“I thought, with him being dead, things would get easier. Sorry,” I murmured.
“Don’t apologise. Saturday was traumatic in its own right. You’ve got to give yourself time. What noise?” he asked helping me lie back in bed.
“Handcuffs. He jangled them in his hand. Don’t ever show me handcuffs again will you?”
“No, Gem. Handcuffs are a hard limit from now on, OK?” he spooned his body around mine. “Try to sleep. Think about red carpets and glamorous Hollywood.”
I closed my eyes and snuggled back against him. I matched my breaths to his and the steady pace sent me back into sleep.
Chapter 20
If ever there was a therapy for the trauma I had suffered then I had been gifted it by Jason: a brand new job and planning a night out. My personal shopper reeled off a list of dress designers’ names and recommended a top hair stylist for me to visit on Thursday afternoon. Thank goodness I was part-time. Jason had good foresight with that idea.
When Martinson opened the car door on Thursday evening, I was wearing a long black gown, resting off my shoulders and my hair was braided up into a high bun. Jason was there to take my hand. He was dressed again in a black bowtie and suit, slightly different fabric and cut, not the same tuxedo as Saturday. He paraded me up the red carpet, camera lights flashing and names been shouted out, thankfully not mine. I was introduced to various people connected with the making of the film including Jason’s director friend, who was visibly appreciative of Jason’s generosity.
The film was quite good, a balance of drama, humour and action based in London. Jason sat through the movie holding my hand gently and the familiar thumb caressed me now and again. I had the temptation to snuggle up to him as if we were teenagers in the local cinema. I kept glancing across at him, trying to catch his eyes, but he was impervious to me and his blue eyes were fixed on the screen. Perhaps he was mentally totting up his profits from this adventure into the world of film making.
After the film credits had finished, Jason led me into the bar at the top of the cinema theatre. The cramped bar was crowded with people, gorgeous women swishing by in their frocks and posing with their suited men. I started to be aware of how uncomfortable I was - a fish out of water. Jason never stepped more than a few paces away from me and I had to deal with an impending visit to the toilet.
“Jason,” I whispered in his ear. “I have to go the ladies room.”
He nodded and let go of my hand.
I walked over to the door, my heart was beating fast. Memories of a fierce slap across the face were returning to me. I breathed a sigh of relief, the room was busy with women, reapplying makeup and congratulating each other on the success of the film. I was completely anonymous to them and I avoided all eye contact. Once done I returned to Jason’s side. He quickly took my hand in his again, offering me a glass of wine. I smiled a thank you.
Time moved forward quickly and the wine must have had an effect on me rather more than I would have wished. The throng of the crowd in their extravagant clothes was casting my mind back to a mirror lined ballroom. I could see the chandelier above my head and the movement of the people around me. The panic started to rise in my throat and the nauseo
us sensation returned. I swayed a fraction and shut my eyes.
“Gemma. We’re leaving now. I’m taking you home,” Jason’s words were clear and softly spoken but full of intent.
I opened my eyes, the panic dissipated. Jason was with me and I was safe.
***
Jason was standing behind me, kissing my neck. He sighed gently and his breath was warm across my skin.
“You smell incredible and taste delicious,” he said. “My gorgeous thing, my delightful toy.”
Did I mind being called his thing or toy? Not in the slightest. It was what I wanted to be feel. The way his words made me wanted and desired drove a fiery furnace inside my belly that was my physical submission.
I squirmed. He was almost tickling me as he licked the back of my neck. His hand slowly began to lower my dress zipper. Down it went to my waist, my hips and then he slipped it off my shoulders, so it dropped to the floor at my feet. I was left in my knickers, stockings and heels. He knelt down and slipped off my shoes, then peeled down my stockings before removing my knickers, allowing me to slip my feet out of them with grace. I turned to face him. He looked smouldering, I reached up and pulled his bowtie lose then flicked it over my shoulder with a small smile.
“Undress me,” he commanded quietly.
I did so slowly. First, his jacket, then unbuttoning his silk shirt and sliding it down his muscular arms. I knelt at his feet and with slightly trembling hands, I undid his trouser zipper and solitary button. A hand gripped my hair, winding his fingers in the loose strands, making my scalp tingled. His clothes fell alongside my dress and looking up at his blue eyes, I passed his boxer shorts, over his upright erection and down on to the floor.
In a few swift moves, we were on the bed and he was on top of me. My legs parted and wrapped around him. I stretched my arms up and held the bed rails, gripping them tightly. We did not say anything, there was nothing to say. I was all his.
***
Jason was peering into the fridge.
“Mrs Harris promised she would leave us something to eat.” He rummaged around and retrieved two Clingfilm covered dishes. “Mmmmm. Look’s good.”
We were back at Blythewood House and it seemed ages since we last were at the country mansion. I could not adapt to the two separate houses. Jason suggested treating them as one big house in two locations. I shook my head at him and reminded him he had been living the dual house life for several years.
The food went quickly and yet again I was tidying up the kitchen, returning it to a spotless condition. I found Jason in the sitting room, in front of a blazing fire. He had changed into casual clothes and was lounging in an armchair. His head thrown back and eyes shut. He looked asleep but I knew he was not. What he did look was tense, wound up and weary. He had given me all his energy and attention this week. I needed to pay him back. I quietly undressed. He did not move or appear to notice. Then I was there at his feet kneeling with my head bowed. I waited and after a few minutes, he stirred and focused his attention on me. I could sense his all-seeing stare penetrating me.