She was folding a knitted jacket when the door opened. She looked up and smiled. Lann stood in the frame, wearing a pair of faded jeans and a linen shirt, the cuffs unbuttoned to expose his strong forearms.
His gaze shifted from her to the bed, and when it fell back on her face, his eyes had adopted a pale shade of yellow. “What are you doing?”
“I’m packing away our baby’s clothes.”
His steps were soundless as he made his way to her on the cushioned carpet. He quietly scanned the clothing scattered over the bed. “You don’t need to do this.”
Kat frowned. “Do what?”
“Punish yourself.”
“Punish myself how, Lann?”
Before he could answer, Clelia appeared in the door with a steaming bowl balanced on a tray. “I brought hot chocolate. Can I get you some, Lann?”
Lann turned. “She’s not allowed chocolate. You know that.”
“Lann,” Kat exclaimed. “You’re being rude.”
Clelia didn’t seem put off. She left the tray on the coffee table by the fireplace. “I know. It’s made with carob, a caffeine-free replacement.”
“Thank you, Clelia,” Kat said, cutting Lann a look. “You’re most thoughtful.”
Clelia only smiled and left the room.
Kat turned, but Lann blocked her path. “I won’t let you upset yourself like this. I can’t stand by and watch you bring unnecessary suffering to yourself.”
“Lann,” Kat said softly, “I want to do this. I need to do it.”
“You’re my responsibility, and I won’t let you hurt yourself.”
“You’re directing your anger at me, and I understand, but you should be using all that energy on more uplifting emotions, such as helping me prepare for the birth by being happy with me.”
Lann scowled. “Rubbing my nose in it isn’t helping. The only thing it does is remind me that you’re—” He swallowed the rest of his words. “Fuck. I didn’t mean to say that.”
He put his hand on Kat’s arm, but she pulled away.
His eyes sparked. “Don’t deny me my right to comfort you.”
“If you don’t upset me to start with, you wouldn’t always have to comfort me,” she snapped.
His eyes widened. “I upset you?”
“Honestly, Lann, for an intelligent man you know precious little about a woman’s feelings.”
“I’m trying to protect your feelings.”
“No, you’re not. You’re denying me the right to love my baby,” she said softly.
He stared at her with an expression of disbelief.
She couldn’t handle the conflict any longer. It was exhausting. She turned for the bathroom, but before she’d taken two steps, Lann was gripping her shoulder.
“Don’t walk away from me,” he said, the usual flat tone he used when he was angry now infused with emotion. “I don’t have enough time left with you to let you walk out on me.”
He gave a gentle tug, turning her back to face him.
“You’re the one who walked out on me, remember?” she said.
Her words had the effect of a cold shower. His grip loosened. She used the moment to put the distance she craved between them.
“I’d like to be alone now,” she said, backtracking into the bathroom.
“What are you doing?”
“I’d like a warm bath, and then I’ll finish packing away our baby’s clothes. If you can’t handle it, you can wait downstairs.”
He took a step toward her.
“No.” Her voice was firm. “I said I need time alone. You will respect that.”
Lann froze. A battle raged in his eyes as she closed the door, shutting him out.
She leaned against the wood and breathed out slowly. Why did she have to fall in love with a difficult man? Would Lann ever come to terms with reality? She wanted their child to know his father and she was sure Lann would make a great one, but for now, she didn’t want to think about it anymore. She ran a bath, soaked in the welcome water until it cooled, and only when she got out, making a noise of splashing the water, did a knock fall on the door.
“Can I come in?” Lann asked.
He was still there? As if afraid she’d deny his request, he opened the door before she could reply. Without waiting for a response, he took a towel from the rack and wrapped it around her. Despite the fact that she was still annoyed with him, his nearness was comforting. She allowed him to dry her body. Lann released the clasp that secured her hair in a messy bun on her head, letting the long strands tumble down her back. His eyes darkened as he dropped the towel and studied her reflection in the mirror.
She followed his gaze. Her waist had expanded, and she had a definite bump. “I’m starting to show.”
He lifted her hair and kissed the back of her neck. “Very little. I can’t wait. You’ll be beautiful.” His expression softened as they locked eyes again. “I’m very proud, even if I shouldn’t be.”
It was the first time Lann had expressed a positive sentiment about her pregnancy, and she had to bite her lip not to cry. Hiding her emotions, she reached for the body lotion on the shelf, but Lann intercepted and took the bottle instead. He squirted a generous amount into his hand, and then heated the lotion by rubbing it between his palms before he applied it to her arms. He covered every inch of skin, taking special care to massage each finger, before he swiped her hair over her shoulder to expose her back. As the curls tumbled over her breasts, his eyes followed the action, but he kept focused on his task, moisturizing her back and legs, smoothing his hands over her calves to the inside of her thighs. When he brushed his fingertips over her folds, she jerked.