Ren’s mouth curved into a victorious smile. “Of course. But you know, if you just got laid, you wouldn’t need to do Thor’s workout every morning to shake off all that frustration. See how relaxed I am this morning? You should’ve come to that party with me last night. Lots of fun to be had.”
Hayes grunted, but the comment dug into him like a burr. Ren thought Hayes’s self-imposed abstinence was ridiculous. Maybe it was. His body certainly protested on a regular basis. He’d found ways to work around the need, accepting that nothing would ever be a substitute for the real thing. But anytime he thought about going there again with anyone for real, everything inside him locked up.
Things weren’t as simple as Ren was making them sound. Hayes didn’t have vanilla sex. It’d never done anything for him. Dominance and kink were inextricably twined with his desire. But that lifestyle was the one thing he could never allow himself again. Going to the party with Ren would’ve been the worst kind of torture. Seeing all his old friends from The Ranch, being reminded of the life he’d once had, knowing he could never have it again. It was too much to face.
Ren sighed when Hayes turned away. “You know, Grant asked about you last night. He said your membership is still yours if you want it. And there are submissives he trusts implicitly who—”
“No.” The word was a bark—loud and hollow in the cavernous garage. He didn’t even want to hear the words. His fists curled.
Ren was silent for a long moment. “And my offer still stands. I wasn’t so wasted that I don’t remember what I said.”
Hayes’s teeth clamped together. He didn’t need to be reminded of that either. He thought about it every goddamned time he looked at Ren lately. A few months ago, on one particularly rough night after getting out, he and Ren had gotten shit-faced drunk. And Ren had put it out there. If you can’t trust anyone in your bed, fuck me. Close your eyes and pretend I’m a submissive. Hold me down, hurt me, whatever you need to do. You know I can handle it. I’ve handled worse than you.
The offer had knocked Hayes right onto his ass. They’d never gone there despite Ren being openly bi and Hayes having experimented a time or two with guys when he was in college. He and Ren had shared submissives. Dominated them as a team. But he and Ren had always kept a clear line between them. When they’d met, Ren had been seventeen and so fucked up by the guy he’d been with that he’d expected everyone to use him, to treat his body like a commodity. Ren had made offers, but Hayes had sworn then that he’d never touch him, never take advantage, and he’d kept that promise.
He’d done it to protect Ren. But now he was keeping that line there to protect himself.
This friendship was his anchor right now. Unlike most of the other people who had called themselves friends, Ren had stood by him when he’d gone to prison, not just believing him unequivocally but fighting to get him out. He couldn’t screw that up and break that long-standing promise for the simple relief of slaking his lust and curiosity. Plus, he knew Ren was only offering because he was worried about Hayes. After what he’d been through as a teen, Ren exclusively topped and had never given up control to anyone again. He wouldn’t willingly offer himself to Hayes for any other reason than pity.
And Hayes would become a monk before he’d become a pity fuck for anyone.
“I’m fine.”
Ren didn’t respond immediately but Hayes could sense when he moved toward the door. “I’m leaving in an hour. You can follow me there.”
The music dialed up again, the thrashing cymbals matching the noise in Hayes’s head.
He didn’t look back. He dropped back to the ground, switched arms.
One. Two. Three.
—
Ren stood in the doorway that led from the garage to the kitchen for way too long, watching Hayes do those punishing pushups. The guy looked like a beast—strong, angry, dangerous. The music clung to him like a demon, pushing his movements in time to the relentless beat. Muscles flexed. Sweat rolled over his skin. Ren couldn’t look away.
From this angle, it was like watching a stranger. A beautiful, possessed stranger. Ren had, of course, noticed that Hayes was getting ripped in prison. Every time he visited, the guy seemed to have gotten harder both physically and emotionally. It’d been survival. Hayes was smart, and when facing down a twenty-year sentence, he’d done everything he could to ensure he was that scary motherfucker who other inmates would steer clear of. But Ren hated that Hayes still had to endure these torture sessions just to get through a day.
His body looked sick, sure. Ren would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the view. Hayes thought that the offer Ren had made was some sacrificial bullshit, but really, it was selfish. Ren had accepted long ago that despite them both being dominants and Hayes being predominantly straight, his friend would always hit his sexual radar. It’d been there from the start, and it was an imprint he couldn’t erase.
And really, Ren hadn’t expected Hayes to take him up on his offer. Hayes had made a promise to him when they’d first met all those years ago, and he didn’t break promises. Part of that comforted Ren. But the other part frustrated the hell out of him. He saw how Hayes looked at him when he didn’t think Ren was watching. The way his gaze slid over his body. Hayes wasn’t indifferent to him. But he couldn’t see Ren without seeing the past. And that’s what pissed Ren off.
He wasn’t some fragile, messed-up kid anymore. And yeah, he hadn’t been willing to let anyone have the control since that horrible year. The thought of putting himself in that position made him go cold inside. But with Hayes . . . with Hayes those thoughts had a different temperature, especially as he stood here and watched his friend shirtless and dripping with sweat. In his gut, he knew he could go there with him.
But none of that mattered. It was a no go. Hayes was committed to this new life of deprivation and isolation.
Ren had thought that when they’d finally gotten his conviction overturned that Hayes would be able to walk out of that prison and get his life back. The business that they’d built together would get out of the slump it’d gone into after the story broke about Hayes. Things would return to some kind of normal. But the man who’d gone in was not the man who had come out.
That conviction had taken a successful, proud guy who’d been able to command a room with just a look and turned him into this—a guy who didn’t sleep, who worked out to the point of obsession, and who closed himself off to the world. To Ren.
And he had no idea how to help.
But at least today, he’d gotten a yes from him. Hayes would keep his word and come into the office. Ren had stooped low and used guilt to get him there, but it’d worked. Now he just needed to figure out how to keep him there.
Ren gave Hayes one last lingering look. The man was a sight. Up. Down. Up. Down. Grunting like he was fucking. One hand behind his back. A man on an endless mission.
Ren’s cock began to take notice. He shook his head, adjusting the front of his jeans, and turned to go back into the house. He didn’t need to travel down that mental road again. It was one filled with roadblocks and dead ends. Instead, he needed to stay focused on getting Hayes back to work. The key today would be to ease him in. Not too much thrown at him on day one.
But when they arrived at the office later that morning, that plan got shot straight to hell with a booster rocket.