“Something like that.”
She smacked his arm again. “I’m kidding. But really. L.A. is just heat and cars and…hunger.”
“Hunger?”
She hadn’t meant actual hunger, but when he frowned, her cheeks burned, and she scrambled to cover the truth in her words. “Everyone is starving for something there. Fame or fortune or sex or beauty. Even when you have what you need, the next person is always showing you why it’s not enough. Everyone feels desperate.” And then there was the actual hunger. Plenty of that to go around, too.
She wasn’t sure why kids with nowhere to go gravitated to Southern California. Maybe it was because it rarely got cold, but she didn’t think it was that logical. Maybe it was as simple as following the line of other souls who thought they were too jaded to hope, but somehow found themselves wishing for more. Or maybe it just felt like a place where things were possible.
Unfortunately, things were possible in L.A. Anything was possible. From your wildest dreams to a darkness you could never have imagined for yourself. She’d seen it all. One old friend had ended up on the number-one sitcom in the country. Many others had ended up dead. Or worse. Maybe she should be thankful she’d found some middle path.
Cole finally broke the silence. “Does that mean you’re happy you left?”
Happy? She looked at Cole and then back out the window. A tiny creek flowed along the road here. It looked happy, but Grace wouldn’t truly describe herself that way. But right at this moment, at least, she felt peaceful. “I’m relieved,” she said softly. And she was. She was also scared and worried and pissed off and bitter. But underneath all that, she was relieved. “I haven’t spent much time outside L.A., and I’m not sure I would’ve left on my own. But now, now it’s almost like I’ve broken free of something.”
It was. She was in Wyoming, after all. It was impossible not to feel as though she’d stepped out of her real life and was watching it from afar. You couldn’t get much farther than mountain wilderness, after all.
She couldn’t help feeling lost, though. For so many reasons, and all of them were her own fault.
“I know what you mean,” Cole said.
“Yeah?” She didn’t turn toward him. She didn’t want to meet his eyes. Not when she felt so vulnerable.
“I’ve felt that way before. Like you escaped something just in time. You can feel it brushing past you. Danger you just barely managed to dodge.”
Forgetting her need to stay removed, Grace turned to him with a frown. “That’s it, isn’t it? What did you step out of the way of?” She couldn’t imagine. He was a cowboy. He lived in Wyoming. He worked on land like this, with creeks and trees and blue, blue skies. She knew there were problems in small towns. Plenty of her friends on the streets of L.A. had come from small towns where a parent beat them or an uncle raped them or schoolmates tormented them or people just couldn’t find jobs. But Cole was talking about a whirlwind. A larger danger.
His face showed nothing as he stared straight ahead, but when he finally looked toward her, he winked. “You know. Bucking horses. Panicked cattle. I’ve managed to dodge a lot of things in my life.”
He was blowing off her question. Ignoring what they’d both meant. But that was fine. She wasn’t planning on telling him her secrets either. Better that he didn’t try to get close. The last thing she needed was a big, sweet cowboy confessing his emotional scars and wounds. In fact, the thought made her shiver with fright. She had too much to carry as it was. She didn’t want anyone else’s burden.
She should’ve realized that a long time ago. She was better off alone. Her own mess was too complicated, even without letting someone else thread their issues through it.
“Where’s your ranch?” she asked, ready to change the subject.
“I just work there—it’s not actually my ranch. But it’s not too far from here.”
“Can I see it?”
“Oh. Sure.”
Sure? He didn’t exactly sound enthusiastic.
“We’ll drive by on our way back. But right now there’s something prettier to see.” He took a right onto a dirt road that wound through the trees. Actually, it looked more like a trail than a road. Branches dragged over the windshield. Shrubs scraped the bottom of the truck. She cringed at the sight of the road falling away ahead of them and curled her fingers tightly into the door handle.
“Uh, Cole…”
He took the turn easily and she tried not to look down to see how far it dropped.
“Yeah?”
“Nothing,” she rasped, then yelped when the truck dipped abruptly into a pothole. She could deal with navigating the back alleys of a big city and all the scary things that lived in them, but this was a bit much. The truck rocked. She wanted to ask Cole to turn around, but he couldn’t do that. It would be a three-point turn into oblivion.
“Damn,” she whispered, closing her eyes. “Damn, damn, damn.” She didn’t like this. Someone else being in control of her life. Someone else deciding how close was too close.
The truck slowed to a stop. The engine cut off.
Grace opened her eyes, expecting to see something worthwhile. Something worth risking her life for. But all she saw were aspen trees and undergrowth that looked a lot like poison ivy. Then again, anything leafy and green looked like poison ivy to her, which was why she tried to avoid it.