There was no hesitation. In fact, my voice had gone dreamy.
I couldn’t help it.
Her expression turned soft. “So that’s how it is.”
Affection quivered on my chin, and I fiddled with a string that was coming loose on my shirt, not quite sure what to do with myself. “Yeah. It’s like that. At least for me.”
Except that felt like a lie.
I knew there was something there when Rhys looked at me. Knew it for sure when he touched me. It was big and beautiful for him, too. But where I wanted to run straight toward it, he wanted to run from it.
A tender smile pulled at the edge of her mouth, and she glanced at the closed door. “I’ve seen him with women after a lot of shows—”
I cringed.
Sympathy lined her features, and she probably wanted to take back what she’d said, but instead, she waited, like she was giving me time. She laid Amelia on her blanket on the floor between us while I wrestled with the picture of the man I knew and the one that belonged to the rest of the world.
Emily and I scooted up to the edges of the blanket, and I slipped my finger into Amelia’s tiny hand. She cooed and kicked and made my spirit bubble over with love.
I sat staring down at her, adoring her while I dealt with how thinking about Rhys with those women made me feel. This crushing feeling that I wasn’t sure where it came from.
Emily’s voice grew quiet, “And I’ve also seen him with you, Maggie, and I’m pretty sure it’s like that for him, too. That he’s feeling the same thing you are.”
“I’m not jealous…I’m just…” I toyed with how to answer, knowing I didn’t quite have the words.
She reached out and touched my knee. “You want more.”
More.
I wanted more joy.
More hope.
More peace.
And I wanted us to find it together.
I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “So much more. Does that make me foolish?”
Just a naïve girl who’d fallen for her first, magical kiss?
Emily released a soft puff of laughter. “No, Maggie. It makes you a believer. A believer in something inside of someone else when no one else might see it.”
“Or maybe I’m just infatuated. Have you seen the man?” I attempted a joke because seriously, Rhys Manning was gorgeous. But I saw how beautiful he was underneath that skin, too.
“Is it? Infatuation?” she goaded through the tease. “Nothin’ but an obsession over all that ridiculous muscle and that obscenely handsome face?”
“No,” I whispered.
“Then what is it?” she pressed.
And I knew she already knew, you know, considering I was pretty sure my chest was actually screaming it.
Still, I uttered it like a secret. “It’s love.”
Her nod was slow. “I’ve been seein’ it in your eyes every time the two of you get in the same room. I was wonderin’ when one of you were gonna recognize it.”
She inhaled deeply and slowly blew it out. “But that man…he’s complicated.” There was the warning.
I nodded. “I know. He has walls built so high, I’m not sure how he’s even let me peek over the top of them.”
Stalling, she glanced over my shoulder before she looked back at me with sorrow coating her being. “Has he told you about his daddy?”
That lump grew into a knot. Thickened and tightened and constricted airflow. “No. I mean, he told me that he’s gone, and he’s implied some stuff, but he hasn’t given me any details.”
I only knew whatever it was, it was dark.
Ugly and harmful and oppressive.
That it was what dimmed those blue eyes into misery.
Emily swallowed over her own emotion. “I won’t tell you what happened, Maggie, and I know you wouldn’t want me to. That’s between you and him. But he lost two of the people he loved most in one devastatin’ moment…and I’m not sure he knows how to come back from that.”
“I have a tendency to hurt the ones I love most.”
Torment blistered and blew.
His poor, beautiful, broken heart.
Emily reached over and gathered up my hand. “He’s an incredible man. One of the best. But he has demons that have been hauntin’ him for a long, long time.”
“And he’s terrified I’m going to become another one of them.”
The dip of her chin was grim. “I love him like a brother, Maggie. So much. But you are my sister, and I need to make sure you know what you’re gettin’ yourself into.”
“I’m not sure I could get myself out of it even if I wanted to.”
And I didn’t.
God, I didn’t.
Her smile was slow, and she squeezed my hand. “I know that, and I wouldn’t ask you to turn your back on him. It’s the ones who’ve been hurt the deepest who need the most care. The most love. They need someone strong and fierce to believe in them, to show them lovin’ someone is worth the risk.”