“It’s not that!” she interrupted. “Or…not only that. It’s more about me than you.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
She crumpled a little, her shoulders dropping, and Jamie realized it was the first time he’d seen her without perfect posture. “I’m sorry,” she said. “He wasn’t supposed to be here.”
He was a little embarrassed about how much that cheered him up. “You didn’t know he’d be here? Really?”
“No, not that. It was wrong. I know it was. I wasn’t playing a game, or I didn’t mean to, anyway. I only agreed to come to the party because he was supposed to be gone. I’ve got a new life now. I didn’t want to see him. When I found out he was coming… I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have brought you.”
He didn’t bother to disagree.
Olivia took a gulp from her wineglass, then set her shoulders back as if she’d realized she was slouching. “I apologize. I just wanted to loosen up a little.”
“In front of your ex?”
“Yes, in front of my ex! He…”
Jamie saw the way she swallowed hard, her jaw clenching, and he worried she was about to cry. “Listen—”
“That girl he’s with. Allison. She’s not the first girl like that he’s dated. And marriage didn’t keep him from indulging.”
“Ah.”
“Predictable, isn’t it? But I’m not bitter anymore. I don’t hate him. I swear it’s not like that. I want to have a life that has nothing to do with him.”
“Except when it does?”
Olivia shrugged and finished her wine before setting the glass carefully on the counter. While she was still turned away from him, she murmured, “He told me I wasn’t any fun.”
Jamie ran a hand through his hair, wondering if it would be rude to leave right at this moment. He was probably justified. Surely she wouldn’t object. He’d be kind enough to drop her off at her place first. “What?”
She turned to face him. “When I caught him cheating, he told me it was because I wasn’t any fun.”
Jamie grimaced. “Jesus Christ.”
“And you know what
? I’m not fun. But that doesn’t mean I can’t try to be.”
“You want him back?” Jamie asked, his voice so loud that she blinked in shock.
“No! That’s not it at all! I’m just trying to enjoy my life. Figure out who I am. I was only twenty-two when I met him. I’m not that girl anymore. So who am I?” She met his gaze head-on and, for the first time, she let him see something of herself. Something warm and vulnerable. “Am I the kind of woman who goes on a date with someone like you?”
“Someone like me?” Jamie ordered himself not to feel primal satisfaction at the way her eyes warmed.
“You’re young. Handsome. Purposefully charming.”
“I like to think of it as naturally charming.”
“Oh, it’s natural,” she said, her mouth quirking wryly. “But you use it to great effect.”
“I like people.”
She smiled then, chasing the sadness from her face. “I know you do. And you’re the definition of fun. So I thought…” Color climbed up her cheeks.
Whether he was angry or not, Jamie couldn’t help his interest in this woman, and the color in her cheeks intrigued him. “You thought what?”
“I’m trying new things. Like the book club. So I thought…”