“The bruises on your face heal nicely. They will soon be gone,” Elsa said and though she easily changed the subject, it was not so easily dismissed. And Dawn knew it would linger there to haunt her, especially if she was with child, for there would be no way that she would abort her babe.
“You are feeling well?” Elsa asked.
Dawn forced a smile, nodded vigorously then jumped up, gesturing before she slipped on her cloak.
“You’re going to visit Lila.”
Dawn nodded, relieved that Elsa understood her. All she wanted to do was leave and rush to talk with Lila. She kept her smile tight and nodded her thanks to Elsa as she walked to the door.
“Dawn,” Elsa said before her hand touched the latch.
Dawn kept her chin high and her smile bright as she acknowledged the woman with a nod.
“I am a healer and I am here to help. I hope you will remember that and come to me whenever you feel the need.”
Dawn saw sincerity in the woman’s soft blue eyes but there was also sadness there and that disturbed Dawn. Elsa knew as well as she did that no matter what either of them decided that in the end Cree would have the final word.
Dawn rested her hand to chest and nodded.
“You are most welcome, and please do visit again.”
Dawn gave another nod and out the door she went. Neil was immediately at her side and followed along as she made her way to Lila’s cottage. She had intentions of discussing the matter with her friend but when she recalled the predicament she had placed Lila in the last time she had foolishly complained to her, she thought twice.
Besides did she truly want anyone, even her dearest friend to know how Cree felt about her carrying his child? It was best she kept this to herself and so she wore a smile when Lila opened the door and greeted her with a hug.
Neil waited outside, though Dawn brought him a hot cider to keep him warm while he stood guard.
Dawn was disappointed that Thomas was asleep in his cradle or perhaps it was better that he was. If she held him she might break into tears thinking that she would never have the pleasure of holding her own babe.
Lila started talking as soon as Dawn had entered, chattering on about what a wonderful babe Thomas was and she hoped to have many more like him. Dawn listened, smiling, nodding, and gesturing now and again.
“Enough,” Lila said, “what’s wrong?”
Dawn’s smile faded and her shoulders sagged. She should have known better than to think she could hide anything from Lila, though his time…
Dawn shook her head.
“Don’t think you can keep anything from me. Tell me. We will talk and you will feel better.”
It was tempting to spew all her frustration and worries to Lila as she had done many times through the years, but it was different now. She could not take the chance. And so she shook her head again.
Lila reached out and placed her hand over Dawn’s. “We have shared everything. We have laughed and cried together. There isn’t anything you don’t know about me or I don’t know about you. The only reason I can think of you not telling me is to keep from placing me in a difficult position.”
Dawn’s smile was brief and her eyes teary when she nodded and squeezed her friend’s hand.
“It’s not fair. Life has improved for all except you.”
Dawn shook her head and scrunched her brow. With gestures Lila easily understood, she told her that life was not bad for her. That she had much to be grateful for and she was happy that the village and villagers were prospering.
“Cree ordered plaids to be weaved for all. He is having more spindles and distaffs made and he has appointed me to gather other weavers and oversee the project that will take the winter to complete. He wants to unify us as a clan.” Lila sighed. “I feel a traitor to you, Dawn. I am grateful that Cree is here and life has improved but I hate that you have been forced into a situation that has no…” She shook her head.
Happy ending, Dawn finished what her friend couldn’t. She suddenly felt confined, trapped, a prisoner more now than she ever had and the need to escape overpowered her. She stood abruptly and grabbed her cloak.
“Stay, Thomas will be awake soon and he so loves when you hold him.”
The last thing she wanted to do was hold a babe. She shook her head, slipped her cloak on, and hurried out of the cottage to bump into Old Mary.
“I’ve been looking for you,” the old woman said and slipped her arm around Dawn’s forcing her to follow along. “I owe you much.”
Dawn shook her head. She didn’t want to hear from anyone else how good life had become for them. She wanted to go back to her cottage, not her home, but a cottage Cree had forced on her and let her misery consume her.