“You guys are killing me. I know you’re happy and in love and apparently rock each other’s world, but take pity on the girl in the other room who doesn’t have some sexy man heating up her sheets.”
Daniel sat next to her and put his arm around her. “I’m sorry, sweets. We drank a little too much celebrating the TV deal and got carried away. We didn’t mean to keep you awake.”
“But look.” Marcus lifted a steaming cup from the side table. “I went out and got your favorite fancy coffee for you. Does that help?”
“Marginally.” She sighed and let her head rest against Daniel’s shoulder.
“Is everything else okay?” Daniel asked. “You never miss a meeting, even if you didn’t get a lot of sleep.”
“I’m fine.”
Daniel rubbed her bare arm and looked down at her, his all-knowing brown eyes evaluating her. “Are you sure that’s all? You know if that new medication isn’t working, I can talk to Dr. Barnes about getting you something different.”
Oh, great, here we go. Daniel had been her best friend for too long, and paired with his psych degree, he was a formidable force at poking past her shields. “I don’t need a different medication.”
She didn’t want any medication, for that matter. She’d weaned herself off those horrid antidepressants three months earlier. But she hadn’t quite told Daniel that part yet. She’d planned to first prove how well she was doing off them before breaking the news to Mr. Overprotective. Unfortunately, her behavior last night wasn’t exactly a billboard advertisement for mental stability.
“We saw the empty tequila bottles,” Marcus added, his tone gentle. “It’s not like you to drink like that.”
“Oh, my God. Would you two just stop?” She shrugged from beneath Daniel’s grasp with a huff and rose from the couch, grabbing her coffee from Marcus on the way up. “Seriously, guys, I’m not in the mood for Freud and his trusty sidekick. I couldn’t sleep and listening to you guys had me all keyed up. So I had a few drinks and took a walk on the beach in lieu of a cold shower. That’s all.”
She walked to the glass doors that led to the balcony and stared out at the beach. The stretch of sand that had been so deserted just a few hours earlier was now filled with families and children, happily playing in the surf. She pressed her fingers against the glass, feeling so far removed from that world that the glass may as well have been made of impenetrable steel.
“Ah, the truth reveals itself,” Marcus said from behind her, his tone playful. “That ridiculous vow of celibacy is finally getting to you, isn’t it? I told you it was unnatural.”
She ignored him. Blatantly.
“Is that it, Evan?” Daniel asked. “Are you lonely? I know things have been crazy with this seminar tour and we haven’t been able to spend as much down time together.”
She didn’t turn around, just spoke to her own reflection in the window. “How can I be lonely? I’m always with two men.”
“That’s not the same,” Marcus said.
“He’s right,” Daniel agreed. “We both love you and are so happy you’re with us, but maybe you need to think about finding some physical outlet. It would be good for you.”
She shook her head and turned around. “You want me to get a lover?”
Daniel frowned, his dark eyebrows dipping low. “You know you have that option. When we agreed to this arrangement, I never intended for you to give up sex. That’s been your choice.”
The arrangement. She guessed that was what they were calling it now. Daniel had saved her life and her sanity when they were on the streets. She owed him everything. And she’d never had someone she could count on so wholeheartedly in her life. So she’d readily agreed to do whatever it took to help him with his crazy business idea. But she hadn’t known at the time she’d been signing up to live a lie.
The first radio station manager who’d considered Daniel for a job had told him he couldn’t put Daniel on the air as a relationship guru if he was openly gay. He said—right or wrong—there was no way people in Fort Worth were going to take marriage advice from someone who couldn’t even legally marry.
Evan had wanted to flip off the whole system and move to someplace more open-minded like Austin or maybe even California. But they hadn’t had the money to do that then, and Daniel had been so desperate for a break that he’d come up with the arrangement.
Most of the time she was perfectly content with the decision. She’d never had so much stability in her life. And she was with a man she loved and could trust—even if she would never sleep with him.
Or anyone the way things were going.
“Yeah, well, I’m sorry if it’s not exactly tempting to go jump in bed with some guy who’s totally cool with me cheating on my fiancé.” Evan shuddered. “The kind of sleaze ball who would be okay with that kind of thing is not someone I’d want to get horizontal with.”
Daniel sighed. “I know it’s not ideal, but you have to work with us here. I can’t risk you telling someone the truth. The minute the relationship goes wrong, the guy could blow the whole thing open. Then, all three of us are screwed.”
She groaned. “I get it, okay.”
“Do you? It seems like over the last few months you’ve lost sight of why you agreed to do this in the first place. Don’t forget what it was like before all this, Evan. What it could be like again if we’re not smart.”
She scoffed. Forget? Yeah, right. She’d love to fucking forget. But being on the streets and not knowing if you’d eat from day to day wasn’t something that easily left the memory. “Don’t be an asshole. Believe me, I know why I’m here.”