It wasn’t helping.
I dipped my head and looked at the floor.
“I want to apologize for last night,” Dylan said softly.
“I think I should be the one who apologizes.”
“No, that’s on me. You didn’t misread the situation at all.”
I looked up. “I clearly did.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Yes, I did!” I stood up. “I kissed you, and you pushed me away. Minutes before, you’d said something about not leaving me alone in bed. Clearly I misread that.”
“You didn’t misread anything, Say—”
“Okay, no. You know what? I have to talk right now.” I held both my hands up, anger balling in the pit of my stomach. “I did misread that, and you fucking suck for saying that kind of shit then pushing me away when I kissed you. I had Seb in my ear telling me you felt things for me, then when I finally feel like it’s worth crossing the line and potentially ruining our friendship, you shoot me down.”
“Say—”
I stormed to the kitchen and held up a hand. “Do you know how humiliating that was for me? You’re one of my closest friends despite how long we’ve known each other. You’re all up in my face telling me we have to accept our mutual attraction and that I’m too close to my bed to be talking about your dick when you’re the one who fucking came at me doing my yoga and got a goddamn erection!”
“Saylor!”
“Don’t Saylor me! Stop saying my name!” I yelled, shoving my finger at him. “You hurt me, Dylan! There! And I am furious at you! Everything before then told me how okay it would be to kiss you, and you’re so sweet and kind all the time, and I thought it was fine if I kissed you, then you pushed me away! Do you know how hard that was for me? To put myself out there like that with you of all people?”
“You’d been drinking!” he shouted right back, throwing his arms out. “I knew Seb had spoken to you. I was fucking furious he’d done that, because I knew where you stood on us. I knew you didn’t want to cross that line and I was bloody fine with it. I was bloody fine being your friend, despite teasing you.”
I stared at him.
“I am fine being your friend,” he continued, this time not shouting. “I pushed you away because you’d been drinking. You were so adamant on us not crossing that line, despite what I said to you. I didn’t want you to wake up this morning and regret kissing me just because you’d made a snap decision under the influence of alcohol and our friends.” He took a step forward before stopping himself. “You didn’t give me a chance to explain that last night.”
I wrapped my arms around my waist. “You told Seb.”
“I yelled at him,” Dylan corrected. “Told him I was pissed he spoke to you, even though I knew he’d done it from a good place. You fucking matter to me, Pinky. You’re important to me. I like living here with you, even if we’re only friends.”
“Was he right?”
“What?”
“Seb. What he said to me last night. Was he right?” I hugged myself tighter. “If I matter that much to you, you’ll tell me the truth.”
He ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know what he told you, not exactly. But the only reason I pushed you away last night is because I wanted to know that if you kissed me, you were doing it stone cold sober because you wanted to. Not because our friends had filled your half-drunk head full of ideas.”
Did that… Did that mean that if I did it now, he’d let me?
That he’d kiss me back?
My heart thumped. “What if I did it now?”
His eyes flashed with something—heat, teasing, horror, it was a bit of a tough one. “Did what?”
“I’m stone-cold freaking sober.” I held my hands out. “Nobody has put any ideas in my head. What if I walked over there and kissed you right now? Then what would you do?”
His gaze held mine. “Depends on whether you have the balls to do it.”
“You don’t think I have the balls?”
“It’s a toss-up, Pinky. Now are you gonna do it and find out, or are you gonna stand over there staring at me like a little lost lamb?”
“I’m gonna come over there and kiss you.”
“Then you should bloody well get on with it, shouldn’t you?”
“Fine. I will.” I didn’t move.
Dylan’s lips twitched. “I’m not coming to you. If you wanna kiss me, you can march your arse over here and do it.” He motioned to the area in front of him, and my feet took control.
I did just that.
I marched the hell over there and I kissed him.
I grabbed his neck and pressed my lips against his, holding my body against his. He was so steady in his stance that he didn’t even flinch at me throwing myself against him.