Nineteen
“Riv, what the fuck?” Shaw demanded, tying the drawstring on his pants and glancing over his shoulder to make sure the bedroom door had shut behind him. “You can’t just walk in like that. I told you to give me a sec.”
Rivers stared at Shaw, his expression horrified. “I always walk in here. You woke me out of a dead sleep. I thought you were having a stroke or something.”
Shaw raked a hand through his hair. “Maybe assume the ‘or something’ first and call me instead.”
“Right. I should assume you have a woman over because you never have anyone over ever and have sworn off sex. So yeah, I should just assume that shit.” He swept his hand toward the bedroom door. “And don’t ‘what the fuck’ me. I’m the one who gets to say that. Dude. What. The. Fuck?”
Shaw flinched and motioned for Rivers to lower his voice. “Can we talk about this tomorrow? I have a guest.”
“No shit. Have you lost your mind? Are you drunk? High?” Rivers looked around, noticing the discarded clothing near the couch, which apparently he’d missed when he’d first come in. He continued in a whisper-yell. “Are you aware you have Taryn in your bed? Long Acre Taryn. The woman you were in a panic over. The woman you moved your entire schedule to avoid.”
Shaw ran a hand over his face, his head beginning to hurt. “Yes, I’m aware. You’re the one who told me to get back out there and sleep with someone.”
He gave Shaw an are-you-kidding-me look. “Yes. Someone. Not…not her. She’s—”
“I know who she is, man, believe me,” Shaw said grimly.
“And you don’t think that’s messed up? You don’t think this could be a major problem?” Rivers linked his fingers behind his neck and squeezed—a stress habit he’d had since college. “I didn’t want to let her in the gym tonight because I didn’t want you guilted into this charity thing. I didn’t want you anywhere near this type of situation. But it never crossed my mind that you’d freaking sleep with her. After all this work to keep you hidden? And what if she finds out who you are? Do you have any idea how that will make her feel?”
Shaw took a deep breath, trying to rein in the anger that wanted to lash out. “She knows.”
Rivers’s eyes went round. “She… What?”
Shaw held the eye contact. “I told you I wouldn’t sleep with anyone who didn’t know my real name. She knows. I told her.”
Rivers lowered his head as if this information was too much to take. “Jesus Christ. All this work to get things set up here, and you’re going to blow it all up before we even get started.”
Shaw’s jaw flexed. “She’s not going to tell anyone who I am.”
Rivers scoffed, his head snapping up. “Not right now, but what about when you end things? What about if you mess something up? Piss her off? What then?”
Worry tried to creep into Shaw’s mind, but he shoved it down. “She’s not like that. She knows this is just…a temporary thing. She’s not looking for something more. She knows I’m in hiding and plan to stay that way.”
Rivers shook his head, a sad look in his eyes. “Damn, brother. I know you’re lonely and that this woman looks like a good solution. But this is a really bad idea.”
“Riv—”
“No, I’m not trying to be a dick, but there are millions of other women in the world. You shouldn’t mess with this one. It’s like playing with matches while sitting on a gas tank.” He sat on the back of the couch as though he was suddenly too tired to stand up. “What do you think her friends would think if they knew who you were? Her family? You think they’d be fine with her bringing you home to Sunday dinner?”
A sick feeling twisted Shaw’s gut. “Of course they wouldn’t. But what they don’t know won’t hurt them. This isn’t a get-invited-to-Sunday-dinner situation. It’s just…a hookup.”
Even as he said the words, he felt like a Grade A asshole. This didn’t feel like a hookup. Not at all.
Rivers shook his head. “A hookup is simple. A good time with a clean exit. No one gets hurt.” He glanced toward the closed bedroom door. “There is nothing close to simple about what you’ve gotten yourself into. You said yes to the charity thing, didn’t you?”
Shaw didn’t answer.
“Of course you fucking did,” he said with a scoff. “That’s how you got her into bed.”
Shaw’s fists clenched. “Watch it, Riv. You ever imply again that I tricked someone into my bed, we’re going to have a problem. And if you make Taryn sound like someone who would fuck me because I did her a favor, you’re gonna get punched.”
Rivers stared at him for a long moment and then let out a breath. “Right. I’m sorry. That was out of line, but you gotta realize this terrifies me, man.” He braced his hands on the edge of the couch, his knuckles flexing. “I haven’t forgotten how things were before. I worried I’d get a call one day that you were dead. Because I didn’t trust that you would care enough not to drive too fast or drink too much or watch your back on a dark night.”
Shaw looked down, the words like little pieces of glass in his skin. He hated that he’d made his best friend worry with those kinds of thoughts. Hated that he couldn’t say those worries had been unfounded.
“I know things aren’t ideal in this situation,” Rivers continued. “But it’s a whole lot better than what it was. I’ve seen glimpses of the guy I used to know. I’ve caught you smiling with your clients and sneaking in morning gymnastics routines. You’ve made jokes. Bad ones but jokes, Shaw.”