‘I’m going to bed, Zahid, presumably alone.’
‘Stay.’
‘No!’ Trinity said. ‘I’m too good for a shag against the palace wall.’
‘I would not do that to you.’
‘You want to, though.’ Her hand reached down and what met her hand did not deny the truth.
But though she returned alone to her room, Trinity did not go to bed.
She couldn’t be pregnant, Trinity thought as she lifted her leg on the bed and pushed her fingers inside, feeling for the strings that would tell her the IUD was in place, but was unable to find them. She felt behind her cervix hoping to find them nestling there but, no, they were nowhere to be found.
Trinity undressed and examined her body. Apart from slightly bigger breasts, there were no changes she could see. She didn’t feel sick, she felt exactly as she always had. In fact, better than she always had, for the most part. Here in Ishla she was relaxed.
Not now, though.
She remembered Zahid’s slitting gesture to the throat and how she had laughed at the time.
She wasn’t laughing now.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
LAYLA WAS NOT quite so gushing with Trinity the next morning.
‘Is everything okay?’ Trinity checked, as they walked to her study where Layla would take her class.
‘If Zahid does not choose his bride, the next bride will be me.’
‘That is not what you want?’
Layla’s black eyes met Trinity’s. ‘It would seem that it has nothing to do with what I want.’
‘Layla.’ Trinity’s hand went to her shoulder, but Layla shrugged it off.
‘Please, don’t,’ Layla said. ‘I am cross with you even though deep down I know it is not your fault. I will not stay cross for long.’
They were all so honest, Trinity thought, but in the nicest of ways, because where else could you deny a touch because of the mood you were in?
Here they did not pretend.
‘Do you want to do the class tomorrow?’ Trinity offered.
‘No,’ Layla said. ‘I have promised the girls that you will meet them today, they would be so disappointed if that did not happen. I too have told them that you are here in the palace to help me with my English but you are not to correct me in front of them. It is easier to say that than explain you are here to sabotage my life.’ She saw Trinity startle. ‘Sorry, was “sabotage” the wrong word?’
‘I’m not allowed to correct you,’ Trinity pointed out, and Layla narrowed her eyes.
‘You can with my permission.’
Trinity thought for a moment. ‘Actually sabotage is the perfect word. I’m so sorry, Layla.’
‘See! I was right,’ Layla said, but then she smiled. ‘I know it was unintentional, though,’ she said, and gave Trinity a hug.
They were friends again.
English with Princess Layla was far more fun than Trinity remembered her English lessons to be!
Really, it was more an hour of conversation, for Layla did not know how to read or write in English.
Layla did not know how to drive either, Trinity found out as the questions poured in from Layla’s students and one of them asked how you would get to school in England if you did not have a driver like Princess Layla.
‘You would walk, or get a bus or train,’ Trinity said.
‘I would take my driver,’ Layla said, and they all laughed at the thought of their princess walking, or getting a bus or train, and so too did Layla.
It was fun.
Till the topic turned to weddings.
‘Does the bride wear gold in England?’ a little girl asked.
‘She wears white,’ Trinity said, wondering if it might be a touch difficult to explain just how diverse weddings could be. ‘Well, traditionally she wears white.’
‘We are going to say goodbye to Trinity now,’ Layla broke in swiftly, for she knew they would have many questions about weddings and it was something neither woman would, today, choose to discuss.
They all said goodbye and thanked her but still the questions came for Layla.
‘My mother says that our prince is going to marry soon,’ the same little girl said. ‘Princess Layla, will they live at the second palace?’
‘That is private,’ Layla warned, which went against everything Layla’s classes were about, it was why the students loved her so.
‘You said, so long as we asked politely and in English, that you would answer our questions.’
Layla closed her eyes for a brief moment. ‘Yes,’ Layla said. ‘Our tradition says that the future king will live at the second palace with his bride until it is time for him to rule.’ She looked at Trinity, who had moved away from the camera and had tears streaming down her face.
It was cruel to hear about Zahid’s future life and Layla nodded when Trinity stood. ‘I’m going to go for a walk.’
‘Of course.’ Layla nodded. ‘Wait one moment,’ she said to her students, ‘and I will be back.’ She joined Trinity at the door. ‘I am so sorry.’
‘It’s not your fault. Of course they have questions.’
‘You did not need to hear them, though.’
Trinity walked through the palace grounds, overwhelmed with the impossibility of it all, because even a chance of future happiness for Zahid and herself would come at an appalling price.
As she wandered down towards the beach she saw the entrance to the second palace that Zahid had steered her away from.
The garden was cool and shaded but as she walked further she saw it had its own private beach.
She thought there would be guards, or workers, but there seemed to be no one and when she turned a handle on a huge carved door, as easily as that she was in.
It was agony.
A huge wooden staircase led upwards but that was not what first caught her eye. Neither were the portraits on the wall, but a glass cabinet that contained framed photos.
This was a home.
Layla was the image of Annan, who’d had smiling black eyes and the same long hair. Even Fahid looked happy but what had Trinity’s eyes fill with tears was a younger Zahid.
He had even been a serious baby.
Only then, as she looked through the years, did she realise just how lucky she was to receive that smile so easily, for it would seem he shared it with few.
To torture herself she took the stairs upwards and soon found the wing that contained the master suite.
It had to be it, Trinity decided looking at the opulent bed piled with cushions, the bed where Zahid would sleep with his bride. Yes, it had to be it, Trinity thought as she opened huge shutters and stared out at the ocean, for it was a view fit for a king.
‘What are you doing here?’ Trinity did not jump at the sound of his voice, she was trying too hard not to turn round and to wipe her eyes without him seeing.
‘Layla’s taking her class. I just wanted to take a walk.’ Trinity chose not to tell Zahid that they had been discussing his wedding. ‘I wanted to think. I’m sorry I wandered. I never thought it would be open.’
‘You don’t need keys here.’
He came over and stood by her side. ‘You were crying?’
Trinity nodded.
‘About your brother?’
Trinity gave a soft shrug then shook her head.
‘No.’ She looked out at the ocean again and thought of her brother, for without him she would not be standing here. ‘You know, if it weren’t for his death, we would never have spoken again.’
‘That is not the case,’ Zahid admitted. ‘I had thought about you a lot in the last month. I told you Donald asked for a loan for his honeymoon. The first time was on the night of his wedding. I refused him and offered to pay for rehab instead. The second time...’ Zahid hesitated and then continued. ‘It was me who called him. I did not get around to asking for your number, though. He was in a bad way and he said again that he needed a loan. If anyone should have guilt for lending money...’
Trinity turned her head. ‘No.’
‘I had rung every library in Los Angeles,’ Zahid said, and watched as her shoulders moved in a soft laugh. ‘One by one I ticked them off and in the end I rang your mother. That is how I found out that he had died.’
‘Why were you trying to call me?’
‘I think we both know why,’ Zahid said, ‘even if it must remain unsaid.’
Must it?
‘Trinity, since our first kiss you have not left my mind.’
‘Oh, please.’ There was still anger there. ‘You never gave me a thought. If Donald hadn’t got married we’d never have seen each other again. You left me that night and you never looked back.’ Tears were streaming down her cheeks but they were silent ones. ‘You never came back.’
‘I did come back,’ Zahid said. ‘In the new year, after your birthday. I returned, not because I wanted to spend time with your family but because I wanted to see you, but I was told that you had gone into rehab.’
‘Oh, is that what they told you?’ Trinity gave a mirthless laugh. ‘I always wondered how they managed to explain away six months of my life.’
‘Where were you?’
She couldn’t discuss it, it hurt too much, but Zahid would not let it rest. ‘Why would Donald and your family say you were in rehab...?’ His voice trailed off as the truth started to dawn on him.
‘Tell me.’
‘I can’t,’ Trinity said.