She lifted her head, giving him a look like he’d sprouted a unicorn horn. “You want to bring a girlfriend and a kid on a rock tour? Do you know how insane you sound? Do you even understand how confusing that would be to Rae? And what would happen after the three months?”
He could feel her slipping away, the walls going up. The night he’d originally planned had gotten screwed up by everything that had happened this morning. Now he was messing this all up, too. But he was taking Foster’s advice and leaving nothing unsaid, no stone unturned.
He leaned back over the edge of the bed and dug in his overnight bag. When he straightened again, he plunked a little box on the bed between them.
“I don’t want to take a girlfriend. I want to take my fiancée.” He opened the box to reveal the sparkling ring he’d picked out a few days ago. “And I want to make it crystal clear to Reagan the role I want to take in her life, too.”
Oakley stared down at the box with her lips parted and her face slack. “Pike, what the hell are you doing?”
Her voice was way too calm and still. Quiet in a dangerous way.
He took her hands in his, charging forward despite her less-than-enthusiastic response. He’d expected that. “Look, I know it’s fast. And yes, probably a little crazy. But you talked about your instincts earlier. Well, I have some, too. And the only time I’ve fucked things up in my life is when I haven’t trusted them.”
“Pike …”
“I know I’m probably not the type of guy you pictured having in your life. My job is bizarre and my family won’t be inviting us over for Christmas dinner. Your parents will probably hate me. But I think we both know enough to realize that there’s something different between us—something we shouldn’t just walk away from.”
Oakley looked down at their joined hands.
He gave hers a squeeze. “I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. Every time I think about leaving on tour without you, I get a knot in my stomach. And if you’re pregnant … Jesus, Oakley, how could you think I wouldn’t want to be a part of that process? So much happens during that time. Doctor visits and sonogram pictures and finding out the gender. I don’t want to hear that shit via email. I don’t care if we’re here or there, all I want is for us to be together.”
Tears filled her eyes, and she shook her head. “Pike … we—this is—we can’t.” She looked up at him, eyes shiny. “You are the best man for doing this. I can’t even tell you what it means to me that you’re offering this. But whether you can see it or not, this is about the baby.”
He swallowed hard. “It’s about us.”
She pressed her lips together and shook her head again. “You would never be proposing right now if not for this potential pregnancy.” She let her chilled hands slide out of his hold and met his eyes. “We would’ve ended our fling and gone on with our lives. You don’t love me, Pike. You just don’t want to walk away like your dad did.”
He stiffened at that, her words like ice water rolling down his spine. “You think I’m trying to fucking prove something because I have some kind of daddy issues? Christ, Oakley, I’m telling you that I want to be with you, that I want to marry you. And you think I’m saying it because of my fucked-up childhood? Why the hell would you say that?”
She picked up the ring box, closed it, and placed it in his hands. Her eyes were sad when she looked up at him. “Because throughout all of that beautiful proposal, you never actually said that you love me.”
“I did, I—” Hadn’t he?
She swiped at the tears that had escaped and gave him a resigned smile. “You didn’t. And that’s okay, because you shouldn’t. People don’t fall in love that fast. The pregnancy scare has just messed with both of our heads, made all of this feel more intense.”
The words didn’t resonate with him. He didn’t buy that logic. All he felt was the sting of her refusal, the pain of her rejection. Maybe she hadn’t fallen in love with him. But he had with her. And perhaps the proposal was rushed because of the baby, but he wouldn’t be doing it if his gut wasn’t telling him that Oakley was meant to be his. That she was the
one. That she was it for him.
But she clearly didn’t feel the same way, and he wasn’t going to be the pathetic guy who stuck around where he wasn’t wanted. He’d done what Foster said. He’d put everything on the table. Laid his goddamned heart out there and offered it to her.
She just didn’t want it.
He clutched the ring box in his hand. “I’ve gotta go.”
She frowned. “You don’t have to—”
“No, Oakley. I really do.” He climbed off the bed, every muscle in his body feeling tight. “I’ll stop by in the morning for the test. Get some sleep.”
“Please, don’t leave like this …”
He grabbed his bag and headed to the door. “Good night, Oakley.”
THIRTY-ONE
Oakley stumbled to the bathroom the next morning, unsure if she’d be able to perform for the pregnancy test. After crying all night, she doubted she had any hydration left in her.
She washed her face and tried not to look at her reflection in the mirror. The left side of her face was swollen from Liam’s hit and had started to turn purple, and her eyes now looked like she’d been punched there, too. She peeked out the window. The sun was just starting to come up. Pike wouldn’t be here for at least an hour.