Chapter 9
“I should’ve known. We leave you high and dry and you’re forced to resort to trawling for porn at four in the morning.”
Jace looked up from his tablet, finding Andre standing in front of the fading embers of the fire, hair sticking up and track pants hanging low on his hips, like he’d tugged them on as an afterthought. Jace hit the button to turn off his screen. “I woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep.”
“Guess I’m joining that club, then,” Andre said, sauntering over to the couch and tapping Jace’s legs to get him to move them so he could sit. “So what kind of deviant filth are you looking at?”
Jace sniffed and stretched to put the tablet on the coffee table. “The real sick shit.”
But before Jace set it down, Andre grabbed the iPad from him.
“Hey.” Jace lunged for it, but Andre leaned out of his reach.
Andre clicked the button, lighting the screen, and blinked for a few seconds as his eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness. Jace watched Andre’s expression change from playful to something else in the soft blue glow of the screen. He swiped through a few pages, then his gaze flicked to Jace. “What to expect when she’s expecting?”
Jace shrugged. “We should at least be prepared, right? I mean, it’s not like I know anything about this stuff. And I read up on the pregnancy test thing. She might’ve taken it too early. They’re more accurate after a missed period and—”
A slow grin crept onto Andre’s face.
“What?” Jace asked, feeling defensive for some reason.
“Nothing.” Andre shifted to stretch his arm over the back of the couch. “It’s just, earlier I was worried when you found out about the possibility on the plane today. You looked completely freaked out—not in a good way. I kind of figured you weren’t into the idea of a kid. Now I see I had it all wrong. You’re hoping it’s true, aren’t you?”
Jace sighed and scraped a hand through his hair. Was he? He hadn’t been able to think about much of anything since. Even during their erotic evening, in the back of his mind, he’d constantly been worrying that they shouldn’t be putting Evan through any kind of scene. What if there were positions she shouldn’t be in? What if any kind of pain play could put too much stress on her body? He’d played it safe and kept things light. And though he’d been turned on, he’d been okay with ending the night early because at least once she was in bed, she was resting and safe.
Underneath all that worry was also this little burgeoning flame, those thoughts of, What if there is a baby growing inside her? Their baby. The idea overwhelmed him. With fear. With hope. With a version of love and protectiveness he’d never experienced before.
Jace tilted his chin at Andre. “What are you hoping?”
Andre sent him a perturbed look, probably because he’d answered his question with a question, but he went on anyway. “Honestly? The practical side of me is all, Holy shit, how would this work? You know me, I think about stuff like health insurance and legal rights and how other people would treat our kid when they find out he or she has three parents who live together. I think about how the world is not set up for alternative family arrangements.”
Jace gave him a wry smile. That was Dre, the solid, head-on-his-shoulders cop. He loved that about him. Jace’s tendency was to charge forward first, ask questions later, so Andre was a good balance for him. “And the non-practical side of you?”
Andre rubbed a hand along the back of his neck. “Man, I won’t lie. I love our life. I love that we found each other and that this weird, wonderful thing works for us. But seeing Martine the other night, I can’t tell you that it didn’t make me wonder if there would ever be some intersection where the things I used to want and the things I love now could come together. I would’ve never been happy in some vanilla, traditional setup. God knows I made the right decision on that. No doubts there. But I also grew up in a big family and I love kids. I always pictured myself being a dad one day.” He set the tablet aside and met Jace’s gaze. “And what could be more amazing than having a child with you and Evan? Some little person who we created? I mean, fuck, that kicks me right in the chest. It makes me hurt.”
Jace blew out a breath, relief moving through him. “Goddamn, I know exactly what you mean.”
“Yeah?”
“Even if the test comes back negative, we all need to sit down and talk about this, be grown-ups about it. Yes, we collared her, but we’ve still been cruising along like a couple of college kids living for today and not worrying about the rest. Like we’re afraid if we poke too hard at the future, we’ll fuck up the present. But maybe that’s why the ground doesn’t feel solid beneath us yet. Maybe that’s why Evan was nervous to tell us she suspected she could be pregnant. Our roots feel shallow.”
Andre gave a little nod. “Agreed. But what do we do?”
“I have some ideas.”
“Care to share?”
Jace grabbed his tablet and shifted on the couch until he was next to Andre. Over the next half hour they discussed some options and came up with a few new ones as well. By the time they were done, the twitchy nerves that had kept Jace up half the night had settled. He leaned his head back against the couch and yawned. “The sun’s coming up. We should probably go back to bed.”
“Mmm,” Andre agreed, stretching and sending his muscles flexing in Jace’s peripheral vision. “Probably.”
Jace let his gaze slide over and drink in the view. Andre worked out regularly, keeping in shape for the police department, but it was more than the body that drew Jace’s eye. Jace had never been one to pin himself down with labels, but not until Andre had he ever seen a man as so damn fuckable. This guy had been his best friend for so long. He was his bro in every sense still, his fellow dominant. But there was so much more there now. Once Jace had acknowledged the attraction he’d been ignoring, had seen Andre’s submissive side, there’d been no turning off that desire. The guy made him hard. He made Jace want to do things he’d never craved before. And as Jace’s focus moved over that tanned skin and the trail of dark hair that disappeared beneath the band of Andre’s pants, he suddenly had a laundry list of cravings. He let his eyes close again.
“Or we could wave the white flag, miss another hour of sleep, and get ready for the day,” Jace said, not opening his eyes, a mischievous smile touching his lips.
“What do you mean?”
“Ev was right about that shower. Would be a shame to waste it. And I could use a hot one right now.” He flopped his head to the side to look over at Andre.