Papers shuffled, like he was turning the page of a notebook. “I talked to someone who’s a member and found out that The Ranch does hire attendants and pays them well. A person gets a bonus of ten grand when he or she completes the intense training program, which apparently involves a few weeks of total immersion in each side of the D/s relationship.”
“Wow, that’s a lot of money.”
“Yeah, no kidding. It could be pretty tempting for someone like Kelsey.”
She tucked her legs beneath her. “So how do I find out if she’s taken a job there?”
He sighed. “That’s the problem. The place is like Fort Knox. The only way you’re going to find out is if you go there yourself and look for her. My friend said he could probably get you in as a guest.”
She swallowed hard. “How would that work?”
“They don’t allow doms to come in as guests, only as full members, so your only option is to go in as a sexual submissive. You would have to be willing to submit to a member.”
Her fingers curled into the twisted blanket on the couch, the material still damp from her sweat-inducing nightmare. A bone-deep shudder went through her. “Reid, I don’t… I can’t… do that.”
The line went quiet, and she wondered if the call had dropped, but then he took a breath. “I could go with you. Save you the stranger part.”
Her throat seemed to close. Not just submit, but submit to Reid? The idea sent her brain and body into a tailspin. Her gaze darted to the picture on her side table—the last one she and her sister had taken with their mom. Before the murder. Before the trial. Anger stirred in her belly.
“Brynn?”
“No,” she bit out, her voice finally returning. “No fucking way.”
He snorted. “Calm down, LeBreck. It was just an idea. If you’d rather hand yourself over to some stranger, I’m sure there will be many at The Ranch happy to oblige.”
She closed her eyes, bile burning the back of her throat. No way would she survive either of his suggestions. “Let me make a few more calls. I’ll let you know if I need your friend’s help.”
“You know where to find me.”
“Why’d I even bother?” Brynn hung up her office phone and rubbed her forehead, a piercing headache hatching behind her eyes. Two days with hardly any sleep, and her body was no longer responding to caffeine.
A light tap on her open door made her lift her gaze. Mel stepped into her office, lines of concern creasing her forehead. “Still no word from your sister?”
Brynn shook her head. “I just keep calling her like all of a sudden she’s going to come to her senses and answer her phone.”
Mel plopped into the chair across from Brynn’s desk. “So what now?”
Brynn sighed, her shoulders sagging. “I have no idea. I’ve talked to everyone I can think of, and I can’t even officially report her missing to the police until tonight.”
“What about Reid’s friend? Have you given any more thought to trying to get into that resort? Sounds like a good lead.”
Her stomach flipped over. “Mel, I don’t know if I could pull that off. I thought I was past all this crap. I did the therapy, took the self-defense classes, but the minute that guy put his hands on me the other night, the panic sucked me in. I was completely useless.”
Mel eyed her for a long moment, and Brynn could almost hear the gears grinding in her friend’s head.
Brynn pursed her lips. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“What if…” Mel said, then waved her hand. “Never mind.”
“Oh, no,” Brynn said, shaking her head. “Just say whatever it is you’re thinking. It’s not like you’ve ever held back before.”
She leaned forward and straightened the papers in Brynn’s outbox, adeptly avoiding eye contact. “I don’t know, it’s just, maybe this is exactly what you need, you know? Exposure therapy.”
Brynn stared at Mel as if her friend had sprouted antlers. “Are you being serious? Exposure therapy?”
She shrugged, but still didn’t raise her eyes.
“Don’t you think turning myself over to some stranger’s sexual demands is a bit of an extreme prescription? I was raped, Mel. It’s not like I’m trying to kick a fear of spiders or something.”