“I’m fucking you right now.”
“Again,” I repeat. “But I want to film it. Watching is so hot, I want to keep it forever.”
He pauses. For one breathless moment, I think I’ve somehow gone too far, but then Devan bands an arm around my waist and surges up. He was letting me control everything before, but that’s over now. He fucks up into me and even with the restricted mobility of this position, I feel entirely owned by him.
I come so hard, I shriek. Devan barely hesitates. He lifts me off him and switches our position, tumbling me onto the couch and kneeling between my thighs. He guides his cock back into me and uses his palms to press my legs up and out, holding me open for him as he fucks me. “This is what you want to see.”
I stare down to where we’re joined. His cock saws into me, unbelievably big, my orgasm soaking both of us. “Yes,” I gasp. “More.”
“So fucking greedy. So demanding. You sure you’re a virgin, birthday girl? Because you take this cock like you’ve done this before.” He picks up his pace, borderline pounding into me. “Just. Have. To. Get. Deeper.” Devan surges forward and I swear to god I feel him in the back of my throat.
I come again. This time, there’s no shriek. I make a choked sound and my body clenches so hard my brain shorts out. He curses and pulls out, jacking his cock in rough, furious movements. On the second stroke, he orgasms, his come lashing my lower stomach and pussy. Devan gives one last stroke and then drags his cock down my slit.
I can’t stop shaking. “Holy shit,” I whisper. “Holy shit.”
Devan’s exhale sounds just as shaky as my body. “Yeah.” He meets my gaze. “You okay?”
“Okay?” I blink slowly. It feels like my words are being pulled through taffy. “I don’t think okay is the word. I think I just had an out-of-body experience.”
His expression eases and he shakes his head. “That about sums it up. Don’t move.”
“Couldn’t even if I wanted to.”
He leverages himself to his feet, tucks his cock away, and heads in the direction of the bedroom. I lift my head enough to look at myself in the mirror. My body looks as deliciously boneless as I feel, slumped against the couch with my legs spread and Devan’s come all over my pussy.
Just…wow.
Am I really going to survive five—no, four—more times of this?
More, how the hell is normal sex supposed to measure up to this? He might have been saying all that in the heat of the moment, driven on by the fantasy, but that doesn’t make any of it less true. Devan might really have just ruined me for other partners.
I close my eyes and let my head fall back against the couch. It’s too late to worry about it now. If it ends up being the case, then starting tomorrow I’ll just do what I’ve always done.
Pick up all my broken pieces and keep moving.
Chapter 10
Devan reappears a few minutes later with a warm wet washcloth in his hand. He cleans me up methodically and then gathers me into his arms and resumes his seat with me in his lap. I relax against him and let the beat of his heart soothe me; it draws me back into my body, steady thump by steady thump. I like this nearly as much as the sex, though I’ll be damned before I admit it.
“That got a little out of control,” Devan finally says.
I lift my head and look at him. “You have a virgin kink. Who knew?”
He holds my gaze. “I’m rapidly coming to realize I have a Hazel kink.”
My whole body goes hot and my mind veers into static. “What?” Surely he didn’t say what I think he just said. I cannot handle any non-roleplaying talk that hints at any kind of permanence. When it comes down to it, Devan’s only spent a few weeks with me at sixteen that I barely remember and six nights since. If he wanted to be in my life, he would have come around more, at least after my nineteenth birthday.
He didn’t.
Tonight is about letting go, not about starting something new. I can’t afford to forget that.
In an effort to get us back on track, I wiggle out of Devan’s arms and stand slowly. My body still feels a little loose, but I manage to keep my feet without stumbling. “On to twenty.”
“Hazel.”
I hold up a hand. “Look, if you want to talk about anything that isn’t fucking my brains out, do you think it can wait until morning?” His eyes go flinty, but I push on. “I’ve been fantasizing about this for a really long time, and I don’t want something as messy as reality to intrude. Please, Devan.”