His frown deepened. “No, you didn’t.” He stepped closer. “Look at me. Come on, Benning.”
She forced her gaze upward. So many guys called her Benning. But somehow when he said it, it didn’t sound like bro speak. It sounded like an endearment. That made her want to cry more.
“This doesn’t change the things I said to you that night. I still mean them. You said this was none of your business. But that doesn’t have to be true. This could be your business.”
She stared at him like he’d grown a second head. “Your relationship with someone else could be my business. What the hell, Ren?”
“You know what I’m saying,” he said carefully. He stroked his thumb over her knuckles. “How long did you watch?”
Her gaze slid away and her fist balled against her thigh. “Ren—”
“Were you turned off by it? Seeing us like that?”
“That is so not the point.”
She caught a quirk of his lips in her periphery. “Oh, I disagree. In fact, that’s the point I’d like to focus on most. I’ve been honest about being kinky. And you already knew Hayes and I used to share women. Yet, you said yes that night anyway.”
“I said yes to you,” she said, her voice coming out too sharp. “Not to being you and your boyfriend’s temporary blow-up doll.”
Though, hadn’t that been exactly what she’d fantasized about that night in the dark privacy of her bedroom? Being used and passed between the two of them. But the reality hadn’t included the two guys being so obviously into each other. She didn’t want to be a third wheel. She spent too much of her life already looking from the outside in.
“Hey,” he said, his voice gentle. “I would never disrespect you like that. And I know you said yes to me. That was all I was suggesting at the time, honestly. The Hayes thing was unexpected.”
“Congratulations.” The bitterness in her voice probably wasn’t fair, but so be it.
Ren sighed and his hands went to her shoulders. “Look, I know this feels like a bait and switch, and I’m sorry for that. That’s my fault. But can you trust me for a second?”
She met his eyes, defiance rumbling through her bones.
“I don’t want you to walk because you’re scared or angry. If you want to leave and tell me to go to hell, do that after you hear what I have to say. I like you . . . a lot. Every word I said that night was true. And I know I’m unconventional. Most people would and do bolt when they find out how I am, who I am. But I feel like maybe you know that feeling, too. Like maybe you can find something you’ve been looking for if you put the fear aside for a minute.” His palms were warm against her shoulders. “Come back to the office with me. Just for a few minutes.”
She stared, not wanting to give in, but the truth of his words and the nakedness of his expression were doing more to her than they should. He was handsome and rich and talented. He could probably check off all those boxes on most people’s wish lists for the perfect guy. But she could hear what he was saying. It was all smoke and mirrors, not the real him. The real Ren was like her. Different. Other. On the outside. He understood. Maybe you can find something you’ve been looking for . . .
After a few more seconds of tense silence, she gave a little nod. “Okay.”
He let out a breath and moved alongside her, pressing his palm to the base of her spine. “Thank you.”
When they walked back into the office, Hayes was sitting in a chair by Ren’s three-monitored workstation, elbows on this thighs and hands clasped behind his neck. He looked up when she and Ren entered the room. His eyebrows rose and he stood. “I’ll leave you two—”
“Sit,” Ren said, his tone brooking no argument.
Hayes sent him a look but lowered back into the chair.
Ren perched on the edge of his desk and guided Cora in front of him so that she was facing Hayes. Her position between the two of them, even with Hayes at a distance, was far too close to her fantasy from that night to convince her body not to react.
“Cora,” Ren said, his voice like the calm surface of a lake. “I know you’ve had some shitty experiences with guys in your life. You’ve been mistreated and used and unappreciated. I get how this looks, how this might appear to you. But I swear to you on my life, I would never treat you that way. And I would never lead you on or play with your emotions like that.”
She closed her eyes, the personal words far too revealing. She didn’t want them to see her like that. The truth was too mortifying.
“And I’m not a liar or a cheat. I’m telling you with one hundred percent honesty that when you said yes to me that night, I felt like a lucky son of a bitch. The thought of exploring kink with you, of showing you submission, makes me hot all over just thinking about it. And I can absolutely still do that. Hayes has given me his blessing.”
Her eyes popped open at that, catching Hayes’s watchful gaze. He gave a slight nod.
“But I’m also going to be honest and say that in a perfect world, I’d want you both in my bed. Together. Sharing. Watching. Touching.”
Some expression flickered over Hayes’s face—something hot and dangerous, but he quickly smoothed it. She shuddered and had no doubt Ren had felt it in his light grip on her shoulders.
“But you’re afraid of the unknown and letting your guard down, and Hayes is afraid of another woman betraying him.”