I hold my fist over the door, wanting to knock with all my might, but at the last second, I decide to ring the bell instead. Seconds pass before one of the massive doors swings open and I find myself staring into the eyes of an unfamiliar, gray-haired housekeeper.
I stand up a little straighter and pretend I’m wearing a designer business suit. “I’m here to talk to Derinda Carlson.”
The housekeeper frowns at me, then puckers her lips and shakes her head. “Mrs. Carlson is unavailable.”
I press my lips tightly together. There’s no way in hell I’m leaving here without speaking to Cross’s mother. “Look, ma’am, I’m a family friend.” I nod behind me. “I recognize her BMW and I know she’s here this weekend. Tell her it’s one of Cross’s friends. I have something of his.”
I don’t, of course, but I’m hoping curiosity will draw Derinda to the door. I haven’t seen much of her since I left for college, but I remember she used to be a vibrant, funny woman—if a little cowed by her powerful husband.
I spend the few minutes I’m kept waiting sending out pleas to the universe. Please let her come to the door. Please help Cross.
I’m almost surprised when the door opens again and she’s standing there in front of me. When we were in high school, Derinda Carlson was elegant and well-dressed, with vibrant blue eyes and short, stylish blonde hair. I remember her sorting through papers as she drew up house plans, but she would always make sure the housekeepers kept Cross, Suri, and I well-fed, and the few times she greeted me upon arrival, she was always kind and smiling.
This woman is much different. Still dressed stylishly in an ice blue pant suit, Derinda has definitely aged. I can tell because her face looks ridiculously smooth, and the areas around her mouth and eyebrows don’t move much as she looks me up and down. Her pale blonde hair, swept into a casual up-do, bobs a little as her eyes travel from my moccasins to my hair, which is probably a mess.
Her arms are hanging at her sides, but I notice her hands are splayed and stiff, even as she bends her mouth into a sour-lemon smile and nods slightly at me. “Elizabeth, how can I help you?”
Tears flood my eyes as I think about Cross, with a tube down his throat and all that gauze around his head. My voice cracks as I struggle not to sob. “Why is he in that awful place?”
She frowns, and lines appear—well-worn tracks she can’t completely hide. “We can’t insure him anymore. Drake is paid by the taxpayers these days, darling.”
My face says I’m not buying it, and Derinda’s frown deepens. “I really don’t need to justify anything to you, but do you have any idea how much the facility he was in cost us?”
“No.”
“Two thousand dollars every night. That was after insurance paid a percentage.”
I blink, stunned that these things matter. “He was waking up! He talked to me.”
She’s shaking her head briskly, like she can’t stand to hear my words. “There’s been no response for months.”
“This was days ago! I told the nurse. It’s probably on the cameras! They were doing that therapy on his brain and it was working. I could tell!”
Derinda shakes her head. “We love our son, Elizabeth. We just simply can’t afford it.”
I want to call her on her bullshit. Governor Carlson was a prominent litigator before he entered politics. Cross’s family is loaded. And they certainly aren’t acting like they love him.
I change the subject. “What happened in the ambulance?”
She opens her mouth, pauses as she fixes me with an even stare. “They’re not sure. He was on so many different medicines...” The corner of her mouth tucks down, like we’re talking about a broken vase.
“He had a stroke,” I snap. “You don’t know why?”
“There are no whys, Elizabeth. Don’t you think I’d be crazy if I sat around asking why any of this happened? Maybe you can tell me. You were there that night.”
I clench my jaw. I want so much—so much—to tell her how their estrangement impacted Cross. How, after his father banished him, he’d lost weight and started drinking more. How he spent most of the time he wasn’t working at my Mom’s house all alone.
My eyes simmer with angry tears. “They said he had the stroke because he was in pain. That sounds like someone’s fault.”
Her mouth draws up like a rotten fruit. “They shouldn’t be discussing this with you.”
I ignore her. “He was waking up. Why did you move him to a place like this one? He was doing well.”
“He has no idea where he is, and he isn’t doing anything, Elizabeth. I know it hurts, but it’s time to be realistic. Cross is gone, and he is never coming back.”