‘But what about my feelings?’ she asked. ‘What about my job? What if they told someone it was a charade? What then? Did you think about that? My career will implode if they spill anything to the press. How could you do that without asking me first?’
Luke released a weary sigh. This was why he stayed out of relationships. He was rubbish at handling people’s feelings. He hurt them without even trying. ‘Look, I admit I should have discussed it with you first. But they’re discreet and will keep it to themselves.’
‘They’d better because otherwise I’m never going to forgive you if this blows up in my face.’ She folded her arms and glowered at him. ‘So…no photos. Is that your final word?’
‘I just prefer to keep my life private. It’s no one’s business but mine.’
Worry flickered through her gaze. ‘But what am I going to say to Felicity?’
‘You could tell her the truth,’ Luke said with a wry look.
Shock flashed over her features. ‘I can’t do that. I could lose my job.’
‘You’re going to have to tell everyone some time.’
She unlocked her arms and shifted her gaze. ‘I know. I have it covered. I’m going to do a breakup blog. But don’t worry; I won’t make you sound bad. I’ll make it that I broke it off because of my issues not yours.’
Luke came over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. ‘Look, how about I take some photos of you instead? How’s that for a compromise?’
She seemed to mull it over for a moment before she let out a breath. ‘They’d better be pretty damn good photos.’
He leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. ‘They will be.’
CHAPTER TEN
AFTER DINNER, ABBY sat with Luke in the moonlight on the terrace. He had taken several photos of her over the course of the evening and all of them were good. Some of them even brilliant. He had a good eye for lighting and with the golden and muted light during twilight and sunset he had made her look almost beautiful.
But she couldn’t help feeling disappointed he didn’t want to be in the photos with her. What harm was there in a photo or two? At least it would be something she could keep after this week ended. Would it have hurt him to allow her one little keepsake photo? She had no childhood photos to speak of. This was another reminder of how alone she truly was.
But she didn’t want to be alone any more.
Not after this week. Not after being with Luke and experiencing the passion of being in his arms. Why couldn’t they extend their fling? Why wouldn’t he broaden the time frame to see how well they worked as a couple? Sure, they had little disagreements, but that was normal and even healthy. His refusal to be in the photos was a reminder of his unwillingness to commit to anything long-term and her stupidity in secretly hoping he would change his mind. How many times had she written about this in her column? Women always thought they could change men but it nearly always ended up in heartbreak. People could only change when they believed they had to change, when they felt the need to change. When they wanted to change. No one else could force you or coerce you.
‘More champagne?’ Luke held up the bottle.
Abby covered the top of her glass. ‘Better not. I already feel a little tipsy.’ Who knew what would come out of her mouth if she allowed her self-control to slip?
I’m in love with you. I want to be married to you and have your babies.
How could she have thought she could settle for a fling when all she wanted was for ever with Luke? She wanted to grow old with him, to bring up a family with him, to do all the things with their little family she had missed out on as a child. But how could she tell him that? It was the last thing he wanted to hear. The last thing he wanted was a permanent commitment. How could it have taken her this long to realise she loved him? Or had she been lying to herself all this time?
It was ironic but for years she had been telling lies. Heaps and heaps of little white lies and yet the one time she wanted to tell the truth she couldn’t. If she told Luke how she felt about him he would be furious. Falling in love was never part of the deal. She had talked him into the charade and now she had to endure the clock ticking on their fling.
He sat back in his chair and looked at the wrinkled moonlit sea below. ‘This place makes you wish you didn’t have to go home.’
‘Tell me about it,’ Abby said, thinking of her cramped little flat and the thin walls where she heard her neighbours arguing or listening to their too-loud televisions. Out here in this paradise, all she could hear was the occasional cry of a seabird and the whisper of the wind through the cypress pines.