‘You can,’ Zahid said. ‘When will you learn that you can be honest with me?’
She had never been honest with anyone, though, for she had never been allowed to be.
‘There is an Arabic proverb,’ Zahid said, ‘what is hidden is more than what has been revealed so far.’
She pondered the words for a moment and they were true, so true.
The loss of her baby was, for Trinity more than the event that had led to her conception. She had not had to work to separate the two, for her love for her baby had brought out a fierce protectiveness in her.
‘I got pregnant...’ Trinity said, and then quickly added, ‘Please, don’t say sorry. I wanted her so much.’
Zahid said nothing, just let her continue.
‘My parents wanted me to have an abortion, I just couldn’t. I knew right from the start that it wasn’t the baby’s fault. I went away to have my baby but I lost her at six months...’
For the first time ever he felt the sting of tears in his eyes. Even on his mother’s death he had been aware he must hold things together, that he must not, even once, cry, but hearing the love in her voice, despite the pain, had the emotions Zahid despised so much coursing through him.
‘Does she have a name?’
Trinity nodded. ‘Amara.’
Eternal.
He did what he must not do in Ishla, he sat on the bed and pulled her into him and held her as she wept and did his best to comfort her, but Trinity was still drowning in fear, not for the baby she had lost but the one she might hold inside her now.
‘You can talk to me.’
‘How?’ Trinity asked. ‘When tonight you are dining with your future wife?’
‘I will sort something out. I will buy us some time.’
‘How?’
‘Do you even want to be here?’
She was scared to say yes, scared to admit her truth, scared too, given how terrible it had been for her, that if she did admit her truth, if somehow she could stay, then he would forbid her from seeing her family.
‘Trinity?’ Zahid demanded, for he would move a mountain if he had to, but he had to know first if she wanted it moved. ‘Do you want to be here?’
She stared at a man she trusted more than she had ever trusted another person, but she could not bring herself to tell him what terrified her now.
She looked into Zahid’s eyes.
Her instinct was to tell him, but Trinity had been raised to deny her instincts and she did not know how to trust.
‘I want to be here,’ Trinity said, and her meaning was clear for a second later she met his mouth, her drug of choice, and it was Zahid’s too and this time he could not deny her.
Their mouths were on each other’s, he could taste her tears and her face was flushed from crying and her lips swollen, and it wasn’t even a choice for Zahid as to whether or not he kiss her, he gave in to need.
Desperate urgent kisses that had them tearing at each other’s clothes till they were naked and they melted into the other as their skins met again and he pressed her down onto the bed. It was dizzying, it had to be, for thought would have told them it was so very forbidden, a single thought would have warned that they could be caught at any moment, that this was wrong, very wrong. Zahid had always held onto emotion but not for a second did he hold on now.
‘Tell me what you want.’
‘You!’ Trinity replied. It was the only answer she knew. ‘This,’ she said, half sitting against the cushions as he knelt between her legs. His head lowered and Zahid’s mouth, hungry and rough, took her newly sensitive breasts deep, and she loved it that with Zahid pain was a new pleasure.
Then, when her breasts were not enough, when her mouth could not quench days of denial, of fighting not to react to her taunts, ended as he knelt back on his knees and pushed her legs further apart. She briefly looked down as he positioned her and then seared inside. Trinity’s head went back and she was drunk on the power of him unleashed and raw as his hands moved her hips to his will.
This was Zahid’s will, this was his want and even before Trinity came his decision was made and he started to spill into her.
Trinity could even feel the contractions in her womb as Zahid gave her the most intimate part of himself.
‘There,’ he said, and she understood his word.
‘There,’ he said again, as he pulsed in the final precious drops, and she forced herself forward and looked down again and watched the milky white on his length as he slowly pulled out and then drove in to her again.
It was done now.
After, they lay on the marital bed catching their breath, her hair in his mouth, her cheek hot and warm by his, and Zahid closed his eyes, but not in regret.
Tonight he dined with Princess Sameena and her family, next weekend it would be Sheikha Kumu, yet the woman he loved lay in the marital bed with him now.
It was too late to cancel the dinners, it would be considered the height of rudeness as the invitations had already been sent out.
He would get through tonight, Zahid decided but first he would speak with his father.
Foolish or not, sensible or otherwise, Zahid had chosen his bride.
His head had no say in the matter.
‘I will sort this.’
Her body was so flushed she shivered as she was suddenly drenched in icy fear.
‘Shouldn’t I be away from here before you say anything?’ Trinity was starting to panic.
‘I don’t want you away from me,’ Zahid said. ‘It’s time to start trusting me, Trinity.’
‘Zahid...’
‘I will handle this,’ Zahid said. ‘I am going to make a formal request to speak with the king.’
CHAPTER TWELVE
THE KING LOOKED down from his window and saw Trinity walk out from the entrance to the second palace.
Of course she would be interested in the second palace and want to see it, the king consoled himself. After all, she had a degree in ancient art history and the second palace was rich with treasures.
There was little consolation to be had a few moments later when he watched as his rarely dishevelled son walked out.
She must leave, the king decided.
And she would be leaving tonight.
He wanted Zahid back, the man who thought only of his country, a man, the king privately admitted, who must be spared the pain that he himself had endured, for a heart was only so big.
‘Is everything all right, Your Highness?’ Abdul enquired an hour or so later, when he walked in on the king, who was still deep in thought.
‘It will be,’ the king answered. ‘What are you here for?’
‘Prince Zahid has tendered a formal request to meet with you.’
Fahid’s stomach churned for the words they would exchange in a formal meeting must be documented.
‘I do not have time. We are to greet guests soon.’
‘It is a formal request.’
‘Which means I must respond by noon the next day,’ the king countered, for he, better than anyone, knew the laws of his land.
‘You are to arrange for Ms Foster to come and speak with me now.’
‘Of course,’ Abdul said obligingly. ‘Though, given we are soon to receive Princess Sameena and her family, would tomorrow perhaps be a more convenient time to speak with a guest?’
No, the king thought, for this must be dealt with now and once and for all.
And the king knew how.
Zahid needed to find out just how unsuitable Trinity would be as his wife, he needed to see for himself the trouble she would cause—and tonight he would.
He turned to Abdul. ‘Summon her now.’
* * *
The giddy high from making love had faded the moment Zahid had told her he would be speaking with the king.
Trinity bathed and as she came out of the bathroom her phone buzzed and Trinity let out a tense breath before answering.
‘Hi, Mum,’ Trinity answered. ‘How are you?’
There was a long stretch of silence and it took a while for it to dawn on Trinity that her mother was crying.
‘Your father wants to spread the ashes tomorrow. He wants it done but I wanted you here.’
‘Who’s going to be there?’
‘Just family.’
‘I can’t, then.’
‘Trinity, please...’ her mother said, but without anger this time. ‘I don’t want to lose you.’
She might, though.
Zahid would have no part in the strange charades her family played. Zahid had already told her his thoughts on her family and that he was severing ties with them.
She loved them, though.
‘You’re not going to lose me but I’m not going to attend any more family functions if Clive is there.’
‘Trinity—’
‘I mean it.’
Finally, she did.
It was a teary Trinity that answered when Layla knocked at her door.
‘I did not know that the children would upset you.’
‘It was just children asking questions.’ Trinity attempted a smile as she let her in.
‘I know, they ask so many. All the difficult ones, of course. I did promise them that so long as they asked in English and it was a polite question, they could ask me anything.’
‘Polite?’ Trinity checked.
‘Well, you know girls can ask difficult things and so I tell them when their question is not polite...’ Layla gave an uncomfortable shrug at Trinity’s questioning frown and elaborated a touch further. ‘Today they ask about marriage but some of the older students ask about wedding nights and I don’t think they are suitable questions.’ Layla went a little bit pink. ‘Or rather I don’t know how to answer them.’