His jaw clenches, and he glances at the door. I don’t know why he’s debating. I’m not asking for much. I’m asking for him to do his job and leave me alone.
“Please.”
I never thought I would beg to be tied up, but fuck, I need to be alone.
“I don’t like seeing you tied up.” The rawness in his voice catches me off guard. “I don’t like seeing anyone tied up. Trapped.”
My throat dips as I watch him watch me. Darkness shadows his gray eyes, and I can practically feel the weight of his words settle on me. Something tells me that he knows what it’s like to be bound against your will.
A minute ago, all I wanted was to be alone. But seeing the expression on Ciro’s face, the look of understanding in his eyes, eases some of the tightness in my chest. He feels more like a kindred spirit than he ever has before, and it’s not something I would’ve expected from this silent, deadly man.
He carries the scars of pain I can’t even fathom, and seeing him settled in the chair by the wall—seeing that despite everything he’s been through, he’s still here—gives me the strength to believe I’ll find a way too.
I’ll find a way to survive.
To heal.
Silence stretches between us for a long moment, and I don’t say anything. I just wait, barely breathing. Finally, Ciro stands, the movement fluid and graceful.
“I was trapped for too long.” He walks over to the foot of the bed and sits.
There are still several feet of space between us. I’m tempted to pat the empty spot on the mattress next to me, to silently encourage him to come closer, but my hand stays rooted to the blankets, my fingertips flexing.
“The feeling…” He shakes his head. “I would think I was gone, far away from it. It would all blend into itself. Different kinds of pain. All the same in the end.”
He blinks slowly, as if it takes effort to keep his eyes focused on the wall of the bedroom—to keep himself from slipping fully into the past. Then he shifts slightly, moving a little closer as he looks down at the bed. I watch his hesitation before he leans forward and grasps my hand in his, sliding his fingers through mine.
It’s the second touch he’s initiated. The second time he’s taken my hand.
Warmth instantly spreads up my arm and through my body, tapping at the edges of my hardened heart.
“I could get away sometimes, into my own mind. But then I would realize where I was. What was happening. The panic was almost worse than the pain.” His hand squeezes mine tightly as the muscles of his throat tense.
“But you know what I’ve learned, Grace?” He says my name so differently than the way Hale spat it out that day in the woods.
He says it like a prayer.
Like a benediction.
My own throat tenses as I swallow. “What?”
He moves another few inches closer. I’m leaning toward him now, closing even more of the space between us, until we’re less than a foot apart.
“There are times when you need to be alone,” he says quietly, studying me in that way he has. The way that makes me feel like he’s seen all the way through me. Down to the very bones of who I am. “But there are other times when you need people. Even when you want to push them away.”
Time seems to stop for a split second, and I imagine I can feel the beating of his heart and mine between the palms of our hands. I’m lost in his eyes, in that dark blue-gray that’s so full of pain and secrets.
My body gets tangled up in a confusion of lust with the other men, but with Ciro, my heart changes its rhythm, wanting to be a steady beat to calm his demons.
What the hell have I gotten myself into?
I was right, that very first night they took me captive. I knew it even then, although I didn’t know why.
Ciro is the most dangerous of all four of these men.
Because he can knock down the walls around my heart with a gentle tap.
I know I can’t fix him. He’s been through something so fucked up that he might never be completely whole again. But the small amount of trust he’s given me, the vulnerability he’s let me see, takes my heart and grips it, squeezing tightly. My lungs have lost the capacity for any small amount of air, and my head spins with the effort to stay steady.