She rolled her eyes but didn’t feel any malice toward Raul. She called him a smarmy bastard on the regular. Rebecca lifted her hand in thanks to the mediator as the woman escaped the room and probably headed to the nearest bar.
“Thanks. Have a good weekend.”
They shook hands and he followed the mediator out.
When Rebecca shut the door and turned to face her client, Anthony pushed his chair back, let out a whoop of victory, and patted his thigh. “Come here, boy.”
The dog scrambled to his feet and leapt into Anthony’s lap with glee. The giant poodle was way too big to be a lapdog, but Anthony didn’t seem to mind. He buried his face in the dog’s copper-colored fur, which really did look like the color of Prince Harry’s hair, and let go a litany of mushy endearments.
Prince licked his owner’s face and made happy, huffing dog noises. Rebecca crossed her arms and shook her head as she stepped closer, amused. “I could’ve won you a lot more money and the house.”
Anthony looked up, absently rubbing the dog’s neck. “I know.”
“But the dog is worth it?”
“Of course he is. Look at him.” Anthony cupped Prince’s snout.
Rebecca eyed the ball of fur skeptically. “Well, if you’re happy, I’m happy.”
“Well, happy isn’t the word, but relieved,” Anthony said. “Going to court would be too hard.” He looked down at the dog as if eye contact with her was too much. “Every time I look at Daph, even with all the anger, I can’t help but see the girl I fell in love with.”
Rebecca tilted her head. “Even when she’s calling you an asshole?”
“Yeah. I know that version of her I loved is not in there anymore, but I can still remember that feeling of when we first got together, that high. Love ends but it leaves…I don’t know, afterimages on you. Like the person I used to be still loves the person she used to be. I don’t want to have to see her in court and drag this out. I can’t watch that video again. It feels like having my guts ripped out fresh each time I see it. Like I’ve failed at something I thought couldn’t fail.”
Rebecca frowned. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” He leaned back in the chair with a tired look. “You ever have a moment you wish you could just go back and change? Like, I wonder what my life would look like right now if I hadn’t offered Daphne my umbrella the day we met, if I had just kept walking.”
A moment she could change? Rebecca tucked her hair behind her ears, her ribs cinching tight and her composure trying to falter. “No amount of wondering can change the past.”
Prince jumped from Anthony’s lap and settled at his feet, obviously exhausted by divorce mediation and philosophical conversation. “I know, and they say we shouldn’t want to change anything. The butterfly effect and fading photos in Back to the Future and all that. But would you change one moment if you could?”
Even though she tried to stop it, memories flashed through Rebecca’s mind like a gory movie. Thoughtless words. A boy seething with something sharp and dangerous. Because of her. Blood. Screams. The sound of gunshots. She swallowed past the dryness in her throat and ignored the phantom pain in her leg. “In a heartbeat.”
Anthony nodded solemnly like he was a comrade-in-arms. “Me too. I’d walk right by Daphne and let the rain soak her to the bone.”
Rebecca smoothed the wrinkles in her pants, trying to re-center herself, push away the ugliness. “If you’d passed her by, maybe you wouldn’t have Prince.”
Anthony’s staid face broke into a slow smile. “You’re right. And he’s the best.”
“He better be,” she said with a tight laugh.
He rubbed the dog’s head. “To be honest, this is all I need. I’d rather be broke than go home to an empty house. The past week that Prince has stayed with Daphne has been rough. There’s nothing more depressing than knowing no one is waiting for you at home. That no one cares if you show up or not.”
The words pinged through Rebecca, hitting places she’d rather not examine. She forced a smile. “Right.” She stepped over to pet the dog, who immediately buried his nose between her legs. She took a big step back. “Well, I think this guy will definitely be happy to see you at the end of the day.”
“Yes. I don’t like to brag, but I am his favorite crotch.”
Rebecca snorted. “High honor.”
“Indeed.” Anthony tapped Prince to get him to his feet and stood to shake Rebecca’s hand. “Thanks for everything. I won’t say it’s been fun, but at least it was quick.”
Sounds like most of the dates I’ve had in my life.
“You’re welcome. Sorry we had to meet under these circumstances,” she said and then walked Anthony out. Those were her standard parting words, but she meant them. People hoped to never need someone like her, and she found it a little depressing to know that this seemingly decent guy who’d loved his wife had ended up here, too.
But it was a story she saw every day. It was a story her parents had lived. Anthony had bought into the infatuation model that the movies sold everyone. Trust that rush of endorphins and attraction at the beginning and all will be okay. It won’t matter that the person is a completely impractical and incompatible choice. Believe the feelings. There’s magic at work.