Mom laughed, covering my mouth with her hand. “Fuck D.J.”
“Did something happen?”
Her hand fell away from my face. “Isn’t something always happening with him?”
“I thought you two just made up, though?”
She shrugged. “Maybe I didn’t want to make up this time. Maybe I’m ready to let him go.”
“Wait, seriously?”
“Seriously.”
I paused. “You’re done with him? I mean, for real this time?”
She nodded. “For real this time. I have to stop this cycle, Rae. I didn’t realize the damage I was doing to myself. Or to you. Or to us. I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m sorry I’ve set this kind of example for you. I’m sorry I raised you in all this. I?
??m so—please forgive me, honey.”
“Of course, Mom. Of course I forgive you.”
She started crying and I pulled her closely to me. I wrapped my arms around her, silently thanking any god that would listen. Maybe this was it. The breakthrough my mother needed in order to see the life she had carved out for herself. I cried along with her, burying my face into her hair as she scooped me into her lap. I hadn’t been in my mother’s lap for years. Since I was nothing but a child who stood tall enough to wrap my arms around her hips. She held me close, rocking me side to side as the two of us grieved with one another.
Grieved for our broken hearts and minds.
Mom kissed the top of my head. “I love you so much, sweetheart.”
My breathing shuddered. “I love you, too.”
“It’s done. I promise you, it’s over. He’s never coming back around. You have my word.”
“Thank you, Mommy. Thank you so much.”
She whispered. “I’ve missed hearing you call me that.”
Mom held me as the rain continued to batter against the window. Even though the thunder rolled away into the distance, the rain continued to flood our front lawn, drowning the grass seeds Mom and I always attempted to plant and grow during the summer months. I sighed as I pulled away, falling back to the mattress of the bed. And as Mom stood up, she reached for my hand.
“Want to watch a movie and make a pizza delivery guy drive out to us in this nonsense?”
I smiled. “Oh, hell yeah.”
She leveled her eyes with me before soft laughter fell from her lips. I took my mother’s hand, and together, we started down the hallways We slipped down the stairs in our socks, laughing and picking at one another as we crash-landed into the foyer. Mom went to grab her cell phone while I picked out a movie, and the only thing that raced through my mind was how things felt normal again.
How things felt good again.
“Pepperoni and pineapple?” Mom called out.
“And mushroom!”
Mom barked with laughter. “Thanks for the afterthought, kid.”
I giggled. “You’re welcome. Especially after you see what I’m gonna make us watch.”
“Please tell me it’s not another Rocky movie.”
And instead of answering her, I simply let the opening song do it for me.
Mom poked her head around the corner. “I’m ordering brownies instead of cinnamon bites for that one.”