m sure he’s worked hard to master. He makes it seem like it wasn’t that big of a deal that they didn’t capture my father, like there’s nothing suspicious about what happened. He reveals a truth to me, but that truth could mean nothing in the grand scheme of things.
“I didn’t do anything…” My voice trails off. “You didn’t need me.”
“You were the closest person to him,” Ciro says, watching me with unreadable eyes. “You might have information about him that would be helpful to us.”
The person closest to him?
Once, I would’ve agreed with that statement. Now, I don’t know.
I haven’t had time to grieve my father like a normal daughter would get to. I haven’t had time to process that he truly is gone. I didn’t get to go to a funeral for him—fuck, I don’t even know where his body is.
“I don’t know anything.” To my shame, my voice breaks slightly. “You know that.”
“Yeah. I know,” Ciro’s tone softens, eyes flickering over my face. Assessing.
“Why did you want my dad?” I ask, trying to bury the feeling of tears prickling at the backs of my eyes.
Change the subject. Bring it back. I can’t think too hard about the emotions of everything, not until I’ve escaped. Not until I’m back home, and can let myself fall apart in Brian’s steadying embrace. I don’t have time for that right now. I don’t have the emotional capacity for the breadth of my grief and confusion.
Ciro hesitates, flexing in the chair. “He had debts to repay.”
“Debts with Landon?”
The words the man spoke downstairs are still fresh in my mind. Landon Novak is Hale’s uncle. He was Damian’s other half, his second-in-command for years, and he was not a man to be fucked with. If my dad crossed him…
“He ratted Landon out. Right before you both disappeared.”
“He—” I blink. “What?” I can’t think of anything to say.
Why would my father be so stupid?
What would have possessed him to betray his family like that? And I don’t just mean me or my mother, but the entire syndicate. They were his family, once. A part of his blood.
I always thought we left Chicago after my mother’s death because he didn’t want to risk losing me. I was all he had left, and he wanted to protect me from the violence inherent in this lifestyle.
But I never knew that his final act toward his old brotherhood was one of betrayal.
Ciro shrugs. “We’re trying to figure out if he was part of that other group at the church.”
“But they attacked us,” I choke out.
“Again, if he was part of the other group.” He shakes his head. “It’s unlikely. But maybe he pissed them off somehow. He was no stranger to double-crossing.”
My stomach tightens into a knot as I consider everything Ciro’s said. He told me more than I thought he would, but now that I know, I almost wish I could go back to not knowing. Not knowing anything means there’s no room for hurt, and now…
“I don’t know what to do, Ciro.” Panic creeps through my voice as thoughts spin wildly through my mind. “I don’t understand anything anymore.”
Was my father still working with the mafia, even though he told me our days with them were over? Did he betray Hale’s family just to work with another group? It’s barely been a week since I was abducted, but in that short time, everything I thought I knew has been turned upside down. I didn’t think anything could knock me off balance anymore after everything I’ve been through… but I was wrong.
“I need you to go. Please.” Nausea rises up in me, making my skin clammy and cold. “I need to be alone, I need to think—”
And that’s the truth. I can’t do anything but think right now. If Ciro left me in this room alone, I know I wouldn’t be dashing to the bathroom to grab the phone, I’d be dashing the bathroom to bury my face in the toilet and heave up the contents of my stomach.
I don’t know why this feels like such a massive betrayal from my father. It’s just speculation. He could have been telling me the truth about running away, that we were really done with this world, this life. But he also could have been lying to me again, not trusting me to help him bear the burden of whatever lies he was carrying.
Whatever lies he carried to the grave.
“You can tie me up, it’s okay,” I say, my tone close to desperation. “Please.”