“I really don’t want to,” she said, looking down at her hands which were clenched into fists. She didn’t want to bring up those old demons.
“Okay, baby, it’s all right. You don’t have to.” Dylan hugged her close and she realized there were tears dripping down her face. She buried her face against his neck.
She was hiding again. Taylor had tried to help her with this, tried to get her to open up. But Tilly had always hidden from things that really scared her.
Maybe now was the time to be brave. She pulled away to stare up at him.
“He used to call me fat all the time,” she confessed in a whisper. “That’s why I have such issues with the way I look. He’d tell me I needed to diet. He had this list…” she swallowed, unable to go on.
“List?”
Licking her lips, she lowered her gaze in shame. “A list of things I had to improve on. I had to slim down my thighs, tighten my ass, do stomach crunches. I had to learn to cook well, to be a proper wife, to be more obedient.”
Dylan swore harshly and she glanced up at him in surprise.
“Asshole.”
“Oh, that’s not the worst of it.” Was she really going to tell him this? “He put the list on the fridge door. Every time his friends came over…” She swallowed heavily, unable to continue.
“Shh, Tilly. It’s okay. You’re all right. Shh.” Dylan just held her. Finally, she sat up and took in some deep breaths.
“Sorry,” she said hoarsely.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he told her. “You know that was all bullshit, don’t you? You’re absolutely beautiful. He was just a fuckwad who was trying to bring you down.”
“Logically I know all of that. It’s just sometimes my old insecurities rear up, you know?”
“I understand. But I’m going to be reminding you just how beautiful you are every chance I get until one day those ugly thoughts are completely gone from your head.”
She clasped his face in her hands and leaning in, kissed him. “Thank you.”
“You’re most definitely welcome.”
“I can’t quite believe he’s dead. It’s going to take a while to sink in. He was so charming in the beginning. It was just small things at first. He’d criticize my clothes or my hair or my friends. By the time I figured out what he was doing, I couldn’t see a way out. Things got to the point where he didn’t let me leave the house without him. I wasn’t to call anyone or let anyone in that he hadn’t already approved of.”
“What about your family? What did they think of him?”
“They didn’t like him. But at the time my brothers were living somewhere else or busy. They all tried to talk me out of moving in with him, but I thought I was in love.” She snorted.
He clasped her face in his hands. “You were just a kid and he took advantage of you. He’s the one at fault. Not you.”
She was silent for a long moment before she nodded. “I know. You know, I’ve had enough of talking about him. Shall we head to the club?”
Dylan studied her. “Are you sure you want to go tonight? We could just stay here and watch a movie. I’m happy with whatever you want to do.”
Could he and Javier be any different?
“No, I want to do this. I’ve been looking forward to it all week. I’m not going to allow him to take anything more from me.”
“Brave girl,” he said admiringly. “All right, let’s go.”
***
Tilly took a deep breath in to calm her nerves. Her phone rang as she placed it in one of the lockers in the dressing room of Club Decadence. She took a glimpse at the number but didn’t recognize it. With a shrug, she stuck it in the locker without answering. Probably a wrong number.
She checked her appearance one last time, making sure there was no lipstick on her teeth or toilet paper stuck to her shoe. She was dressed as Dylan d requested in a short, black skirt and her red corset. The corset sucked in her stomach and made her waist appear smaller. Her breasts spilled out the top.
“You look hot,” Tara told her as she stood next to her, fixing her long hair into a braid.