eleven
“What the hell, Ever? You drop out of school and forget to tell me?”
I glance up from the register where I’m busy ringing up a sale, only to find Miles lurking behind my squinty-eyed, not-one-bit-amused customer.
Taking a moment to shoot him my very best not now look, as I charge her credit card and wrap her books and meditation CDs in some purple tissue paper, before I slide them into a matching bag and send her on her way.
“Nice one.” I nod, the words competing with the bell clanking hard against the door as she leaves. “I’m sure we won’t be seeing her again anytime soon.”
Miles waves it away, dismissing the thought with a shrug as he says, “Whatever. Trust me, I’ve got much more important things to discuss than Jude’s bank statement.”
“Yeah? Like what?” I shove the receipt into the purple box where we store them, aware of Miles’s gaze weighing heavily, waiting for me to acknowledge it so he can get on with the real reason for his visit.
“Well, like you, for instance.” He watches me settle onto the stool, crossing my arms before me. Careful to keep my gaze neutral, expressionless, as though I’m not at all anxious or worried, as though I’m just patiently waiting for him to continue. “I mean, for one thing, except for the very first day, I’ve yet to see you at school. Which means you haven’t been going to school, because as it just so happens, I’ve been looking for you. Waiting outside your classes, next to your locker, at the lunch table, but—nothing, niente, you so haven’t been there.”
I shrug, unwilling to confirm or deny—at least not just yet anyway. First I need to see just how strong a case he plans to build against me.
“And even though I’m sure you’ll probably try to claim that you have your reasons, that your extended absence—your super-sized summer if you will—are pretty much none of my business, I just want you to know that you’re wrong. It is my business. In fact, it is very much my business. Because, as your friend, as one of your very best friends, I’m here to tell you that your no-show silent treatment is affecting not just me but all of us. Even the people you don’t consider your friends—believe it or not—it’s affecting them too.”
I shrug. Unsure what to say, but knowing it’s not really time for that anyway. Miles loves nothing more than an extended monologue, and from the signs of it, this one is nowhere near coming to a close.
“You know, people like me—and Damen—and, well, maybe not so much Haven anymore, but still, never mind that, we’ll get to it later. What I’m trying to say is that it’s like you’re just—” He pauses, thumbs hooked in the front tabs of his jeans as he gazes all around, searching for just the right word. Finally returning to me when he says, “It’s like you’re just totally ignoring us. Like you’ve dismissed us. Like you’ve ceased to even care about us—”
“Miles—” I start, pressing my lips together as I try to think of the best way to continue. “Listen, I get what you’re saying. Really I do. And believe me, I totally get why you might see it that way, but trust me, there’s a lot more to it than you might think. Way more than you could ever even begin to imagine. I mean, seriously, if I was to tell you the real truth behind all of this—” I close my eyes and shake my head, knowing that half the time I’m hardly able to believe it myself. “Anyway, I can’t really get into it, but just trust me when I say that if you knew even a fraction of what was really going on, well, you’d definitely be thanking me for keeping you out of it.” I pause, allowing enough time for my words to sink in, hoping he’ll see just how serious I am. “And while I’m really sorry that you feel like I’m ignoring you, and that I don’t care about you, it’s not at all true. Seriously, not even a bit. You’re pretty much the only real friend I have left at this point. And I really want to make it up to you, and I promise I will. Soon. For sure. But right now I’m just…I’m just a little…preoccupied, that’s all.”
“And what about Damen? You gonna make it up to him too?”
I look at him, not even trying to bury my shock. I mean, I cannot believe he’s seriously choosing to confront me with that.
“Please don’t assume you know more than you do,” I say, my voice a little harsher than I intended. “There’s a lot more to it. Stuff you don’t understand. Nothing is anywhere near as simple as it may seem on the surface, and believe me, this goes way beyond that—the roots are pretty dang deep.”
He gazes down at the ground, digging the toe of his shoe into the carpeted floor, taking a moment to collect his thoughts, decide just the right way to confront me, before he lifts his head, looks me right in the eye, and says, “And would one of those things that I can’t possibly understand have anything to do with the fact that you’re—?”
Our eyes meet, leaving me frozen, unable to breathe. The word speeding toward me, crashing straight into my energy field before it can even leave his lips.
And there’s nothing I can do about it, no way to rewind or stop him from saying:
“Immortal?”
His gaze locks on mine, and no matter how much I may want to, I can’t look away.
My skin is prickled with cold when he adds, “Or is it the fact that you’re psychic? Gifted with all manner of mental and physical powers. Or maybe it’s the fact that you’ll stay young and beautiful forever. Never aging, never dying, just like your sidekick Damen, who’s been around for six hundred years and counting and who only just recently decided to turn you like him?” His eyes narrow, as his gaze sweeps my face. “Tell me, Ever, am I on the right track? Are these the things you were referring to?”
“How did—” I start.
But the words are drowned out by his voice when he says, “Oh, and let’s not forget about Drina, who, as it turns out, was also immortal. And then, of course, there was Roman as well. Not to mention Marco, Misa, and Rafe—the three somewhat annoying tagalongs Haven’s chosen to hang with for whatever unknown reason. And, I can’t believe I almost forgot to mention the most recent addition to the gang of the eternally beautiful—our dear friend Haven herself. Or, should I say, my dear friend, your newfound immortal enemy—even though you’re the one who chose to make her like you? Is this the kind of stuff I couldn’t possibly begin to understand?”
I swallow hard, stunned into silence and unable to think of anything better to do than sit there and stare. And even though I mostly feel horrified to have it all laid out before me like that—the accumulated facts of my very strange life revealed in a way so neutral, so ordinary, it hardly seems real, even to me—there’s also a small part of me that’s relieved.
I’ve been carrying this secret for so long, I can’t help but feel lighter, brighter, as though I’ve finally been freed of a burden that was far too heavy to bear on my own.
But Miles isn’t finished. He’s only just begun. So I shake my head and refocus on his words, struggling to keep up when he says, “And the ironic thing is, if you really stop and think about it, if you really stop and ponder it in a methodical, logical way, well then, I think it’s pretty clear that I’m the one who should be avoiding you.”
I squint, not quite following how he arrived at that conclusion but knowing he’s about to explain.
“I mean, imagine how it feels to find out that the friends I thought I knew so well, the same friends I felt confident sharing everything with, are not only not at all what they appear to be, but that they’re also, every single one of them, members of a super-exclusive, super-secret club. A club where, it’s pretty dang obvious that everyone is welcome. Everyone but me.” He stops, shaking his head as he moves toward the front of the store, gazing out the display windows at the sun-dappled street just beyond. His voice bearing the burden of his words when he says, “I gotta tell ya, Ever, it hurts. Make no mistake. It really and truly hurts me to the core. I mean, the way I see it, which is the only way anyone could see it, but still, the way I see it, it’s like you don’t want me to be immortal too. It’s like you don’t want to know me, or even be my friend, for anyth
ing even close to resembling eternity.”