“Because I can set you up. I know a guy…”
And it’s not until his lips curl into a grin, that I realize he’s joking, and I settle back with relief.
“But the thing is,” Damen says, back to being serious again. “In the end, it’s pretty much all the same. I may live for centuries, you may live for three quarters of a century, but both of us will always find ourselves preoccupied with whatever’s immediately before us—or, more often than not, whatever seems just out of reach…”
We sit there in silence, the words hanging heavy between us, as I gaze down at my knees, too uncomfortable to look anywhere else. Knowing that this is the moment we came for, that Damen’s fully prepared to offer whatever explanation or apology Jude might demand.
But Jude just sits there, picking at a stray paper clip he found on his desk, twisting, and bending, and totally reshaping it until it’s completely unrecognizable from its original form.
Finally looking up when he says, “I get it.” He glances between us, focusing on me until I lift my head and meet his gaze. “Really, I do.” His face so sincere I’ve no doubt he means it. “But if you came here to apologize or try to make up for it or—whatever—you should probably forget it.”
I suck in my breath, as Damen sits perfectly still, waiting for him to continue.
“I mean, I’m not gonna lie, the whole thing sucks for me.” He tries to laugh but doesn’t quite make it. His heart isn’t in it. “But still, I really do get it. I know it wasn’t just a matter of playing fair or not playing fair. I know it wasn’t just about your immense wealth and magick tricks. And I also know it was probably extremely unfair of me to pretend that it was. Because the thing is, Ever isn’t that shallow. Neither was Evaline or any of the rest of them.” His eyes meet mine, and they’re filled with such warmth and kindness and love, it’s impossible to look away. “The only reason I never stood a chance with her is because it was never meant to be me. It was always supposed to be the two of you.”
I exhale slowly, my shoulders sinking, stomach settling, releasing a tension I wasn’t even aware I was holding ’til now.
“And the fire—” Damen starts, desperate to explain that as well.
But Jude dismisses it just as quickly, waving his hand before us. “I know about that too—thanks to Summerland and the Great Halls of Learning.” He shrugs. “I’ve been spending a lot of time there lately, maybe too much time, or at least that’s been Ava’s concern. But, sometimes, well, sometimes, or at least lately anyway, I’d rather be there than here. I guess that’s why I’m so fascinated by your extra long life. I mean, I don’t know how you do it when there are definitely times when the regular life span feels like more than enough, you know?”
Damen nods. Telling Jude he most certainly does know, knows all too well. Then he launches into the story about his first trip to Summerland, back when he was lost, and lonely and looking for some sort of deeper meaning, and found himself studying in India alongside the Beatles. And having already heard it myself, like a thousand times before, I quietly get up, let myself out, and head back into the store, curious to see what Ava’s been up to.
Finding her off in the corner, restocking a shelf full of crystals when she turns to me and says, “All’s well that ends well, right?”
I shrug, having no idea what she’s referring to.
“Your choice.” She smiles, turning back toward the shelf. “It must feel good to have that all figured out, no?”
I sigh. Because while there’s no doubt that it definitely does feel good to put it behind me, the thing with problems is, there’s never any shortage in the supply. As soon as one gets solved, another crops up in its place.
She digs her hand into a bag of rose quartz crystals, the crystal of love, balancing a generous pile of chunks in her palm when she glances at me and says, “But…” Purposely dragging the word out for as long as she can.
“But…” I shrug, hand darting forward, catching a falling stone and handing it back to her. “There’s still Haven, who’s getting more and more out of control, and then, of course, there’s still the antidote, and the fact that Damen and I can’t really, truly touch…” Not outside of the pavilion anyway, but I’m not about to let her in on that. “And then there’s—”
She looks at me, brow raised, patiently waiting, as I quickly weigh whether or not I should confide in her about the dark side of Summerland I’ve discovered, and the strange, seemingly demented old lady Damen and I ran across.
But something keeps me from doing so. Something tells me not to go there with her. Or at least not yet anyway. Not until we’ve had a chance to investigate a little further.
So I take a deep breath, lift an amethyst cluster off the shelf and carefully inspect it from all sides, as I say, “Well, you know, that whole drama with Sabine is still alive and well.” Shaking my head as I return the stone to its place, knowing that while it wasn’t exactly a lie, it wasn’t quite the truth either. It’s not bothering me nearly as much as it used to. Sadly, I’m getting used to living like that.
“Would you like me to speak to her?” she offers, but I quickly dismiss it.
“Trust me, it won’t work. Her mind is made up, and I have a feeling time may be the only cure.”
She nods, wiping her hands on the front of her jeans as she stands back to inspect the shelf. Head tilted, mouth twisted to the side, as she switches the apache’s tear with the phantom quartz, then smiles approvingly.
And when I look at her, I mean really look at her, I can’t help but wonder why she’s always alone. I mean, she has the twins to look after, so I guess she’s not really alone-alone, but still, ever since I met her, she’s been decidedly single, and from what I can tell, she hasn’t gone out on even one date.
And before I can stop it, I say, “Do you think everyone has a soul mate?”
She turns, regarding me seriously.
“I mean, do you think everyone has that one person they’re destined to be with—like Damen and me?”
She’s silent for a moment, as though she’s really taking the time to consider. And just when I’m sure she’s not going to answer, she does something I definitely wasn’t expecting—she bursts out in laughter.
Her whole face lifting, her eyes glinting, when she looks at me and says, “Why? Who are you worried about more here, Ever, me or Jude?”