She closed her eyes and took a shaky breath, as if maybe that fear had truly been there. That worried Jace more than anything else. If Evan still thought they were going to pick up and leave one day, they definitely hadn’t done their job making her feel secure.
“I’m sorry,” she said again, and this time when she opened her eyes, they were shiny. “I just don’t know how to do this sometimes. I’m used to handling stuff on my own. Brave face. Bootstraps. All that shit. And what we have is so great. I didn’t want to drop a bomb in the middle of it—especially if it was a false alarm.”
Jace got up then and indicated that she should scoot and let him onto the couch with her. He sat and pulled her into his lap. She came willingly, curling into his hold, and he put a finger to her chin, making her look up at him. “You need to hear this, Evangeline Kennedy. What we have is great. And the reason why it’s so great is that we’re all in love and committed to each other for the long haul. You are stuck with us. Whatever curve balls get thrown our way. Do you really think either of us would bail on you because of a baby?”
She looked down, tears slipping down this time. “I know y’all wouldn’t leave me in a lurch or anything. But it’d be so complicated and everything would change and I don’t even know how we’d—”
“Shh,” Andre said, sliding next to them and reaching out for her hand. “What we’d do is figure it out. Yes, things would change—just like things change for any relationship when a child comes along. But why do you think those would be bad changes? Bella, do you realize how much love our baby would have? Most kids are lucky to get the unconditional love of one parent, but this one would have three.”
She peered over at Andre, hope in her eyes.
“And think how devastatingly gorgeous and smart our kid would be,” Jace added, trying to get her to smile. “I mean, with genes like these, we’re almost doing the world a disservice not to have kids.”
She laughed, though it came out a little choked from the tears.
“But,” he said, his tone going more serious, “if you’re the one who’s unsure about having kids, that’s okay, too. You went through a lot last time with Dahlia. If it turns out that you’re really not pregnant and you didn’t have that plan for the future, we can talk about that, too.”
She shook her head and swiped at her face. “If you had asked me that a few weeks ago, I probably would’ve said that I was okay never having any more. I’m happy with my life the way it is. And I’m terrified of change. But when I saw the negative on the pregnancy test, I don’t know . . .”
“What, bella?” Andre asked, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.
“I felt relieved. But I also felt this weird sadness. I know it doesn’t make sense.”
Jace’s heart squeezed in his chest. He so understood that. A few minutes ago when the word pregnant had been thrown out into the universe, the first feeling he’d had was blind panic, all the what-ifs and worries running through his head. He’d never really been around babies, so he didn’t know the first thing about parenthood. And they lived upstairs from his sex toy store—how would that work? Answer: It wouldn’t. And there were three of them. There’d be lots of legal stuff—especially when the baby would biologically be tied to either him or Andre, not both. And what if he sucked at being a dad? He definitely hadn’t had a good example growing up. What if he fucked it all up?
But when Evan had confirmed she wasn’t pregnant, he’d felt a punch of disappointment, like a balloon had deflated. Because in the few seconds it had taken to walk to the back of the plane, he’d also gotten flashes of good what-if images. Evan glowing and round with their child. A baby with bright blue eyes like hers or maybe big brown ones like Andre’s. A little hand tucking into Jace’s palm on a walk through the park. The thoughts had filled him with an ache he never knew he had.
Jace pulled Evan closer and kissed the top of her head. “Well, I guess there’s only one thing to do.”
“What’s that?” she asked.
“Enjoy our vacation for a few days, then have you take another test. Once we know for sure, we go from there. Together. Understand?”
She nodded and put Jace’s hand on top of her and Andre’s joined ones. “Yes. Together.”
“Good,” Jace said. “Now, let’s go find you something to drink and some crackers. Then I’ll break the news to you that our ski weekend activities are going to change drastically.”
“Ski?” she said, her face lighting. “We’re going to the mountains?”
He smirked. “See, you got it out of me after all. Yes, we’re going to the mountains. I know you’ve always wanted to go. But no ski lessons for you, doll. Not when you could be carrying precious cargo.”
She turned in his arms and frowned. “You do realize that being pregnant doesn’t mean I need to be carried around by servants and treated like an egg, right?”
Jace shrugged. In his head, that’s exactly what it meant. He was already overprotective, but this made him want to roll her in bubble wrap. And any pain play in the bedroom he had planned for this week was officially off the table.
“Yes, we know it doesn’t mean that,” Andre said, sending Jace a don’t be an idiot look. “But he’s right. There’s no way you’re hurling yourself down as much as a bunny slope if there’s even a remote chance you’re pregnant.”
She sighed. “Oh, Lord. If it turns out that I really am preggers, y’all are going to be a nightmare. I can already tell.”
Jace grinned and leaned forward to kiss her. “Yep. Now, how about I carry you to the front and feed you crackers?”
She shoved at his chest, laughing, and slid off his lap. “Don’t even try it.”
But before she got a few steps away, Jace stood and swept her into his arms. “Too late.”
“Jace!”
Andre stepped in front of them and pulled the curtain aside. “This way, milady.”