I have the same heroin-induced haze as when I talk to Abby and fall down the rabbit hole. “Thanks, but I like the gym.”
“Your mother would like to see you home more since you’ll most likely be going to college in the fall and...so would I.”
“Did you get hit in the head recently?” I hold out my left arm. “Shooting pains down this arm accompanied by chest pain? Numbness on one side of your face? New medications or just dabbling in recreational meth?”
Dad chuckles and his dark eyes shine. He’s given this look a hundred times to my brothers, but never to me. Fuck me—is that pride?
“I’ve talked to the administration at Worthington. You can return to school, and I’ve talked to the admissions office at the University of Louisville. They’re willing to review your application again.”
Gaped mouth. A couple of breaths in. “You know I was suspended for fighting, right?”
“Yes. But over the last few weeks, something has happened inside you. Something that didn’t happen inside me until I was in my twenties. You’re coming alive and I want to be a part of it.”
Wait... “Twenties? I thought you and Mom met in your freshman year of college.” The tale was one of those all-American love stories. The well-brought-up boy and girl fall in love over a shared love of education, money and extracurricular activities.
Dad’s eyes flash to mine and I slump back in my seat. “You lied.”
He rolls his neck and his silence confirms the truth. “Did you even meet at college?”
“No,” he answers. “I know what I’m talking about and I don’t want you to repeat my mistakes. Let me help you.”
For the past two months, everything has been bleak and dark and now there is light. I was stupid before. Made stupid choices. Had a future I willingly threw away. Then I discovered hunger and loneliness and my lone salvation was Haley.
Haley. “I’ll stay at Eastwick and graduate there.”
His face falls. “Worthington is one of the best schools in the state. A diploma from there will open countless doors for you in the future. Eastwick has nothing to offer you.”
It has Haley. “I’m staying there.”
“Are you scared you can’t make the same grades at Worthington? Apply yourself like you have there. The problem has always been within you, and you’re finally motivated.”
My skin crawls like I’m being cornered in a dark alley. “I’m motivated at Eastwick. I like it there and I’m staying.”
“Is this over the girl?”
My chin lifts. “You mean Haley?”
“I sent you into a situation where you could have made every wrong choice and instead you found a way to clean your life up. If we’re mirrors of each other, take my advice. This is a honeymoon perio
d. You’ll do well at first but then sink under the bad influences. You’ve got the motivation now. Let’s get you back to where you belong and keep you from backsliding.”
“I won’t backslide.” Haley is the reason I’m halfway decent.
“From where I sit, the fight today at school is the beginning of the backslide.”
“If we’re mirrors of each other...if there’s more to you and Mom’s story than what you’re saying, then you’ll understand that I have a reason to not backslide.”
“I’m telling you, from experience, a girl can be your worst downfall. It can change your path, but not always in the way you think.”
What the hell?
Dad’s cell pings and he scratches his head when he scans the message. “I’ve got to cut this short. I want you back at Worthington. We’ll work on getting you into U of L. Quit the job at the bar and I’ll find you a position with me. The gym equipment will be here at the end of the week. You can start working out at home.”
I harden into a statue. “I’m not giving up my life.”
“Not your life. You’re returning home after spending two months figuring yourself out. You’re doing okay now, but the people you’re around will cause major damage. You’re capable of more. I know it and now you know it. Your body is here, but you haven’t mentally returned home. You wanted me to ask, so I’m asking now. Come home. Take advantage of everything I can offer.”
Internally I’m screaming as my insides tear in two. This moment... It’s what I’ve craved for years. To hear my dad say he’s proud of me as a son, but the crushing notion that in order to keep his approval, I have to walk away from a life I like... I stand.