I have a few more cards written in my chemo-induced haze for your reading pleasure during subsequent birthdays. I wish I could have written you enough words to last a lifetime, but I hope you’ll cherish the ones I do send. And please know that wherever I am, I will always be with you.
Love, Dad
Molly was in tears. My own eyes felt watery. A feeling washed over me, and I knew exactly what I wanted to do.
I walked over to my phone on the counter and dialed my boss, Ken, in California.
“What are you doing?” Molly asked.
“Taking your dad’s advice and putting the person I love first. I don’t want any regrets, Molly.”
Ken picked up. “Declan. Good to hear from you. Any idea on your ETA?”
“Yeah. Um…that’s what I’m calling about, Ken. We need to talk.”
“What’s going on?”
I looked at Molly and came out with it. “I’m really sorry to do this to you, but I have to give my notice.”
Her mouth dropped open.
Ken was silent. “Really? What happened? You get hired by Integrity? I knew they were recruiting my people, but—”
“No. No, that’s not it.”
“Why are you leaving us, then?”
“I don’t have anything lined up, but my girlfriend lives in Chicago, and I need to be where she is. I love her and don’t want to be apart from her. So this is not a matter of money or anything else. It’s just what I know is best.”
Molly continued to sit there with her mouth hanging open. She clearly hadn’t thought that I’d quit my job to be with her. But this was the right choice. I’d already known that in my heart. Her dad’s letter simply gave me the final push.
“Well…” he said. “If I were your age, I might have given you a speech about this being one of the biggest mistakes of your life, but I’ve lived long enough to know sometimes you need to follow your heart.”
I smiled. “Thank you for understanding. I hope you know that if you need my input on anything having to do with any of my previous accounts, I will always be available to you. I also hope I can count on you for a reference.”
“Of course, Declan. You’ve been a model employee. I wish you the best and hope you remain happy with your decision.”
I looked over at my girl and smiled. “I have no doubt.”
After I hung up, Molly wiped her tears as she came over to embrace me. “I can’t believe you just did that.”
“One of us had to. And I would never expect you to leave your little sister.” I lifted her up and squeezed her tight. “I love it here, Mollz—because you’re here. This was the decision I ultimately would have made, but your dad’s words made it so clear that I couldn’t wait another second.”
She leapt into my arms again. “I love you so much, Declan. You make me incredibly happy. And I know my dad is smiling down right now.”
I shook my head. “I hope this is enough to prove once and for all that I’m not gay.”
EPILOGUE
* * *
Molly
It was Saturday morning, and Declan had just returned to the apartment. He’d gotten up early and left while I was still sleeping, so I was seeing him for the first time.
“How was it?” I asked, greeting him at the door by wrapping my arms around his neck.
“It was good. I met a kid today who reminded me a lot of myself.”
“I’m really proud of you for doing this.”
“Honestly, it’s helped me more than it helps them. It’s taken the focus off of me, and that can be a good thing.”
I gave him a peck on the lips. “You’ve come a long way, baby.”
Declan volunteered every Saturday morning at a teen crisis center in the city. He mentored kids going through tough times—many experiencing depression, something he understood firsthand.
“I think the biggest difference between me today and the man I was a year ago is that I don’t doubt myself anymore, whether I’m worthy of certain things. Now I just choose self-compassion, even if things aren’t certain. But you have to have a solid foundation to take that risk. You’ve been my foundation—the one sure thing that allows me to believe in myself.”
I kissed him again. “Well, it’s been my pleasure, Mr. Tate. You’ve brought a lot to my life, too, you know.”
After Declan quit his job to stay in Chicago, he was unemployed for a few months. We’d made the most of that time. He’d kept the apartment sparkling clean and constantly cooked delicious food. I’d used my vacation time and we went out to California so I could meet Declan’s family. It was definitely an experience getting to meet all of his sisters and taking a day to travel to San Luis Obispo to see Catherine at the convent. I’d laughed every time one of his sisters called him “Scooter.”