That was all it was because she could remember that letter word for word, and it was not her life plan.
On this day, August first, I, Rebecca Lindt, promise the Class of 2005 that I will not waste the second chance that I have been given, that I will honor all the people we lost by living my life to the fullest. Professional goals: I will get a law degree and graduate at the top of my class. After practicing law for a few years, I will run for political office and will fight for better gun-control laws and more mental-health interventions for teens. I will make a difference in the world. Personal goals: I will stay a virgin until I’m married. And I will marry Finn Dorsey in a Paris wedding. We’ll have two kids, preferably one boy and one girl, and a dog named Bartholomew, after my grandpa. I will be a good friend, wife, and mom. I will be happy.
The words had been the ramblings of a girl who was terrified, hurting, and racked with guilt. A girl who thought she could maybe repay her debt to the universe by living a life dedicated to important causes and who could will herself into happiness through some good-girl, TV-sitcom life.
Seventeen-year-old Rebecca had thought if she tried hard enough, she could go on with her life like she hadn’t been damaged by what had happened. As if she hadn’t been irreparably altered by it. Thirty-one-year-old Rebecca knew better.
“So some Good Samaritan helped you and the dog?” Liv asked, pulling Rebecca from her ruminating.
Rebecca shifted her attention to her food, trying to beat back the embarrassment that automatically appeared with thoughts of Wes. “Yeah. He ran over to help when he saw the dog attack. Turns out his brother’s a vet, so he was able to call him for help. I rode to the clinic with them.”
“Wow, that was really nice of them,” Taryn said.
Rebecca shrugged. “It was. Unfortunately, the guy who helped happened to be a former client’s ex-husband—one who I took down pretty hard in court. He didn’t realize who I was, but it was kind of awkward.”
“Ouch,” Taryn replied. “That’s bad luck.”
“Yeah. Luckily, he left my house none the wiser.”
“Your house?” Kincaid asked. “What was he doing at your house?”
Making me laugh. Driving me insane with want
. Kissing me back. Rebecca waved her fork dismissively but didn’t look her friends in the eye. “He gave me a ride, and I was kind of freaked out that the guys who robbed me could be in my house, so he came inside with me to check it out. And we’d picked up food, so I figured I should let him eat it there. But then he kind of asked me out, and I obviously couldn’t say yes and—”
“Hold up,” Kincaid said. “Honey, you knew who this guy was, but you got dinner with him and let him into your house?”
Rebecca pursed her lips. “It wasn’t… He offered, and I didn’t have a way home otherwise.”
“You could’ve called one of us,” Liv said. “You know you always can.”
“Y’all live an hour outside the city, and it was late. It just made sense, and he was being genuinely helpful. He was actually really nice and funny and…charming, if I didn’t think about the fact that he was a cheater. I kind of got swept up in it and then didn’t know how to get out of it gracefully. I ended up telling him he wasn’t my type.”
“Harsh,” Liv said, laughing.
“I didn’t know what to say. It just…came out.” And then I kissed him.
“Would you have said yes if you hadn’t known who he was?” Taryn asked, head cocked, eyes curious.
Rebecca shrugged and poked at her food. “I don’t know. I’m not sure how much we’d have in common. He’s kind of got that tattooed bad-boy thing going.”
Kincaid’s eyebrows arched high. “Oh. So he was cute.”
Rebecca straightened, her face warming. “I… That’s not what I said.”
“But he was,” Kincaid pushed.
Dammit, she was blushing. Indignation filled her. “Which is totally irrelevant because he was a cheater and that means he’s a jerk. And if he’d realized who I was, I’m sure he would’ve shown that lovely side of himself.”
Kincaid eyed her and sipped her mimosa. “Hmm.”
“Don’t hmm me, lady,” Rebecca said. “There’s no intrigue here. Yes, he’s hot. Fine. I can admit that.”
“Ooh, not cute but hot. Better.” Kincaid grinned wickedly.
Rebecca groaned. “I also know he stepped out on his wife and had anger issues in court. So, I’m thankful he helped me out last night, but I’ll never see him again so none of this matters anyway.”
Kincaid shrugged. “Probably not, but all I’m saying is that not everything has to be so black and white all the time. I’ve never seen you get all red-faced and evasive talking about a guy before. You should take those opportunities when they present themselves.”