She takes a swig of her drink. She swallows and looks at me and then laughs, but it’s devoid of humor. “I can’t believe I’m even considering something like this.”
“I’m a believer in things happening for a reason,” I start to say and then shut up when she favors me with a dirty look.
“Don’t try to make sense of this madness. We were irresponsible, and that’s it,” she says. “How long do we need to be married for?”
“It will be up to you.”
A pensive look comes over her features. “Until I get pregnant. I don’t want you to be involved in the baby’s life. That’s the condition.”
My heart squeezes as a memory comes to my mind. Four years ago, I had been the first person to see my brother’s daughter Luna after she was born. My brother had been away in Afghanistan and had not even known that he would be a dad.
I had stood in for him, supporting Lexi, now his wife, throughout the pregnancy. I remember the way Luna left her mother’s body with her little eyes wide open, staring around as if the world and everything in it were hers for the taking.
That moment will stay with me for the rest of my life. I turn my mind to Marian’s proposal. I don’t know whether I have it in me to be a sperm donor. I love kids, and Luna, now three, turns me to mush when I see her. I don’t know if I can live with the knowledge that I fathered a baby and not be involved in her life.
Luna has taught me that kids are the only people who can give you unconditional love. Everyone else’s love has a condition attached to it, and if you break it, then the relationship ends.
Marian sees the war waging inside me. “That’s my condition even to consider this madness.”
This is easily the most difficult decision I have ever made. I’ve always wanted kids but never thought that it was part of my future. And now it is, except it’s not.
“I would like to be part of the baby’s life,” I tell Marian.
She shakes her head. “I’m not interested in a relationship.”
“Neither am I, but I would want her or him to grow up knowing who his dad is.”
“I can’t deal with the drama that will follow you being in our lives. Take it or leave it.” She turns to her drink, leaving me to stare at her in disbelief.
What kind of fucked up deal is this that she’s offering?
“So, you guys are going to try and make a go of this?” Mike asks.
I hadn’t even realized that he had been eavesdropping on our conversation.
“Go away,” we both say at the same time.
He smiles good-naturedly and goes to the other end of the bar to serve someone else.
“There’s one more thing,” she says, and by the way her eyes twinkle, I have a suspicion that she’s enjoying this.
“Go on,” I say dully.
“I hope you don’t think we’ll try to get pregnant the old-fashioned way,” she says.
“No?”
“Definitely not,” she says. “I don’t sleep with strangers.”
“So how will we do it?” I ask.
“Have you ever heard of artificial insemination?” she says, straight-faced.
Chapter 5
Marian
“You gave a condition, and I agreed to it,” Declan says to me on the plane. “I have one too. You can’t tell anyone that ours is a marriage of convenience.”
The first thing that Declan did yesterday when I agreed to this scam of a marriage was to change his flight so that we could go home together. A terrible idea if you ask me. I’d have preferred to go home alone to have some time to think and get used to the idea of being married. Not to mention to write down a list of the people I need to update on my new status.
“I can’t lie to Brooke and Jason. They’re my best friends, and besides, I already told them when we got married,” I tell him.
He shrugs. “Tell them we decided to try and make it work. It’s true. We’re trying to make it work, just not how they think.”
I’m not sure I can go through with this. It’s tempting to call off the whole deal, but I want a baby so badly. It’s all I can think about ever since Declan mentioned it. It’s my only chance to have a baby of my own.
Guilt gnaws at me. I haven’t exactly told Declan the truth about myself. I’m a divorcee. Leonard and I were married for five years. Declan hasn’t told me anything about his past either, but I’m thinking he doesn’t have a divorce on his resume.
It wasn’t part of our deal, I tell myself.
This deal has brought all sorts of problems that I had not anticipated. First, there’s Jason and Brooke. I’m sure they’ll see right through it for what it is. Then there are my people at the office. Maggie at the store and Kimberly and Eric in the office upstairs. My employees don’t know this side of me. The impulsive side, aided by alcohol that decides it’s smart to marry a stranger.