off minibar drinks, and maybe she was being overly emotional, but as she stood in that cheap motel room alone, truly alone, she swore she was going to do things by herself from here on out. She wasn’t good enough for Kh?i or this mysterious Phil Schumacher, but she was good enough for herself.
She didn’t need a man for anything. She only needed her own two hands. As she washed her hair and scrubbed the sand from the wedding off her feet in the plastic shower, a fire raged in her heart. She didn’t know how, but she was going to prove her worth. She’d show everyone.
She spent the day setting up a new independent life. She took a bus to Milpitas and searched the area by Cô Nga’s restaurant for apartments, found a place that offered monthlong leases and signed the contract, and went shopping for apartment supplies and new clothes. She’d rather walk around naked than ask Kh?i for her things. He could have them.
That night as she slept in a sleeping bag on the floor of her empty studio apartment, she dreamed Jade’s father took her away, and she cried herself awake and huddled against the wall, listening to the creaking of the building and the cars passing by outside. As it always did, her fear gradually changed into guilt. If she’d given Jade to her father and his wife, right now Jade would have a complete family with a mom and a dad, not to mention an expensive house and servants. Because she hadn’t given Jade up, her girl was stuck in a one-room shack while her mom carried on a separate life across the ocean. Would a better mother have given her baby away? Was it selfish to keep Jade? Was love enough?
Fierceness overtook her. Love would have to be enough. It was truly all she had.
When the sky lightened, she gave up on sleep and researched work visas on her phone. There had to be opportunities for someone like her in a place like this. She was very good at withstanding difficulty. But she read website after website, and they all said the same thing: She needed to have a college degree, twelve years of specialized work experience, or some impressive mixture of the two. She had work experience, but something told her toilet cleaning wasn’t the kind of specialization they were talking about.
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She was still struggling to accept this information when she walked into Cô Nga’s restaurant later that morning.
“Oh, Precious Girl has arrived.” Cô Nga ran to her and hugged her tight. “You had me so worried. Why did you leave without telling anyone anything, ha? Everyone was worried to death about you.”
Slightly in shock, Esme hugged Cô Nga back. “I’m sorry.” She hadn’t thought anyone would care about her after she turned down Kh?i’s proposal. She stepped away, forced a smile, and held her arms out. “You can see I’m fine.”
“Kh?i looked everywhere for you. He said he called you many times. Why didn’t you answer?” Cô Nga asked.
She focused on putting her purse in the regular spot by the cash register and keeping her breathing even. That was the only way to keep herself from falling apart. “I didn’t have anything to say to him.”
Cô Nga dismissed Esme’s words with a wave of her hand. “How are you two going to work things out if you don’t talk things over? Tell him what’s wrong, and he’ll fix it. It’s only easy.”
Esme’s heart thudded, but thankfully, she’d cried enough these past couple of days that her eyes stayed dry now. “There’s nothing to fix. We don’t fit, Cô.”
Her certainty must have been written all over her, because Cô Nga took one look at her, and her face went slack. “Are you sure?”
Esme nodded.
“Where have you been? Is it safe? Do you need money?” Cô Nga asked, patting Esme’s cheek and squeezing her arms like she needed to reassure herself Esme was really there.
“I have everything I need, thank you. I’m staying at that place down the street, the one that rents rooms monthly. It’s nice,” Esme said with a bright smile. Compared to her house back home, it was luxurious. It wasn’t hard to be nicer than her house, though.
“You’re here.”
She whipped around and found Kh?i standing in the doorway to the restaurant. He wore his regular secret agent uniform of black suit and shirt, but he looked different than usual. He looked tired. But still so beautiful he sent a sharp pang to her chest.
Desperate for a distraction, she grabbed the tray of sugar packets from the shelf and began adding the appropriate number of packets to the little boxes in the booths. “Hi, Kh?i.”
“You didn’t answer any of my calls,” he said as he strode inside.
“Sorry.” She could do this. She was going to maintain her composure. Three white packets of regular sugar. Two brown packets of Sugar in the Raw. Three yellow packets of—
He pulled her into his arms and held her tight. “I was worried about you.”
For the longest time, he simply hugged her, and she let him. There were reasons why she shouldn’t, but at the moment, she couldn’t remember them. He felt so good, smelled so good, and her lonely self drank him in. Something unfamiliar prickled against her cheek, and she brushed her fingers over his face and leaned away to get a better view. What was this?
“You didn’t shave—”
He kissed her, and sharp sensation arrowed straight to her heart. As soon as she softened against him, he deepened the kiss, taking her mouth with aching presses of his lips that made her dizzy. It was impossible not to respond when he kissed her like this, like he’d been worried sick about her, like he was passionately in love with her.