Cole shook his head. “I’m not. You make me feel…out of control. Wild. I thought it was the same for you.” He watched her eyes, feeling as if he might break apart if he saw hurt in them. But he could only see himself, reflected back in the darkness.
“It is,” she finally said, and his mortification eased back a little. “I want you, Cole. So much. But I wonder if you only want me that way because of what I am.”
“No,” he answered.
“Because of who I am.”
“Fine,” he said harshly, his pulse quick with anxiety. “It is because of who you are. But not the way you mean. It’s because you’re beautiful and wild and brave and strong. It’s because you seem invulnerable, but you melt for me. It’s because I want you so damn much I feel like I need to bite down on a belt when you’re close by. Sometimes I can’t get deep enough or close enough. But other times…other times I want to touch you softly and you won’t let me, Grace.”
Her cheeks went pink and she looked away. Her makeup was gone, worn away by the day and the rain. She looked so young, as if all her defenses had vanished.
Cole reached for her, brushing his knuckles along her cheek. He tilted her face up, then slowly leaned closer. She didn’t pull away, and he brushed his mouth over hers. “Let me touch you,” he breathed, trailing his fingers down her neck. “Please.”
She shook her head, but as he dragged his fingers down to her breast, Grace sighed into his mouth and her hands wove into his hair.
Her response ramped his arousal up toward that now-familiar wildness. He knew she’d respond with her own wildness if he pushed her. He’d felt the violent need shaking through her. But that wasn’t what she needed tonight. So he touched her slow and soft, and she let him. Finally. She let him ease the last of her clothes off. Let him kiss her everywhere he wanted, until she was whimpering with need. And then she let him slide into her, careful and gentle, as if she were a virgin.
She said his name and dug her nails into his back, but he couldn’t be goaded. Not tonight. He made love to her. He touched her and let her feel the way he wanted to take care of her. Not because she needed him, but because she didn’t.
And in the morning, he took her home.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
“YOU DON’T NEED TO BE HERE,” Cole grumbled, pulling the brim of his hat lower as he slumped into the chair. He looked around the doctor’s office and found it suspiciously bare. What did the guy do in here? Just steeple his fingers and give bad news from behind his mahogany desk?
“I know I don’t need to be here,” Grace said. “I want to be here.”
He looked over his shoulder at the closed door, impatient to get this over with.
Grace took his hand. “It’s okay to be scared. Right? Isn’t that what you told me?”
“It’s fine. I know what he’ll say. I won’t be able to ride again. It’s no big deal. I’ll start classes in three weeks.”
“No big deal,” Grace repeated. “Sure. That’s why you couldn’t sleep last night.”
He shot her an exasperated look. “You weren’t even at my place last night.”
“I heard you pacing around after I left.”
“Maybe if you’d stayed, I wouldn’t have been pacing around.”
She rolled her eyes, but her fingers squeezed his. She stayed sometimes now. On the weekends, when she didn’t have to get up for work. She’d sleep until he woke her with his hands and his mouth. He’d finally seen the miracle of Grace waking up smiling.
“If he gives me bad news, will you dye your hair purple again to make me feel better?”
“God, you’re being a baby.” She took any sting away by kissing his fingers. “Anyway, you said you were getting used to the new hair.”
“It’s pretty,” he said carefully. It was. Beautiful, actually, but he wished he’d had a little longer with the purple. “If you’ve gone soft, I guess I’ll have to accept that.”
She might have bristled at that two weeks ago, but now he saw her mouth tighten in a smile she tried to hide. He’d tried to show her just how enjoyable soft could be. Not that she’d ever admit it.
The door opened behind them, and Cole’s thoughts broke off as if they’d been chopped with an ax.
This was it. He was ready.
“All right, Mr. Rawlins.” The doctor set down a laptop and pushed a few buttons. “I’ve taken a look at the images and the report.”
Her hand tightened in his with far more power than he would have expected. He almost smiled at the thought. He almost forgot that he was about to hear the worst news of his life.