He led her to an armchair then sat down on the couch next to Jace, leaving her alone to face the both of them. Andre took the remote control from Jace’s hand and clicked the TV off. Jace didn’t stop looking in that direction. “You don’t have to worry about the information going public. I took care of things with Diana.”
Meaning he’d paid that wretched woman. Which made Evan feel even more like shit. “Thank you.”
Quiet filled the room, the airy loft filling with the thick sludge of silence.
She set her purse on the floor and then laced her fingers in front of her in her lap, staring at her hands like they held the script on how to say the right thing. They didn’t, so she went for the only thing she could say. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you, Jace.”
He winced, closed his eyes. “You told me that night you were on the pill. I would’ve never—”
She shook her head. “I was on it. I didn’t know you had to take it longer than a month for it to be effective.”
He looked at her finally, grief not anger shifting his features. “Why didn’t you come back to me, Ev? I would’ve helped you. Would’ve given you . . . and our baby whatever you needed.”
The hurt in his voice was like tiny particles of glass digging into every vulnerable spot inside of her. “You were nineteen. And you were . . .”
His lip curled. “Go ahead. Say it. I was what? Irresponsible? A fuckup? The guy who took advantage of you because he didn’t know how to keep his dick in his pants? Believe me, it’s nothing I don’t already know.”
“No,” she said, her voice sharper than intended. “I loved you, dammit, and you were on your way to being something. I wasn’t going to be the person to screw that up.”
He scoffed. “Yeah, ’cause look how great I turned out, right?”
She held out her hands. “You did turn out great! Look at what you’ve built for yourself, the man you’ve become.”
“I’m a guy who owns a sex shop, Ev. Who’s been disowned by his family. And who is apparently a deadbeat dad who didn’t even know I had a child out there. Yeah, some man. No wonder you’d rather marry Daniel.”
“No, Jace. My choices were mine. Sleeping with you. Running away. I knew you wouldn’t have turned your back on me if I had come to you pregnant. But”—sadness choked her—“my whole life since I went into foster care was about people pretending to care about me. Out of obligation. Because there was paperwork and money exchanged. I couldn’t bear to have you be one of those people.”
“God, Evan, it wouldn’t have been like that—”
“You know that pregnancy saved my life,” she said, cutting him off. “My depression was out of control long before I slept with you. You were right to be worried when you found my scars. There wasn’t a day that passed back then that I didn’t cut. Not a week went by without me wanting to end it all.” Tears finally made it past her resistance and tracked quietly down her cheeks. “Knowing that baby was growing inside me kept me putting one foot in front of the other. Gave me a reason to stick around.”
The green in his eyes went shiny. “What happened to our baby, Ev?”
“I found an adoption agency. Lied and told them I didn’t know who the father was. They helped me with my doctor bills and some of my living expenses. It’s what allowed me to save up money to escape the guy I was taking photos for.” She swiped the moisture from her cheeks and leaned over to pull an envelope from her purse. She sat it in her lap, smoothing a folded edge. “Her name is Dahlia. And she’s gorgeous and smart and . . . happy.”
* * *
The sound of his daughter’s name reached into Jace’s psyche and sliced through all the tethers holding his emotions in control. He choked on the knot of grief that filled his throat. He had a child. One he’d never know. Never get to hold. Or tell he loved.
The knowledge swamped him, leaving him speechless, gutted.
Andre laid a steadying hand on Jace’s shoulder, a silent pillar of support.
Evan pushed forward when she saw Jace wasn’t going to respond, her voice as shaky as her hands. “I placed her with a couple who lives in Oklahoma. They never adopted any other children, so she’s the center of their universe.” She wet her lips and set the envelope she’d been holding on the coffee table. “They send me pictures every few months.”
Jace couldn’t move. There was no way he could handle looking at a photo of his daughter right now. He raised his gaze to Evan, who looked bruised and battered with her own emotions. He wanted to be angry with her. To lash out. She’d taken away his chance to know his child.
But all he could feel was sadness over the paths they’d taken, over the too harsh consequences for a simple mistake of youth. “Does she have everything she needs?”
Evan’s throat worked as she swallowed. “She has love and safety. Her parents are middle class, so they have the same financial concerns any family would. I’ve been saving everything I’ve earned over the past few years and have put it into a college fund for her. It’s not much, but I figured once Daniel’s show started, I’d be able to put enough in there to cover her through all her schooling.”
He frowned. “So your arrangement with Daniel was more than just obligation to him.”
She touched her left ring finger, that fucking engagement ring still encircling it. “I’d never be able to earn enough money in time on my own.”
“Dahlia’s college will be covered,” he said, his tone leaving no room for her to argue.
“What? No, Jace. I know your business—”