“No, I can’t,” I tell her, standing. “We shouldn’t have done this.”
Her face drops, and I feel like shit for hurting her. I know exactly how she feels too because having feelings for someone who doesn’t return them hurts like hell. I don’t want to do that to her.
“You’re cutting me off again, right? Is this how things are going to be between us?” She sits up, pulling the sheets over her bare breasts. “You text me when you want some and then bail on me the next day? We only meet up when it’s convenient for you.” I hear the pain in her voice, which makes me feel like the dick I am.
I look at her, my eyes softening. “I wish I could like you the way you like me, Jenna. It’s not you. You’re everything, the whole package, and I don’t want to lead you on. I’m in this really fucked-up place, and it’s not fair to you. I tried, thought I could let you in, but—” I shrug, feeling defeated and even a little vulnerable that I’m sharing this with her.
Jenna frowns, reading between the lines. “Who is she?”
I feel bile rise in my throat because I didn’t think I was so transparent. Apparently, I was wrong. Shaking my head, I refuse to acknowledge that Lennon is the reason. “No one.”
“You know, if you keep lying to yourself, you’re just going to end up hurt and alone. If this ‘no one’ doesn’t have the same feelings for you that you do her, then why are you still hung up on her? I’m here, ready to give you anything you need. I like you, Hunter. A lot.”
“I know you do,” I admit, squeezing the back of my neck because the tension is building between my shoulders. “That’s why I wanna be honest with you. I thought I was capable of forcing myself to move on, but I realize now I can’t.” I release a deep breath, partly relieved to get that off my chest and partly terrified.
“Let me help you move on,” she says with a seriousness that has me feeling like a piece of shit. “If that’s the only way I can have you, Hunter, then I’ll take it until you get over her. Okay? I’m fine with it.”
“You deserve more than that, Jenna. More than being a second choice.” The irony of this whole fucked-up situation isn’t lost on me. “And at this point, I’m not sure I’ll ever get over her,” I admit honestly before leaving. I schedule an Uber and wait outside, thinking of all the ways I’m fucked. Jenna doesn’t give up easily, and I wish I could give her what she wants and needs, but I’m tired of pretending.
I think back to my sex bucket list I told Hayden about and wonder if that whole thing is what got me into trouble in the first place. I can’t fuck around to get over my feelings for Lennon, and I was a fool for ever thinking I could.
Chapter Nine
Lennon
“Mmm, why do you always smell so good?” Brandon hums as he buries his nose in my hair. His arms wrap around my waist and slide under my shirt as I rinse the dishes in the sink.
I arch my neck, smiling when his palm grabs my breast and squeezes. “Maybe because none of my students threw up today.” One of my students is always sick, so I consider that a win for a Monday.
He chuckles against my skin and presses a soft kiss under my ear. “What do you say we go for a joyride tonight? It’s gonna be a nice evening. Maybe we can ride up the coast, grab some dinner, and watch the sunset?”
“Brandon Jude Locke…” I singsong, drying my hands on a towel. “That sounds awfully romantic.” Suspicion rings in my ears.
He spins me around and cups my cheeks. “Do I need a reason to be romantic for my amazing girlfriend?”
I bring a hand up to his forehead and brush the hair off his face. With a wide smile, I pull his lips to mine. “Of course not. Let me go change real quick, and we can go for a ride.”
He arches a brow with a devilish smirk.
“Not that kinda ride. Down boy,” I tease, dropping my eyes to his crotch. He wraps an arm around my hips and smacks my ass, then takes a handful in his palm.
“But you make it so hard.” He winks, and I burst out laughing.
“You’re relentless.” I push him back slightly, creating space between us before his sex-filled brain takes over, and we never leave.
“You like it.”
I slip out of his grip, laughing, and walk to our room. I change into a pair of jeans, a sweater, and put on socks and boots. It can get chilly on the back of his motorcycle, especially once the sun sets.