“It won’t.”
“I also know that we haven’t known each other long and that trust can take time. So I’m not mad at you, Mari-girl. Okay? Just a bit disappointed.”
Jeez. She thought that might be worse. In fact, she was sure it was. What could she do to make things better?
You could ask him to punish you.
Okay, that might be taking things a step too far. She wasn’t even sure that he wanted her anymore. Or that he wanted that sort of a relationship. Even though he’d asked her whether she read books with BDSM in them, he’d never said that he was into it. Or really mentioned it again.
She forced herself to eat some more. “I’m just not used to relying on other people. For anything. We moved around so much that I never put down roots anywhere. I was always the hanger-on. The extra. The poor relative. To be pitied and picked-on at school. Ignored or yelled at when at home. Nobody stuck around. None of my aunt’s husbands or boyfriends, except for Saber. None of our staff. The only person I can ever remember caring about me was Harry. And Ana.”
“Harry was your aunt’s ex? The guy who took you on your only picnic?”
“Yeah. He was kind to me. I was devastated when he kicked Rosalind out. I begged her to let me stay with him. She told me that I was the reason he was divorcing her. That I was too needy and annoying and that he couldn’t be bothered with me anymore.”
“What the fuck?” he snapped. “Sorry for my language.”
That was so cute.
“I’m not sure if she was telling the truth. She likely said it to shut me up or hurt me. But I can’t help thinking that if he’d cared for me at all, he would have tried to see me again. Or contact me.” She shrugged, trying to play off the pain. But it was still there. Even after all these years.
“Maybe she wouldn’t let him.” He reached across the table and took hold of her hand. She’d eaten as much as she could. “That sounds like the sort of thing she’d do.”
“Yeah, you’re likely right. I’m used to people leaving me, Linc. Or being forced to leave them. People don’t want to stick around.”
“Look at me, Marisol.”
She stared into his intense gaze. “I’m not going anywhere. I brought you back here with me because I care about you. My feelings for you haven’t changed. I still want a relationship with you.”
“You do? You still
want me?”
“Yes,” he said firmly. “I’m attracted to you. I want you. I think you’re gorgeous, smart, funny and kind. I can’t get too upset with you for holding back because I’ve been doing the same. I haven’t been upfront about exactly who I am and what sort of relationship I want.”
She frowned at that. “Did you lie to me?”
He shook his head. “I never lied. I was just waiting to see if there were signs you wanted this sort of relationship too. And I think you do. But that talk can wait a bit until you’re settled in. Besides, I don’t have the time right now. But I need you to trust me enough to let me protect you.”
“I do trust you,” she said. “That’s not why I never said anything about Tiger. I just wanted to protect you.”
“Which is sweet. But remember I’m an old-fashioned guy. I protect you. I have the means to protect you. But to do that, I need you to open up with me. Right. I’ve got to get back to work. Your phone is dead, right?”
“Yes, I don’t have the charger. I don’t think I should use it anyway. It’s my aunt’s old phone and she still pays the bill. She might be able to track it. Should I contact her? Let her know that I’m safe?”
“I suppose that’s up to you. But I want to be here when you call her. Why don’t you take some time to think about it today?”
“Yeah, okay.” Even though her relationship with her aunt wasn’t great, she felt like maybe she owed it to her to let her know she was safe.
Then again, she had told her to give Tiger whatever he wanted. So maybe she owed her nothing. And it wasn’t like she would report her missing. Rosalind hated the police.
“Help yourself to anything you want while I’m gone. Call me if you need me. I’ll write down my phone number. I’d also like that list you were going to write me about anything I need to watch out for with your diabetes and what to do. I’ve done a bit of research already, but there might be something I’ve missed. I’ll check on you throughout the day. Let’s get you settled on the sofa with the TV remote. Today, you’re doing nothing but resting and taking care of yourself. Understand me?”
So bossy.
“Okay,” she whispered.
“That’s my good girl.”