“The universe granted me mercy and I had a growth spurt at sixteen that, along with my diet, thinned me out some. But it didn’t matter to the other kids. You know how things stick. Though, to their credit, they did shift over to teasing me more about the stutter instead since that was still fair game.”
She took a bite of her sundae, remembering how he’d stumble over his words the more nervous he got. Part of it had been kind of cute and endearing because she could tell when she was knocking him off balance, but she’d seen how brutal the other boys were when the stutter would appear at school. She remembered wishing with everything she had that Kade’s mouth would just cooperate with him. “How’d you get past that? You can’t even tell that you used to struggle with it.”
He held out his spoon so she could taste his dessert. “When I moved in with my dad, he got me a top-notch speech therapist and had me see a psychologist. They think a lot of my problem was tied to all the stress at home and the social anxiety of being bullied or whatever. Either way, by my third year in college, it was almost completely gone.”
“And smooth and charming Kade Vandergriff emerged,” she said, trying to sound upbeat even though she knew he was glossing over the story about why he’d been in therapy. Gibson had made it clear Kade had been going through more than dealing with a stutter.
He shrugged. “I don’t know about all that, but I owe my father a lot. He didn’t have to accept me into his life like he did. He didn’t even know me. But he took me on like a project. Taught me about life, confidence, and business.”
“Are you still close?”
“Yeah. He retired a few years ago and spends a lot of time on the coast now, but we get together pretty often. I also have two half-sisters who live in town. One took over my dad’s restaurant supply business, the other is a teacher.”
“Wow, that had to be crazy walking into an entirely new family with relatives you had no idea existed.”
“Yeah, it was overwhelming. But after the initial shock, they took me in like I’d been part of the family my whole life. Maybe because I look just like my dad—that made it more believable. I eventually did the DNA test thing, but really, that was more for my reassurance than theirs. I’d never experienced that kind of open acceptance before. I mean, my mom loved me, but she had her problems. And I knew that when it came down to it, she’d always choose my stepdad over me. So for a while, I didn’t trust the Vandergriffs.”
She smirked. “I know how that is. When new foster parents were nice to me, I was more likely to be suspicious than thankful. Normal families still freak me out a little.”
“As if there
’s such a thing as normal.” He went back to staring at his cup for a while, lost in thought, and she knew his mind had drifted back to his own fractured family. He let out a long, tired breath. “So why are we here, Tess? You haven’t wanted to go out in public since day one. Why now?”
She watched him, trying to choose her words carefully. “Gibson kind of told me about your situation with your daughter and ex-wife.”
His expression turned wry, but he didn’t look up. “Gibson has a big mouth.”
“He cares about you.”
He leaned back in his chair, meeting her gaze head-on. “One doesn’t negate the other.”
“He told me I should break things off with you.”
He shifted forward so swiftly the table rattled. “He what?”
She wet her lips, that glare of his scrambling her thoughts for a minute. “He told me to set you free so that you could find someone to date for real or to step up and be on your arm in public.”
Kade’s expression darkened like spring storms rolling in over a formerly sunny day. “It wasn’t his place to give you that ultimatum. My problem isn’t yours. And even if it was, I think Gib’s plan is shaky at best. Having a girlfriend on my arm isn’t going to really prove anything. I don’t exactly have the best track record with long-term relationships. The court date is in less than three months. Who’s going to care that I’ve been seeing some chick for a few months? They’ll just think it’s another fling.”
She swirled her ice cream with her spoon, watching the vanilla melt and become one with the peanut butter syrup. Nerves were flailing around in her stomach like epileptic sparrows, but she kept her expression smooth. “Agreed. That probably wouldn’t matter.”
“So why are we even worrying about it?” He shoved a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth, almost as if he was in combat with his dessert.
She took a deep breath. “Because having a new girl on your arm won’t make a difference, but having your former high school crush and brand new fiancée who you’ve been dating in secret for six months on your arm is an entirely different matter.”
Kade went still and silent, spoon abandoned in his cup.
“Think about it,” she hurried on, worried that if she didn’t barrel forward, she’d chicken out and run away screaming for the hills. This was so completely off her fucking list and life plan that she may as well have transported herself to a new dimension. She knew the smart thing to do would be to break it off now, let him be with someone else. But after seeing him with his daughter today, she couldn’t bring herself to go through with it. Her heart had broken, watching him fall apart after his little girl had left. He needed someone to be there for him. He needed her. “I haven’t dated anyone in a year and you haven’t been seen with anyone publicly in a while, so the timing is totally believable, especially since we knew each other before.”
“You’re being serious right now?” Kade asked, something akin to awe in his voice.
“I know it sounds insane, but we’d only have to keep up appearances until your court date. And you know the local press would eat it up. My ex will freak the hell out, but the more I think about it, the more I might kind of enjoy that.”
“Tess, do you even know what you’re saying? What that would involve? It’s everything you hate . . .”
She glanced past him toward the window, staring out at the orange and red shafts of setting sun and absorbing his very valid warning. Yes, it was everything she dreaded. Playing a fake role for everyone else. The media turning their evaluating eyes on her and dredging up her past. All of it had her near the breathing in a paper bag stage. But once upon a time there was a boy who’d needed her to stand up for him and she hadn’t. “Kade . . . I saw you, when your daughter left. I saw how much this is killing you. And how much she didn’t want to go.”
He made a sound in the back of his throat, and she could almost feel him bracing to keep the grief from surfacing again, to stay the cool, calm Kade.