“So you were all clueless. Just… into each other. She had the hots for you—a guy whose name she didn’t even know—if you had a little high school make-out session. And if she got it on with both you and Jed, then she either wanted a wild time or truly was hot for a threesome.”
T had toned down his words about what we’d done. Hell, we’d shared details about the women we’d been with in the past, but Kaitlyn was different and T seemed to realize that now.
While I’d been horny as fuck as a teenager, I’d never gotten to third base like that in high school. Back then, I’d have ensured I got off, not her. I hadn’t been selfish, just clueless. And while Jed and I had agreed we’d claim a woman together, we hadn’t spent the night with one together until college.
I thought of Kaitlyn, the way her eyes had gone all out of focus behind her glasses at our kiss, the way she’d said, “Okay,” on an excited little breath right before I slipped my finger inside her tight heat and found her wet and hot for me.
“Yeah, not quite high school, but she’d been right there with us, like I said, until I told her my name.”
I expected both of them to make some stupid-ass comment, but none came.
“After that, you still didn’t know who she was.”
I shook my head. “She didn’t say before she bolted. I was up half the night wondering what the fuck happened and how I was going to see her again. Jed was pissed he had to keep slinging drinks.”
Gus sat his soda down on the table by his hip. “But you figured it out.”
I offered them a tired smile. “Turns out, she was my remodel appointment this morning. She’s living in her old house.”
“Oh shit,” T muttered.
“Exactly. Just pulling up to that place made me want to puke. I thought someone had bought it, planned to fix it up, and I’d intended to tell them I couldn’t take the job, would refer them to someone else. Instead, Kaitlyn answered the door. She told me the truth of why she ran off the night before.”
“Because she’s a Leary and because you’re a Duke.”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“You’re telling me she ran scared because she realized who you were, and that you’d, what, hate her or something stupid like that?” Gus asked, speaking slowly as if I were an idiot.
My heart thumped once, then stalled. I stood, went over to the big window, my back to my brothers. My property lined a field, the tall grasses green and waving in the setting sun. I rubbed the back of my neck, winced at what Gus was insinuating. What was obvious now.
I was an idiot.
“Oh shit.”
“Oh shit, what?” Gus asked, his voice sounding grim, like I’d drank the last soda and was afraid to tell.
“That is exactly what she thought,” I said. “I confirmed it for her this morning by listing everything her father had done, telling her how she’d fucked up my seventeenth birthday and ending with telling her—”
I snapped my mouth closed, remembering the words I’d used. I’d actually said I hate you.
“Your seventeenth birthday? Are you fucking shitting me? Jesus, she was t
en years old,” Gus snapped.
“Did she slap you? She should have,” T added, shaking his head as if he were disappointed in me.
He had reason to be. I was disappointed in myself.
I remembered how she’d met my eyes, took in every single one of the mean words I’d said. She hadn’t flinched, hadn’t looked away.
I ran my hand over my head. “No, she didn’t defend herself, tell me off or anything. She just agreed with me,” I replied, staring out the window, processing. After a minute, I turned and faced them, put my hands on my hips. “I was a dick. I admit it. What’s the worst of all is that she actually thinks I should hate her—all of us should—for what her father did. She’s willing to live with that. She’d never have gotten near me at the bar if she’d known who I was. Hell, I bet she wouldn’t have gone to ladies’ night if she knew Jed owned Cassidy’s.”
“You’re an asshole, you know that?” T asked.
Yeah, I was.
“I think I just blew my chance with her.” And that thought made me want to puke and punch my fist through a wall. “And Jed’s.”