Everyone had their own views on sex. Some people could have sex for the pure act itself. They could savor spending the night with a gorgeous stranger and have no lingering doubts or feelings nagging them the next day.
I had always been able to leave my emotions at the door when it came to an oral exchange. But when it came to full-on penis penetration, home run sex, I knew I couldn’t approach it with that same mindset.
To me, intercourse was more intimate than oral. There was something about looking directly into a person’s eyes while your bodies became one. I knew that type of sex had to be something more than just physical for me.
I trusted Kline so much, and I’d come to do it quickly. But I felt the way he cared about me with every kiss, every smile, every lingering touch. With him, it wouldn’t just be sex. He was more than that to me. I truly cared about him. My feelings for him ran deeper than I was ready to admit. The intensity and depth of those feelings had awareness hitting me like a wrecking ball.
My heart was on the line here, and I had just realized how much I could lose.
Fear drowned my mind, spilling into my eyes.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, assessing the uncertainty on my face, acutely in tune with my wavering thoughts.
“I’m scared,” I admitted.
He stared deep into my eyes. “There’s nothing to be scared of, Georgie. I’d never pressure you into doing something you’re not ready for.”
I wiped the worry from his brow. “I know that. Believe me, I know that.”
“Tell me what you’re scared of.” His eyes were so earnest. “I’ll do everything I can to fix it.”
This guy. I swallowed around my heart in my throat.
“I’m scared because…it’s so intense.” I fumbled to find the right words. “I just…I feel like I’m falling too fast with you. It’s scary as hell. I can’t ignore the fear that, one day, I’ll wake up and things will have ended badly between us. I don’t want to associate you with hurt in the end.”
He cupped my face, gazing down at me. “No matter what happens, baby, it will always be a good hurt for me. You make me feel alive. And I’ll do everything I can to make sure it’s the same goddamn experience for you.”
That look. There was a gentleness in his eyes that let me know I wasn’t the only one falling.
This wasn’t going to be just about sex for him either. This was more. He and I were going places, and his look said, “I’m falling too.”
And that look was why I reached for the nightstand to pull a condom from the drawer. The empty drawer.
His eyes followed me the whole way; I could feel them, but when I turned back to him, they were slightly pinched together.
“I thought there’d be condoms.”
He laughed a little, just enough to ease the tension and make me start to smile.
“There aren’t any condoms in the drawer.”
“Obviously,” I replied.
He smirked and rubbed at the skin of my waist. “I’ve never brought a woman here.”
A comforting statement to all, but somehow I managed to turn it on its head, panicking slightly, thinking that things were going to come to a very abrupt stop. I didn’t want them to. I was ready now.
“Please tell me you have condoms somewhere.”
He smiled fully at that. “In my bag.”
I shoved him off and jumped off the bed before running to his bag and rummaging through it without remorse. When the foil of the package met my fingertips, I took off in reverse, shoving him aside, resuming my position, and pulling him back on top of me.
He shook with silent amusement as he grabbed the condom out of my hand, setting it on the bed beside my hip. But his mirth transformed quickly to heat as he moved his hands to my panties, slowly sliding them down my legs, pressing kisses down my body in their wake.
He removed his briefs, his thick erection popping free.
My eyes went wide for a beat, distressed by the size of him. It was one thing to take a cock of that magnitude in my mouth, but it was a whole other ballgame when that cock was going to be the first to slide into home. “Not gonna lie, I wish you were smaller,” I blurted out before I could take it back.
Kline stopped mid-kiss, and his forehead fell to my abdomen as a few chuckles escaped his lips. I could feel his smile against my flesh. “No can do, Benny girl. I’m Big-dicked Brooks.”
I stilled. “What did you just say?”
“Nothing.” He laughed softly into my skin, his tongue sneaking out and licking around my belly button.
“Did you just say Big-dicked Brooks?”
“Huh?” He peeked up at me, amusement on his lips and his eyes feigning confusion.