She shook her head against Andre, the sobs continuing to wrack her like she was some delirious lunatic.
Jace kissed her knuckles. “It’s okay, just let it out, sweetheart. This can happen sometimes.”
Andre rolled to his side, taking her with him, and Jace stretched out along her back, spooning her. With soft caresses and soothing words, both men held on to her, letting her go through whatever craziness had taken her body and mind hostage until she didn’t know which was more frightening—that she was crying for the first time in years or that she was happy.
SEVENTEEN
Jace sank onto the couch across from Andre. “She’s sleeping.”
Andre was sitting forward on the loveseat, his elbows on his knees, fingers steepled. He nodded, though he looked lost in thought. “That’s good.”
Jace ran a hand through his towel-dried hair. The shower hadn’t cleared his mind like he’d hoped. It’d only left him more worried. And Andre looked to be on the same mental path as he was. “Seemed like more than just a reaction to subspace, didn’t it?”
Andre sighed. “I don’t know. I’ve seen people get emotional afterward, but it felt like more. Yes.”
Well, wasn’t that always the theme with Evan? Everything always felt like more. More intense. More important. More special. He glanced at Andre, debating whether or not he should share what he knew about Evan. Share the fear that wouldn’t stop tapping at the back of his brain. If they were going to continue doing this with her, Andre needed to know.
Jace blew out a breath. “She used to have emotional problems . . . as a teenager. Maybe something like this is too much for her to handle.”
Andre’s gaze lifted. “What kind of problems?”
Jace held his stare. “The night I slept with her, I found healing scars on her stomach. Some old, some new. Deep cuts. All in a perfect alignment.”
Andre winced. “Christ.”
Jace sank against the couch cushions, the weight of the memory making him feel tired. “I was so freaked for her when I figured out what she was doing, and then I was so fucking pissed at myself for falling into bed with her. We were close then and I should’ve seen that she needed help, that she was lost. But I was too damn preoccupied with how much I wanted her to realize anything was wrong. Dude, she told me she loved me that night, and I fucked it up completely.”
Andre rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s heavy stuff to process, especially at nineteen.”
“We had this perfect night in bed. The lights had gone out from a summer storm, and the whole evening seemed to bring us to some other world where reality didn’t exist. But while we were lying there afterward, the electricity came back on, and I saw her scars. I panicked and backpedaled like a damn coward. Told her that I should’ve never touched her, that I had drunk too much and made a mistake, that she needed to tell my mom what she was doing or I was going to say something for her.” He tilted his head back and stared at the wood-beamed ceiling. “Then my parents came home unexpectedly and found us together, still half-naked. My dad kicked me out of the house for good that night and told me he would report me for statutory rape. Evan disappeared before brunch hit the table the following morning.”
“God, man. No wonder you were relieved to see that Evan was okay. It had to be brutal not knowing where she was or if she was all right.”
“You have no idea.” Jace had spent months not sleeping, always carrying around the knowledge that wherever Evan was, it was his fault. His parents had asked him to look out for Evan when she’d come to live with them, and he’d been determined to show his father that he could be more than the family screw-up. He’d befriended Evan, gained her trust, had made her feel safe in a new place. Then after all of that, he’d still gone and proven his father right. He’d fallen for a girl he didn’t have any right to, one who needed a friend not a lover.
“Did your dad actually turn you in?”
He sniffed. “Of course he did. Bill Austin doesn’t make idle threats. But I denied it and they couldn’t find Evan, so I was never charged.”
“She saved you by leaving.”
Jace lifted his head. “Yeah, talk about guilt. But jail probably would’ve been better than the nightmares I conjured up wondering what had happened to her.”
“She hasn’t told you anything since she’s been here?”
“No. We agreed to no past. I’m not sure I want to know.” His cell phone vibrated from the spot where he’d left it on the dining room table. He ignored it. “She seems like she’s got it together now, but there are shadows behind her eyes. And after the breakdown she had in there, I’m not sure what to think.”
“She was exorcising something. I don’t think it was a bad thing.” Andre propped his feet on the coffee table. “But I can tell you one thing for sure: If Dr. Dan is vanilla, Evan is signing up for a life of frustration. I’ve never seen someone as green as she is take to the sub role so well. Vanilla is not going to satisfy her.”
“Don’t give me another reason to want Dr. Dan out of the picture.” Jace stood and paced to the window at the front of the cabin. “You’re supposed to be the one reminding me why I shouldn’t try to shoulder in on another guy’s woman. Especially a guy who’s about to give Wicked a much needed injection of cash flow.”
“Watching me with her didn’t break the hold she has on you?” Andre asked, his words measured.
Jace closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the window. He’d gone into that bedroom anticipating that seeing Evan with someone else would solve his problem. But it had only made it worse. Seeing her give herself over to the two of them, even watching Andre dominate her had gotten to him in a way that ménage never did. He tapped his head against the glass. “It only made me want her more.”
The couch squeaked as Andre shifted, and Jace vaguely registered the sound of his cell phone buzzing again. “And having me there, too?”
“Felt right.”