I should confess. Kat needs to know how I feel about her. She’s entering into this thinking that we are just friends when we have become so much more. But I chicken out once again. Every time I come close to telling her how I feel, nothing comes out. The fear of losing her sets in, making me numb on the inside.
Is there ever a good time to tell your best friend that you are in love with them? Probably not.
Chapter 6
Junior Year
Kat
Between our hockey schedules and schoolwork, we had to wait three weeks to plan our sex date. I still can’t believe I had the nerve to ask Dean to take my virginity. But it should be Dean. When I’d asked him, the question rolled off my tongue, confirming I was making the right decision. Still, I am so damn nervous my palms are sweating.
The elevator ride up to our hotel room was quiet and awkward. Long periods of silence between us never meant a thing—until today. Even Dean looked anxious from the moment we parked in the garage. In fact, he still does. I know he has reservations about sex affecting our relationship. I do, too.
Dean has trouble with the card key to our room, jamming it into the reader several times before the light turns green. He pushes open the door, and we step inside.
“It’s not the Peninsula,” he says, dropping our bags on the floor, “but it will have to do. I wish I could afford a better hotel, something more like what you are used to.”
Dean worked extra shifts at the pizza shop on campus to afford this hotel. He used his mother as an excuse for the overtime, but I know I was the reason. And I feel bad because I have the means. Everything comes so easy to me, while Dean has to bust his ass to get it. He never lets me pay for anything on principle alone. His mother raised him well.
I place my palms on his chest. “We have a view of the Camden Waterfront out our window. The setting doesn’t matter. All I care about is that I am here with you.”
He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and smiles. “I’m glad you asked me instead of some stranger. You were right about regretting my first time. Mine was an older woman I barely knew. I wish it had been with someone I love. I wish it had been with you, Kitten.”
His words bring tears to my eyes that I desperately fight to keep at bay. He wipes them away with his thumb, before leaning in to plant a kiss on my lips.
Nervous about getting naked in front of Dean, I suddenly feel vulnerable. But it’s the good kind of nerves that get the blood pumping and my heart pounding. His peck on the lips turns into him lifting me up and pressing my back against the wall. I hook my legs around him and wrap my arms around his neck.
As Dean explores my mouth with his tongue, his hands roam, tracing over every surface of my body. Every kiss makes me wet in anticipation, his touch causing my body to tremble with need. I have never wanted something so much in my entire life.
For a split second, I had regretted asking Dean to have sex with me, mostly out of fear that he would turn me down. But this is hands-down the best decision I ever made. We share everything, so why not our bodies? Over the past few years, I have formed a bond with Dean that no one can break.
Once our lips separate, I have trouble breathing. My head buzzes from the high Dean has provided me. A beat passes between us, where Dean studies my face, before setting me back on the ground. He tugs at the seam of my shirt, and I raise my arms as he pulls it over my head, throwing it on the floor behind him.
Dean takes his time undressing me, and with each piece of clothing he removes, he kisses every inch of my skin. By the time I’m naked, my body is on fire, fueled by nerves and adrenaline. Dean doesn’t waste time discarding his jeans and sweater. I watch him intently as he slides his boxers over his hips. He’s the first naked man I have seen in person.
I suck in a deep breath, all too aware of how his body makes mine respond. Between his chiseled arms, well-defined shoulders, and his massive cock, Dean has me out of breath and desperate for what’s to come.
I bite down on my bottom lip when he moves in front of me and slides his hands onto my waist, staring into my eyes with greed.
“Dean,” I moan.
He answers with his actions. Once our tongues collide, I know deep down that choosing Dean was the best decision. Lost in the moment, I run my hands over his chest, making my way to the rest of him. So much passion, fueled by sexual tension and hunger for one another, flows between us.
When he comes up for air, I don’t want our lips to separate. Dean backs away from me, out of breath. Overcome with emotion, my chest feels tight. I have been nervous for a long time about this moment. But Dean makes it easier. Being with him is right.
I stare into his eyes, and my mouth opens wide, as he reaches between my legs. He rolls the pad of his thumb over my clit before he slips his fingers inside my wetness. Leaving a trail of kisses from my neck to my breasts, Dean takes his time exploring my body.
He sucks on my nipple and tugs on it with his teeth, forcing a groan of pleasure from me. As I come undone, I grab hold of his shoulders to stabilize myself, my body writhing beneath him. It takes me a few seconds before I can function again.
I watch as Dean brings his fingers to his mouth and licks my juices from his skin.
“You taste good, Kitten,” he says with a wicked grin that reaches up to his denim irises. Then, he does something I least expect and moves forward to lift me up and into his arms.
Dean carries me over to the bed and kisses me, the taste of myself still on his lips. “You are so beautiful, Kat,” he says. “I love you so fucking much.”
On occasion, Dean tells me he loves me. But hearing it tonight, of all nights, stirs up so many emotions inside my chest.
“I love you, too, Dean,” I whisper.