“Before what happened?” I ask cluelessly.
“I heard you were absent for a bit yourself while I was gone,” he continues. “According to the other girls on our team. If I didn’t know any better…I’d think someone wanted me out of the way for something.” He lets the idea hang there, studying me carefully.
“I wondered the same thing myself,” I reply gingerly.
We exchange a knowing nod before he walks away. I think we both know better than to say too much more about it right now. But that brief conversation told me everything I needed to know. He was the only person in the school who would have my back over the Elites. And that’s exactly why they made sure he was gone during the final stages of their plan. They knew I would go to him in desperation.
But what I really want to know is…could he have helped? Is that why they needed to make sure I couldn’t confide in him when I needed it the most? I don’t want to know what they did to make sure he’d be gone. I’m just glad those days are over. And that now I know he's a safe haven for anything that may come up in the future. Hopefully none of us ever have to be so careful again.
I walk across the black, cracked pavement navigating around cars that are coming and going from the painted white spaces. I have started parking closer to the building now, despite the assigned parking. No one seems to care now that the Elites are out of the way.
Much like my home has become more comforting to me than ever before, long walks like this are more precious. I close my eyes and lean my head back, feeling the warm sun on my face. Relishing in the freedom to come and go as I please without worrying who is waiting for me around the corner.
It’s well into fall now and I have to wear a hoodie when I’m not running. I curl into the warmth and comfort of it around my skin. All of these small things have become so big after wondering if I would ever live to see another day.
Suddenly, I think I catch a glimpse of Lily in the distance, but she disappears around the corner before I can even think about catching up to her. I hope when the time is right, things will be easier to mend with her now. But I’m giving her the same space I requested of Emmett.
I wonder when Emmett will come back to school. And when he does, if he’ll be different. He has to be. Everything is different now.
* * *
A few days later, I see Lily sitting alone in the lunchroom. The social dynamics of school have changed completely now. All of the Elites have still been absent, including Emmett.
Still dealing with the aftermath of all their families have been implicated in and Thomas’ death. At least for a little while, none of us have to worry about being seen talking to the wrong person. Everyone is much more relaxed. The laughter echoing through the rooms sounds less menacing. Kids seems to be talking about normal things again now that they’re not terrified and wrapped up in the game of the Elites.
I take the opportunity to approach Lily’s table, thinking maybe things will be different between us now. I stand there for a moment, my tray in my hands, trying to read her receptiveness. “Mind if I sit?” I ask finally, after she tries to ignore my presence.
“Go ahead,” she answers, not looking up from her sandwich as she takes another bite.
I slide in across from her and start picking at the food on my tray, cutting my eyes up to her every few seconds. “I guess you’ve heard about everything that’s happened?” I question her carefully.
“Thomas Jameson is dead,” she replies curtly.
I nod, hoping she’ll say more from there. “I’m surprised you didn’t come talk to me when you found out. It’s big news after all.” But we fall back to silence. “So, did it help your situation at all?”
A smile curls across her lips, giving me hope. “Actually…I got a call from Julliard a few days after it happened,” she gushes, still holding back from being too warm with me. “I’ve been accepted on full scholarship. They claimed the rescinded interest was a mistake.”
“Lily, that’s amazing!” I shriek, wishing things would go back to the way they were before between us. “And the other schools? Did you hear from any of them?”
“That’s what’s funny about it,” she continues, turning cold again. “Julliard was the only one to call.”
“I guess that is a little funny,” I nod cluelessly. “But good…because that’s the only one you cared about, right?”
She looks back down to her tray, spitting out a bite of food in disgust before going quiet yet again. I am completely lost as to why she still hates me or why she’s being weird about the school calling.
“Come on, Lily…the Elites are gone. There’s no reason to be angry with me anymore. It’s not like they can punish you for being friendly to me now. We’re free,” my eyes light up optimistically, but she seems unconvinced.
“The only person left who has the kind of sway to turn things around with Julliard like that is Emmett,” she proposes in an accusatory tone. “And the only person who knew Julliard was my top choice was you.”
“What are you getting at?” I cut my eyes upwards and shake my head. Refusing to believe that Emmett would do anything nice for anyone. Especially after the way he has tried to keep Lily and I apart.
“What happened with you and Emmett?” she sneers. “You two must have got awfully close for him to want to do something like that for me.”
“There’s nothing going on with us,” I defend bitterly. “I didn’t even know about any of this until you told me. I had nothing to do with it, I swear.”
“Well…that’s hard to believe, but I sure hope it’s true,” she bites back. “Emmett is a monster. I would hate for the Elites to get taken down just so you can become the new Vivian.”
“Don’t be ridiculous!” I snap, the tremor in my voice sounding too defensive. “I could never be like her! I can’t believe you’d even suggest something like that.” I watch her tear away pieces of a roll only to throw them down again, forming a tiny pile of torn crumbs. “A lot has happened, Lily. I wish I had you to talk to during some of it. You probably could have helped.”