1996
“I’m starting to think this magazine just rewords everything each month and prints the same stories,” Tessa said with a huff. She was flopped across her bed in gym shorts and a tank top, flipping through some chick magazine and chewing her thumbnail.
Meanwhile, Kaden was sitting on Tess’s pink beanbag chair on the floor, contemplating if he’d lost his mind. He wondered would someone who had actually lost his mind even be able to contemplate that? But surely something had to be wrong in the universe because he was in Tessa McAllen’s bedroom alone at ten at night and there was no tutoring going on. “You should read Rolling Stone instead.”
“Maybe.” She glanced over at the darkened window then over to him. “I’m sorry about this, by the way. Now I feel like a dork for calling you. But I really did think I heard something outside.”
“It’s not a b-b-big deal,” he said, trying to sound casual but the stutter giving him away as usual. “I was heading out when you called anyway.”
“Yeah?” she said, her tone hopeful. “Where to?”
He shrugged. “Just out. My mom’s working overnight shifts all weekend, and my stepdad really goes full throttle when she’s away. I’m sure he’s halfway through the vodka supply by now, and I’d rather not be in his path. Even Gib is staying at a friend’s house.”
She frowned. “That sucks. Doesn’t your mom realize how he is?”
He sighed and looked up at her ceiling, which had posters of country singers and bands he’d never be caught dead listening to taped to it. “I don’t think she knows how bad it gets. He puts on a decent show for her, but she’s got her own issues. When she’s not working, she’s mostly in bed, zoned out on her pills for her back. I think she’s too depressed to bother doing anything about him.”
“My real mom was into pills, too,” she said quietly, drawing his attention from the ceiling back to her. She never talked about her birthparents, at least not to him. “She had mental problems or whatever and was supposed to take medication. But it made her feel crappy. Or, at least that’s what she said. She started doing the nonprescription stuff instead and kind of forgot she had a kid to take care of.”
He frowned, not knowing what to say to that. That sucks didn’t seem like the right response. “What happened after that?”
She looked down at the magazine and started flipping pages again, but he could tell she wasn’t seeing them. “One day she just didn’t come home. I slept in the closet with my Glo Worm toy because I was scared when it got dark. The neighborhood wasn’t great so there were lots of noises at night. I lasted two weeks at home alone until I had to go to a neighbor and ask if they had anything to eat. I’d run out of Captain Crunch and stuff to make cheese sandwiches. They called child services.”
“Jesus.” Kaden sat up, his heart dropping to his stomach. “How old were you?”
“Six.” She closed the magazine and tossed it onto the floor. “That was the last time I ever stayed home alone.”
God, no wonder she’d called him in a panic earlier tonight, begging him to come over and check the house when she’d heard something outside. Being alone like this probably terrified her. “When are you foster p-p-parents getting back into town?”
She was chewing her nails again and had to lower her hand to respond. “Not ’til Monday. Apparently, they decided I was trustworthy enough to stay on my own while they went to some work conference.”
“And now you have a guy in your room,” he said, trying to lighten the mood. “Breaking rules already.”
She gave him a little smile. “Not technically. They said it was okay for you to come over if we needed to study. I doubt they meant at night, but whatever.”
“What about Doug?”
She sniffed and the drawn look she’d been wearing lifted a bit. “Of course he can’t come over. I mean, they think he’s a nice guy and all, but they know we’re dating. So you know, high risk of shenanigans or whatever. Can you believe they actually use words like shenanigans?”
Doug was high risk. Kaden was no risk. Even her parents saw him that way. How frigging comforting. “Words like that were created to fuck with p-p-people who stutter.”
She grinned. “Right? I can barely say it. Stupid word.”
Her retort settled some of the tension strumming through the room. Over the last few months, they’d gotten to the point where they could joke about sensitive things without it being a big deal. It was nice to have that ease between them. “So are you going to break that rule—about Doug??
??
She sat her chin on her hand. “No. I’ve learned not to break rules. It’s not worth it.”
The concept was so foreign to Kaden, he could barely put together a response. “Seriously?”
She laughed at what must have been his stricken expression. “If you break the rules, your parents get pissed off. I break the rules, the parents can give me back. What I have here is way better than what I’ve had in the past, so I’m not going to screw it up.”
“Damn, that kind of sucks.”
She gave a little shoulder scrunch as if it was no big thing. “It’s not that bad. I kind of like knowing what’s expected of me. If I obey curfew, go to church on Sundays, and help around the house, they’re happy. That’s way better than trying to figure out what the hell someone wants from you. The last place I was at, the rules were on like some sliding scale with each kid getting different versions. Half the time I got in trouble, I didn’t know what the heck I’d done wrong.”
“Yeah, that’s kind of how my house is. My stepdad changes rules all the time, and it’s always the opposite of whatever I’m doing. I’ve given up trying and just stay out of his way as much as possible.”