“What?” he says with a laugh as he sits down.
“I like looking at you,” I say flippantly.
He laughs and assumes that I’m joking. I’m dead serious. Declan is easily the sexiest guy I’ve ever seen. Would it be so wrong to allow myself to flow with it? To try a proper relationship.
Remember Leonard.
The voice in my head has grown weaker. Yes, I remember Leonard, but I also know that I cannot compare the two men. Declan is nothing like Leonard. Nothing at all. He’s cut from a different cloth. He’s a good man. That, I have no doubt.
“So, tell me about your hometown,” Declan says.
“It’s not on the beach,” I quip, and he laughs.
That’s another thing that makes Declan so lovable. He takes life easy. Leonard had an intensity about him that turned everything into a competition. One that he had to win.
“The population is … wait for it, six thousand.”
Declan’s jaw drops. “You could almost know everyone.”
I laugh. “Almost.”
“Who was your first boyfriend, and does he still live there?” Declan asks, his eyes dancing.
I swallow hard and refuse to let the thought of Leonard spoil my mood. He and I were over a long time ago. I’m sure that he’s moved on and found someone else to bully.
I wrestle my mind away from Leonard and go deep into the recesses of my memory. Jack. That was his name, though calling him my boyfriend would be stretching the truth a little. “Jack. His name was Jack, and I have no clue as to where he lives now.”
I take a bite of my sandwich. “What about you? Who was your first girlfriend?”
“Easy. Amber. She was the prettiest girl in school,” Declan says, and something burns my chest. I try to dislodge it, but it won’t shift or let me breathe properly.
Ridiculous. How can I be jealous of a high school love affair?
“Until she dumped me for the captain of the football team,” he says as laughter bursts from his mouth. “They got married right after high school, but sadly it didn’t last.”
“High school first loves rarely work,” I say.
“Are you going to see your father tomorrow?” Declan asks.
Air leaves my lungs. That’s the question I’ve wrestled with ever since I decided to drive up to Arlen. “You don’t beat around the bush. Straight to the heart of the matter, that’s you.”
Declan smiles. “Yeah, when it’s important. I’ve seen how having a rift with your parents affects other areas of your life.”
I can’t imagine Declan falling out with his parents. “Did you fall out with your parents at one point?”
He shakes his head. “Not me. Ace. Even if they’re not super close now, Ace is at peace. I want the same for you.”
“Thanks. I think I might.” I hadn’t planned on it, to be honest, but seeing as we are bound to run into one another, I’d rather it was on my terms. Plus, I’m an adult.
“Were you close with your dad?” Declan asks.
“Heck no,” I say automatically. “My mom and I have always been super close. My dad loved his work, or that was the impression I got as he was never home. He was busy for the longest time; his was the only law firm in town.”
“He missed out on knowing one of the most amazing human beings I know,” Declan said.
His compliment warms me all over. “Thank you.”
Declan picks up his coffee and sips it. My gaze lowers to his mouth. I watch the movement of his lips and remember how it feels like when they brush against mine. Everything about Declan fascinates me.
“Does your ex-husband still live in Arlen?” he says.
I almost choke on my coffee. “The last time I heard, no.” My mom had offered the information a couple of years ago, probably in the hope that I would return home for a visit.
The place held horrible memories for me, but now, they don’t have a hold on me anymore. I don’t feel any anxiety at the thought of going to Arlen tomorrow.
I look at Declan, and gratitude flows through me. “You are a good guy,” I tell him.
He laughs. “I’m not sure a lot of people would agree with you.”
“Look how you offered to drive up to Arlen with me, and I know for a fact that you’re busy. Thank you.”
“It’s a chance for you to show off your big handsome husband,” he says, with a twinkle in his eyes.
“My modest husband, you mean?” I say.
He laughs. My favorite sound is Declan’s laughter. With him, there’s no holding back, whether it’s laughter or talking loudly, or expressing himself. Declan lets it all out.
Time flies, and when we drain our coffees, and I glance at the time, I’m surprised that we’ve been in the salad bar for almost two hours. The lunchtime crowd came and went.
Outside, Declan takes my hand again as he walks me back to the office. I can do this, I tell myself. I can handle a real relationship. I think that I’ve finally buried the ghosts of my past.