Did Professor Holt not believe Enzo’s story? Or is the transmitter in Damone’s bracelet sending out a faint signal that shows he is somewhere nearby? Either way, I suspect this search isn’t just a method of looking for Damone. Professor Holt knows about the rebel students. This might be her way of causing anxiety and maybe stirring them to action so she can have them removed.
“She says she’s making sure all avenues to find Damone are explored, but I get the feeling she’s looking for something.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know.” But his eyes say something different. “At least one student has disappeared every year that I’ve been attending the University. This is the first search like this I’ve seen. Professor Holt must have a reason.” Ian’s tone warns me that more is going on here than is being said. Perhaps Professor Holt’s search has indeed spurred the student rebels to act on their own. “Also, until further notice, students are not allowed to leave campus for any reason. She has asked Dr. Barnes to post officials at the University gates to serve as a reminder to students who might otherwise forget.”
Extra Safety officials. A ban on leaving campus. Both will make aiding President Collindar more difficult if not impossible. I should feel relief that I now have a valid excuse for not being able to fulfill the president’s assignment. But I don’t. I feel cornered and helpless.
“When will we be allowed to resume our internships?” I ask. “There are things I’ve been asked to do.”
Ian pushes his plate away and turns toward me. “Whatever assignments you’ve been given can wait until this whole thing passes. I get the feeling things are going to be different soon. Just go to class, do your homework, and sit tight. Okay?”
His eyes hold mine. Just for a fraction of a second, but it is enough for me to know that there is a deeper meaning to his words. He is confirming what I have believed since I was first assigned to Government Studies and Ian offered me assistance. Ian is one of the rebels. Which means he must have weapons somewhere nearby. Is he concerned Professor Holt will find them? If so, he is good at hiding his apprehension. I wonder whether that would be the case if he knew the rebellion he follows is being undermined.
When Michal was transferred to the president’s office, he told me a friend would be near to watch over me. I believe Ian is that friend. If so, telling him what happened to Michal and warning him about Symon’s true purpose in creating the rebellion could make Ian an ally. But there is an equally good chance that his dedication to the rebel cause will make him discount what I say. Worse, he could report my words back to Symon or act as Zeen suggested and eliminate the threat he might think I pose to the rebel plan. The president told me that whom I put my faith in will affect not only my life but the lives of those around me. Knowing that, I find it impossible to decide. Do I take the chance of gaining another ally—one who might be able to help convince other rebels to ignore Symon’s directives—or wait to learn more?
For the first time, I find myself wishing that Ian had gone through The Testing with me. Knowing the choices he made during his Testing would help me now.
The thought shocks me. The Testing is wrong. Wishing that I knew what decisions Ian made during his Testing is wrong. And yet, despite the horrific nature of the tests, I think of what The Testing taught me about myself and about my fellow candidates. I understand that when pushed, I can shove back. That I am stronger and more resourceful than I ever thought possible. That my willingness to assume everyone believes in the values with which this country was founded and I was raised is flawed.
I think of Professor Holt and her statement that The Testing should be made even more strenuous. Of Dr. Barnes and his belief that The Testing’s purpose succeeds when the pressure of the tests causes a girl to take her own life. Of Symon, who has chosen to lead those who want change—boys like Ian and my brother—to kill even as he facilitates their own deaths.
Ian stands. “Are you done, Cia?”
I look down at the mostly full plate in front of me. But when I say, “Yes, I’ve had enough,” I know I am referring to so much more.
Chapter 6
THE SUN IS bright. The vibrant green grass looks cool and inviting as I stride across it to an unoccupied area not far from the bridge. I want to be close to the only exit from this area in case I have forgotten something in my room and safety officials come for me. I doubt I would be able to flee, but I won’t let them take me without a fight.
The two officials on the other side of the ravine watch me as I look for a spot where I can settle. Some students who have chosen to treat being banned from their rooms as a holiday from work play a game of catch not far from the weeping willow tree. Others sit in groups, quietly talking. A few, like me, have gone off on their own, reading from books they must have brought with them to the morning mealtime.
For a moment, I stare off in the distance toward the Biological Engineering residence where Tomas is. I want nothing more than to go to him. To find out if his residence is also being searched. To tell him what I have learned and what I have been asked to do. To share the burden of the decision that deep in my heart I have made. Will he approve? Will he stand beside me and help me complete this test as he has done so many times before, or will this crackdown of University officials convince him once and for all it is time to run?
I don’t know.
But I know I cannot succeed in bringing down The Testing alone. For that I require help. I need people who are not only capable of doing what I ask, but whom I know I can trust.
“Where did you go yesterday afternoon?” The soft-spoken words make me turn, and I see Raffe standing next to a small sapling. “You were supposed to stay inside.”
Had I done so, I would not be planning what I am now. One choice has led to so many others.
“Too much had happened for me to stay in my room. So I took a ride to clear my head.” I’m getting good at telling shades of the truth.
“And now you have a plan.”
Instead of answering the implied question, I say, “While I was riding yesterday, I ended up going down a street that looked as if it hadn’t been repaired in some time. Are there a lot of streets like that near the University?”
“A few. Although not as many as there are on the other side of the city. There are more government officials in this area, so there are fewer areas that have not been kept in good repair. My father doesn’t even notice those streets exist.”
His father.
“But you’ve seen them.”
Raffe shrugs. “I made a point of visiting some of those neighborhoods last year. I was hoping I’d find some answers.”
I wait for him to tell me what answers he sought and what he found. When he doesn’t, I say, “The street I rode down is ten minutes from campus. A lot of the houses had graffiti on them.”