“Marin, do you have anything to add?” Donovan asked, breaking her from her ruminating.
Everyone looked her way. She froze for a second, feeling like the kid in the back of class caught daydreaming by the teacher. But she cleared her throat and tried to gather thoughts that had scattered. “Uh, yes. All I’d add is that I think you’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for, Bianca. You’re not alone in your fears. There are many women and men who are inexperienced and anxious about it, who let that insecurity lock them up for good. Most never have the guts to ask for help and tackle the issue head-on like you have. So no matter what happens with this guy, know that you’ve gotten over one of the biggest hurdles. You’re armed and dangerous now.”
Bianca broke into small smile. “I do feel kind of like a warrior these days.” She reached over and patted Lane’s knee. “And this guy has set a high standard, so I promise I’m not going to put up with some man being a jackass to me. Though, I really, really hope that Cal doesn’t turn out to be one of those.”
Donovan stood, the chair creaking beneath him. “We’ll keep our fingers crossed for you. And you know what to do if things don’t go like you hoped.”
Bianca nodded and they all stood. She gave Lane a hug and then put her hand out to Donovan to give his a quick press. “Thanks, Dr. West. I’ll see you next week.”
Everyone filed out, and Marin stayed behind until Donovan came back into the office. He lifted his arms above his head touchdown-style. “You survived!”
“I didn’t do anything but sit here.”
He lowered his arms to his sides. “Not true. You had encouraging words at the end, which showed Bianca you’d been listening closely. And you asked some solid questions.”
“I guess.”
He considered her. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. That was only your first one. We have a booked schedule today, so you’ll get lots more practice. And after we’re done, we can sit down and talk it through. Good points and stuff to work on.”
“There’s already stuff to work on, isn’t there?”
He unbuttoned his cuffs and rolled his sleeves to his elbows, revealing strong forearms with a dusting of dark hair. “There’s always stuff to work on. This is a journey, not a destination.”
“Thank you, Aerosmith,” she said, deadpan. Sarcasm would keep her safe. Sarcasm would make sure she didn’t focus too much on those hands or forearms or anything else on his body for that matter. “Any quick tips for the next one?”
He reached up and tapped her cheek, a featherlight touch that sent a shiver working through her. “Work on not wearing your feelings on your face or I’m going to start calling you Dr. Blush.”
She straightened. “Crap. I blushed?”
“When Lane told you about his job, your reaction was pretty much an open book. You looked scandalized and your cheeks got all flushed.”
“Shit.” She brushed her bangs out of her eyes. “I was surprised. I wasn’t judging or anything. I think it’s fascinating.”
“It’s okay. Just something to practice.”
“Got it.” She rubbed her lips together, trying to find the right words to address the other thing that had bothered her during the session. “And . . .”
When she didn’t finish, he lifted a brow. “And what?”
“What you said in the session . . .” She glanced toward the window, feeling all kinds of awkward. “I didn’t use you back then, just so you know. It wasn’t like some older-virgin plan of attack or anything. What happened just . . . happened.”
He sniffed, the amusement evident in the simple sound. “Elephant still wandering around, huh?”
She looked back to him. “Wounded but strong, apparently.”
“Let’s find a more effective weapon, shall we?” He leaned forward, his voice conspiratorial as he put his mouth right next to her ear. “Once upon a time, I hung out with this hot girl who was way too young for me. She was smart and funny and kept me distracted during a really shitty time in my life. We flirted, we laughed, and we had sex. I have fond memories of all three.”
Marin bit the inside of her lip, a tingling awareness weaving through her, his breath on her neck warm and silky.
“But that girl and that boy are not in this room.” Donovan straightened to his full height, his expression going grave. “The memories are just that. Life has happened in between, and we’re nothing but strangers now. I don’t think any differently about you than I would’ve if this were the first time we’d met. This is an absolutely fresh beginning. There is no angst, regret, or assumptions. Feel free to pretend it never happened if that makes it more comfortable for you.”
Pretend it never happened. Sure. That was probably a cinch for him. God knows how many women had made their way through his bed since. He’d been engaged to a celebrity for God’s sake. But how was she supposed to forget the one guy who’d ever taken her to that place? She nodded anyway, hoping her professional mask was intact. “Okay. I can do that. Consider it forgotten.”
His eyes creased at the corner, some strange tension there, but he simply nodded. “Good.”
She shifted in her heels and cleared her throat. “So what do we have next?”
“What don’t we have? It’s going to be a busy day.”