Sarah is crying now; I can hear her quiet sobs.
I don’t have that luxury though. I can’t cry.
My sobs have never been quiet. My sobs are howls. They’re loud. They have the power to break eardrums and windowpanes.
So I’m biting the inside of my cheek to keep my tears from falling.
I’m biting it until I feel the blood pooling on my tongue, all metallic and warm.
“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I made a mistake. I’m sorry I never told you. I thought I was protecting you from it. I thought I was doing it for your own good. I didn’t want anything to affect your game, your focus. And I was going to stop, anyway.”
“But I caught you first, didn’t I?”
Sarah winces. “I love you, A. I was just trying to spare you the pain. I was trying to protect the life that we’d built. I was trying to protect your heart. I…”
“You were trying to protect my heart,” Arrow says in a low, rough voice.
“Yes. Yes, I was. Please.”
He stares at her for a few seconds before letting her go and stepping away. “I want you gone, understand? Make an excuse and leave before this night ends. And don’t come back here for me.”
He’s ready to walk. He even takes a couple of steps away from her. But he stops just when he’s about to pass her by.
“You said you were trying to protect my heart. But you killed it instead.”
And then he walks away, his long steps lunging and determined, making him look somehow unstoppable.
Like he’s the wrecking ball that he told me he was, back in his office. A force of nature.
My Arrow.
My sun on a warpath.
As soon as he disappears into the night, I let out my first sob. I turn away from the window and fall on my ass on the floor.
I sob and sob but have enough presence of mind to cover my mouth, to not alert the whole world that I’m crying.
That my witchy heart is breaking because someone killed the heart of the boy I love.
His big, precious, darling heart.
How could anyone do that to him?
How could my sister?
God, my own sister.
The girl who’s perfect in every sense. How could she do that?
What was she thinking? I can’t understand it.
I can’t… believe it, even.
I hear her footsteps climbing up the stairs and I spring up from my crouched position. I don’t even take the time to wipe off my tears that are still streaming down my face. I whip open the door.
Standing at the landing, Sarah frowns at the suddenness of it all. “What –”
“You cheated on him,” I say in a strong voice.
I almost declare it to the empty, dark hallway.
She’s taken aback, her frown deepening, and for the first time in my entire life, I don’t like how smooth and flawless her skin is. She was crying a second ago, wasn’t she? Why aren’t there any track marks on her cheeks?
Why’s she so perfect even in her misery? Why isn’t her world falling apart like mine is?
“How did you… What?” she stalls.
“I overheard your conversation.”
She loses her frown at this and her lips curl up in a sneer. “You had no right.”
She’s right.
I had no right to eavesdrop. It was wrong. But I did it anyway. And I don’t care about right or wrong.
Not right now.
Not when my sister has so much explaining to do.
“You cheated on him,” I repeat.
Her eyes widen and she marches closer to me. “Can you keep your voice down?”
“Why?”
I don’t wanna keep my voice down.
I wanna scream and shout and kick and punch.
I’m so angry. I’m so fucking angry right now.
Fire roars in my gut. It roars and raises its head like some kind of an animal.
A dragon breathing fire.
Is this what he’s been feeling all this time? This… heat and fury.
“Well, if you heard everything then you know why.” Then she grabs my arm and digs her nails in my flesh, hissing in my face. “It was a mistake. I don’t want my mistake plastered all over the world. I’m not like you. I don’t revel in bad behavior. I don’t take pride in it.”
A flush overcomes my face, a flush different than the anger that I’m feeling.
A flush of embarrassment at my own betrayal against her.
But I won’t let it overcome me right now.
I can’t.
I can curse myself and punish myself later. Right now, I have to be strong. For him.
For my Arrow.
“Mistake? Cheating on your boyfriend is not a mistake,” I snap at my sister for the first time.
I never thought I’d see the day. I never thought I’d be mad at her for anything.
But then, I never thought she’d betray Arrow like this.
“Oh, and you know a lot about boyfriends, don’t you?” She grits her teeth.
“I know about lies. You lied to him. For months. You lied to me when I asked. You lied, Sarah.”