Amara needed time, and I was trying to give her that. But fuck, I missed her and wanted to take care of her. I just needed to see her, hold her, and make sure she was okay and had what she needed.
I was out of breath as I pushed into her apartment building and raced up the stairs instead of waiting for the slow-ass elevator. I worked out with the guys all the time, but right then, my lungs were on fire because for the first time in my life, I was fighting a panic attack. Something was wrong, or Riley never would have told me to come over.
I pounded against the door with my first as I bent in half, trying to suck in enough oxygen to get my heart to calm down. There was no immediate answer, so I started pounding again and didn’t stop until Riley opened the door.
The first thing I saw was the tears running down her pale face. There was heartbreak in her ey
es, and it only drove my panic higher. “She’s leaving,” Riley whispered, her chin trembling.
My racing heart stopped completely, making it impossible to draw another breath.
“She won’t tell me where she’s going or how long she will be gone. You have to talk to her, Cash. Now.” She lowered her gaze to the floor. “Ask her… Ask her what the doctor said.”
“What did the doctor say?” I choked out, confused.
Riley shook her dark head and stepped back. “She’s in her room packing. Just talk to her…and ask her yourself.”
I used the end of my shirt to wipe the sweat off my face as I hurried through the apartment to Amara’s room. As I got closer, I heard Amara moving around. The door was half open, and I stopped to watch her for a minute. There were two suitcases open on her bed, and she was folding clothes to put in one. Turning, she grabbed a picture frame off her bedside table and frowned down at it.
“I get it,” she muttered sadly to the picture. “You had to go. I have to go too. Just wish you would have said bye.”
“Where are you going, Dreamer?” I demanded, my voice hoarse.
Startled, she dropped the picture frame and looked up at me with huge fawn eyes. Her surprise quickly turned into a glare. “What are you doing here?”
My eyes were drinking in the sight of her. Her skin was pale, and she had dark circles under her eyes that looked like bruises. She’d lost weight, and her clothes were practically wearing her. The heavy walking boot on her foot looked out of place on her small foot. “Riley told me you were leaving.”
“Riley!” she yelled. “Fucking traitor.”
“Not sorry!” Riley yelled back from the living room.
“Can’t trust anyone around here,” she grumbled to herself as she bent to pick up the picture frame and dropped it into the suitcase with most of her clothes.
“Where are you going?” I repeated.
She shrugged carelessly. “I’m not allowed to say. It’s work-related for Emmie.”
“Emmie?” I lifted my brows, unsure of what to make of this new development. “So, you took the job?”
She shrugged again, keeping her back to me as she straightened a few things in the case. “She didn’t leave me much choice. And once I thought about her offer, I realized she was right. I do need to get away and clear my head.”
I ached to touch her, and before I even realized I was doing it, I was wrapping my arms around her from behind. She stiffened then melted back against me. For ten full seconds, she let me hold her, let me breathe in the clean scent of her hair, the sweet smell of lotion on her skin. For ten seconds, I was at peace for the first time since I’d turned around and seen her standing outside my bedroom door. My entire world had collapsed and burned to ashes when I realized I’d officially fucked everything up with the only person who mattered.
She belonged in my arms.
I touched my lips to her neck. “Don’t hate me,” I pleaded softly in her ear.
“Cash.” She turned her head, forcing me to remove my lips from her, so I touched them to the top of her head instead. “I don’t hate you,” she whispered after a moment. “Life won’t let me hate you.”
Hope burned in my gut. “Really?”
Her hands covered mine at her waist and pulled them from around her. “Really.”
“Nothing happened with Lindsey.” I needed her to understand that. “I didn’t care about her. She was nothing to me.”
Her shoulders tensed, but she nodded. “Yeah. I get it.”
But I could tell that nothing had changed with her. I could see it in her eyes as she lifted her chin and met my gaze. “What do I need to do to get you back, Dreamer?”